another midnight awakening throwing off the covers and the chill of night air raises goosebumps as I make it just in time. I writhe over the wiping of blood..the fissures...I fold over and cry waiting for it to be done only to get settled back in bed only 5 minutes later to run again. I fill a tub of numbing water.take a pill and wait.  One of my ongoing battles is the system of a free hospital.  This is a new frontier and one I am learning is unjust to human hearts.human lives. It is where we do business though..this shadowland.


This hospital is a  gathering place for brokenness.  Yes I can judge.   I leave and can't stop wondering what their stories are. Are they really that much different than my own? If I could sit with them would I see them through a new set of eyes?  I'm drawn to the story.   If we could all just strip off our skin and show who we really are what would that look like?

Jesus offers us this " If anyone thirsts, let him come to me and drink.  Rivers of living water will brim and spill out of the depths of anyone who believes in me this way." ( John 7:37-38 msg) Not just give eternal life but for each pang of want He gives.  In this shadowland we have to fight for medicine sometimes.    I am grateful that He has already fought the battle and won.  Tomorrow I am going to fight at a hospital.  Learn that I am worth asking...for help.  I am worth asking for help and I will be scared.

I wrap backup and close my eyes  telling Him I feel so alone and He says...Come and I will give ... so I drank until I thirsted no more...of  Him holding me and slept.  In the middle of darkest night there He is.  Go.

I wish I had a comment section where your emails came to my emails so I could respond right back.  I had that on Blogger but not with Wordpress.  Always know how much your support, encouraging words and prayers mean to me.  You are my community and I'm thankful.

xo happy friday,




**I suffer from and IBD disease Crohn's/Ulcerative Colitis.  If anyone deals with this or knows of someone I would love to talk with you about it.


Click here to still enter for the Word woman sign giveaway.  I will choose the winner on Sunday with a random number thingy and let you know on Dear Monday...


Begins April here to sign up:)

photo credit here