and what if it doesn't look like you want it to beloved? what if...
as the sun rose on monday i was going to share with you all about bread & wine and how we have cooked annettes enchilada's twice this week ( recipe in bread & wine ) and the blueberry peach crisp ( in there too ) ..ikea curtains..and the way our house smells with new fall candles and the kit-ten that has come to live on our porch...all while my heart percolated with story.
so i honored my heart
everyone is talking about story now. have you noticed?
and what about story leads me to tears? shauna tells us that tears mean something so we should pay attention to them. i agree with her.
i think about my story line quite often these days. that my story just might be a piece of history. more often than not we cannot see where we are going. we cannot make sense out of it. we struggle to try but we often we feel like we haven't moved at all or worse...gone backwards. remember the rut?
the underdog..where highly painful circumstances cause the pain threshold to be 10+ and one can no longer keep quiet.
why is it that we love seeing the underdog win? or the bad repent the healing happen one overcoming the odds stacked higher than heaven against him
if all of the above things are common denominators then why do my circumstances frustrate me? questions that are my constant companions?
good stories..epic stories like donald miller in a million miles in a thousand years book details one man's opportunity to edit his life as if he were a character in a movie. they are what we want our lives to be written like aren't they? if we were naked honest with ourselves. i want an epic story.
ok..let me put it another way i want to be a participant in my own story. i want to really live. to be fully alive. really awake. stop just being busy because that is what americans do now. am i making sense?
maybe like israel..the last king was evil in the sight of the Lord and finally they were captured and taken into captivity and the land lay desolate for 70 years but even during that horrifying time..there were faithful people. people who i am sure wept dry for a different story..were angry at where they found themselves
they may have dreamed of what if's.... what if i die in captivity? didn't daniel find himself a captive? what an epic story he & God wrote yes?
maybe not all stories seem epic this side of heaven. it might not be until we drop our skin that we can really see our story. the living history book we have been a part of.
and what if this really is all i can be..do? will i still be loved will i still be accepted
what if how i picture it doesn't happen? what if...