TWO things divine appointments - do you believe in them? i do. they come in ordinary ways don't they? but the have extraordinary power. much like this post did. she said it in every way i couldn't but tried to here. the north american church is hurting. that is number 1
number 2 is so am i. hurting that is. and you say yeah tiff we already know that...and i laugh quiet at the thought that nobody would know. i had one of my dear friends..also a reader of my blog tell me awhile back she had a dream that i went in a completely different direction. no way i said! i couldn't .. still kinda can't see myself going in any other way.
then yesterdays words wouldn't leave me alone. her words awakened anew the tugging. the whole day was askew in God encounters which hind sight this morning as i finish up this post from yesterday tells me i knew it was more than just adopting a compassion child for me. my heart literally hurts because i don't feel i belong in where i am at. i DO KNOW timing is everything. God is trying to tell me something. get my attention. not sure what it is but it is coinciding with the study of gideon and commissioning and facing fear and a calling maybe?
how i deal with life looks kinda like this cycle i feel the freedom..the light calls me out rumbling deep in the waters of my heart. so i step a teensy bit into it but like these words put to flesh say it so much better..i pull back afraid of the power. and i begin to tidy it all back up. control as much of the chaos as i can and wrap it all up neatly presenting it to my kids and myself and that works for awhile .. until the rumbling comes..it always comes back
this time...i believe it maybe time
i have no idea what i am saying here other than i am listening
and i am wondering what it would be like to be powerful beyond measure..this is not a self centered thought. it is to step out of a shadow and letting God's love expose our calling. our purpose. to agree to write our story. His story. together
i have for a long time prayed for eyes to see and ears to hear. no one really told me but i somehow know to see the spiritual you gotta have spiritual eyes. the bible speaks of it quite often.
this is all leading up to the beginning of the post. gidieon saw the angel sitting under the tree with spiritual eyes. i don't know if he asked for it that morning or not the text does not say so nieghter can we BUT reading yesterday's living words that everyone seared into my soul makes me think my spiritual eyes saw something. this may mean for a later date i do not know
but maybe - just maybe i am uncomfortable here in this time and in this space because i really do have a calling that i need to be obedient to
so-- the calling. maybe i will be led in a whole new direction. maybe not so crazy after all
so today i will be looking and working with the heart to see..to see in all the routine places cause maybe..just maybe might be the day he reveals himself to me...and my calling. but until then i will continue threshing.
i will leave you with this...i love you
i pray for each of YOU today that the eyes of your heart be opened so that YOU will KNOW the HOPE of HIS CALLING, what are the RICHES of the glory of His inheritance in the saints, and what is the surpassing greatness of His POWER toward us who belive. ( He has power toward us...wow. just caught that..sorry) ephesians 1:18-19
**the above picture was on my INSTAGRAM feed yesterday. it was my funny attempt to mimic brett micheals. it was what i wore to work that day along with my new cuff becky created for me. i gave her my three words and a family belt and told her to do whatever. she did and i LOVE it...so much so that i wore it to work and to bed last night. i had the most heart wrenching day but managed to be thankful for it at the end of the day even though i didn't feel it. i am wearing the cuff 24/7....no more of worrying about whether they get paint on them. becky can always make me another but for now it keeps me going. these three words
receive - restore - rejoice i will do a post and share why soon