while the day is winding down..and so am I. Down I mean. So down that my physical body is done for the day. I've not felt well. I think the things that I know I can't control and by God's grace I haven't really tried. But I know all of the shoes that could drop at anytime and I am allowing them to overwhelm me a bit.
I'm letting the worry of whether or not we get this house creep in. This house that seems so perfect. This is the fourth time I've tried. I have prayed that I don't want to go anywhere where His presence doesn't come with us. I mean it...really I do but I am battling fear right now. Fear is a bully. I am trying to start a business to have income for us, getting ready to pack for the third time, getting ready to move in the next two weeks whether to this house or a motel. The last thing I need is to get sick.
So what am I going to do?
I took a nap. Just let my body have its way. I just stopped all I was doing. I ate Chinese...not sure about that yet:)... and I thought about
New Day Foster Home and all the children there..Karen and Hannah
Prayed about Kim..
Thought about Gabi and her battle with cancer..
I opened my computer and checked my email and a sweet sweet friend sent me an email that made me cry tears of knowing I'm not alone. Thank you just seems so inadequate..
I just began thanking God for all of the blessings He has given me ... just today. And there are alot of them! I thanked Him that He is fighting for me even while I type. He knows all secrets...He sees me.
It hasn't taken away my feeling way to exhausted but it has lifted my spirits. Enough that I wanted to write it out. To just get up off the couch. My house is a wreck and I have a million things to do this weekend but in light of all that -- I am stubbornly going to choose to claim victory! The war is won. If not this than another way but He is making a way for me and I am still choosing to write a new story.
what things are you being intentional about lately?
Praying a day of gratitude over each of you today. Love you all...
Take one step at a time, every step under Divine warrant and direction. Ever plan for yourself in simple dependence on God. It is nothing less than self-idolatry to conceive that we can carry on even the ordinary matters of the day without his counsel. He loves to be consulted. – Charles Bridge