how have you been? i have MISSED you with a capital M. it feels like weeks! i am back up on the saddle sort ofhonestly? i am struggling with depression. not so much in the day but as the sun sets, depression finds me. i cry over all sorts of things that might happen.. it is a horrible feeling i expected to deal with emotional and physical changes but i didn't expect it to be quite this hard.
" get outside! have a picnic, climb a tree, make a fort, watch the clouds move through the sky. create an ADVENTURE!" --christy ziglar, author of can't-wiat willow
2 things i am doing though
1. practicing thankfulness. everyday. throughout the day 2. finding the sacred..the lesson within all of this overwhelm..and writing it down 3. i find my way to the throne of grace and find my safety there..stinky.bad breath.no words that make sense but God doesn't care.
from the end of the earth will i will call to YOU, when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher than i --psalm 61:2
i haven't blogged in a week or so -- that makes sense so here i am..may help my depression..smile you all are my support system. in so many ways. ways you will never know.
i have a lot of crazy here you know...i am smiling:) SO, to keep my first post back on the light side, i want to share with you our summer plan-
i have begun to see summer bucket lists on pinterest have you? i made one last summer and you know what? we didn't do but two or three things on it which is why
i am throwing the list out the door and opting for meandering our way through summer and see what finds us..leaving the door open looking for the sacred connections in every.single.day
i thought grace might enjoy keeping a list of her summer of things she considered FUN... sort of like ann's #1000gifts
here is how it went down
last day of school was last friday..early release and we swooped her up and met my little sis.. you know the one who is pregnant...squeal...eek! and we all went to the #zoolove
i came home with very swollen ankles and feet but we persevered and kicked off summer surrounded by family we laughed we rode a scary sky tram we enjoyed SO MUCH of God's creation and you know what? it is enough..just soaking up all the beauty He placed us within our feet hurt..evan needed a small timeout..we really didn't do the picnic thing all that well. next time we will no better nikki took a wrong turn and we went the loooong way home
but isn't that the memories? the reason we do family? it is time i get off the crazy train of life working all of the time the fear of people people pleasing...maybe the same thing wanting more and more fear of not being taken care of fear of not being loved fear of not belonging..lots of fear here isn't there.
so i do all sorts of things to keep these things from happening
honestly? i don't want to do that anymore. i am CRAVING freedom..freedom like back in the old days when family worked together and ate around the table where technology didn't replace people maybe it is a pipe dream to think that can ever happen for real but i want to try..to do what i can..if EVEN FOR A SUMMER
my plan this summer is not to have one!!
throw it out the window..good bye - so long - farewell
let's LIVE free let's do some wholehearted lovin' each other
lazy days of summer what adventure will you take us on?
what is your plan...or not...this summer?
1. zoo ( on the last day of school ) 2. she ate her first highboy cheeseburger!