i recently came to a fork on my life-mapthe choice i made felt contrary but i proceeded after remembering to feel the fear and do it anyway risking God's reputation..
i am so far out here it feels agonizingly scary..i wonder am i making a mistake..did i hear wrong...what if i fail..or make a mistake? or go back to the crazy? if i open up to trust will i be hurt again? being vulnerable is risky...but without it you can't love or be loved or LIVE! and i want to LIVE!! don't you?
but you know what? i am choosing to do my life afraid..taking risks..again and again..not letting the "what if's" keep me from trying
but if i'm honest i want risk..i want to risk it all on God to do what only He can! maybe i don't do that enough..or ever i am learning when i am having to trust and it isn't something i can fix in my own strength that it feels crazy and wrong and very uncomfortable when i try to do it in my own strength i end up retreating with my tail between my legs bemoaning the fact that it must not be meant for me to live my dreamswhat is so beyond exciting for me is that all things are possible with God and the possibility that all of this devastation is the VERY THING God is using to heal me! as i map out this trek across my life i am wondering if our dreams are what save us?
that maybe all the heartbreak and all hard places and upside downs are all a part of what crushes us to death only to to birth us in the crucible of the wilderness--being ground down so fine so that the very essence of us is pressed out
the crucible of the wilderness might be part of the key to our wholeness..our healing
the wilderness crucible is pressing out the very essence of my God given story that will be glory giving and life-saving...into wholeness it is the very thing that saves us
ALL the hard places of our life would be the birthplace..the incubator of our dreams...wow!!
this gives me hope to move forward and i pray it does you too! let's encourage one another to keep risking and see where God leads what if i take the risks and travel the miles and what i have longed for all of these years comes to life AND not only alive but way bigger and better than i ever dreamed possible...and if it fails at least i was brave and tried and grown-up into a stronger more courageous woman who isn't afraid to choose faith over fear
maybe i can have both..maybe i don't have to choose maybe i can move forward and it will all become clearer on up ahead
i know it has to begin with me..always us first..not them
are you willing to risk it all...to be all in? to feel the fears that scare you the most--to surrender to them--to let go of control because you think you know better than Me? on up ahead and around the bend is working on that deep shard that is staked right in your heart unforgiveness and vengeance...you know the place to not forget but to let it go..to allow me to re-build in a brand new place .. YOU..on your reclaimed ground
it is going to be one of the hardest things you've faced yet are you ready to let go of that weight you've been hauling around in secret? are you ready to have all that energy you've been using to keep that wound raw to spend on your dreams? are you ready to step out of the shadows and into your God-giving story that will be GLORY-GIVING and LIFE-SAVING..into WHOLENESS
maybe it is LOVE that pursues us that mends and heals...