And my heart may crack wide open but it will never completely close
when i read the word exquisite i fell in love ( see excerpt at the end of post )
that Someone would call my path exquisite just baffles me..but that teensy word carries much weight
do you believe there is a path He calls us to..has just for us and He calls it exquisite? and not only that but we can live on that path! but there is a catch of sorts to do that we have to die to pleasing people...ok maybe it is a mid-life crisis!
i have to divulge that at first i thought i was losing my mind. after the surgery came the depression. "things" they didn't tell me like i will not be able to eat clean like i prefer...that stomas make noises...that they hang on you like hot water bottles and get heavy and get ripped off in the early morning and ruin mattresses and clothes and can overflow in the home depot bathroom stall where people can see ( bag contents aren't like "normal" people contents that day is was like coffee so it spread like a drop of oil spreads on concrete...and most likely think somebody just died in there ...go ahead and laugh. we did. well after i cried
i know i am not making much sense here and that is ok because to focus on all of that .. while yes it is my reality .. will do no real good in the long run.
it does make good memories for the kids because they can't seem to stop laughing at it.
so back to the mid life. the surgery has also left me feeling lost. fragmented. pieces of me floating aimlessly about. just out of reach. long story short rebekah lyons book free fall to fly led me to another sacred book ( to me ) called pilgrimage of the soul by phileena heuertz.
and it is moving my soul in a way so needful. Abba dropped that book smack dab in the middle of my cracked open fragmented life...funny how God timing works. i am getting it. the words i mean.
i believe i am having a growth transformation NOT a mid life crisis. i am being called to my path. an exquisite one at that
life is cracking me open. inviting me to stay open
open to transformation
daring to be different right where i am
this is how each one of us has to find their exquisite path. joni found her exquisite path via ann on ig
a suggestion..don't always discount chaos or a "mid life crisis" in your life -- it just may be God is changing your path..calling you gently onto the path of exquisiteness
DO NOT be AFRAID to be different from other people! the PATH I have CALLED YOU to travel is exquisitely right for you. the more closely you follow MY leading, the more fully I can develop your gifts. to follow Me WHOLE heartedly you & i must relinquish our desire to please other people. --jesus calling july 20
exquisite path..now i like the sound of that.
journey to exquisiteness to be continued...