Tag Archives: blogging

72 days of our “simple” summer: days 1 & 2

My thought of the weekend: There is not one thing I can do to control when I die.

Once again the smell of coffee pulled me from dreams and turned the thoughts to please help me today Father..so I walked into the kitchen to pour the morning addiction into my newly found mug that reminds me that I do have a choice and so I choose JOY that today we have a Realtor coming to visit and I obediently thank Him and let go of the fact that the house is a freshly cleaned mess.  I did the best I could.  I swallow the embarrassment that I have let the house get to this point.  It’s not worth wasting the emotional energy on today so I move on to last minute picking up and head to the shower.  No hair wash for me today…just a bath.  I throw the hair up in a pony and some old Nike shorts and shirt and head out for my am 4mi. walk.

This is Our time. the sun is not to far up and it is already humid. sticky. and I want to turn around but I don’t.  It is good for a 43 year old body to exercise.  even if it is walking.  This is a good choice to take care of myself.  selfish?  I don’t know but it makes me feel better so I keep doing it.

In arms that won’t let go I search His words and today it is on rebellion.  Psalm 107 and Psalm 62 and the words that won’t let go of me are these, “Do you think we would ever acknowledge God as God alone if we didn’t experience crises when no one else could help?” You are so near me I can feel You..I grab your face and from the deepest place I can fathom in this human flesh I cry that I love You.  You have a lesson for me and I know but what?  Is it rebellion Father?  If so – show me so I can repent and experience Your freedom.  I’m trusting You in this move because 3 ways of escape have been closed.  I know not of any other ways at this point.

You can bring life to seemingly dying places.  Places like Egypt.  I feel I am heading back to Egypt but I am trusting.  Psalm 62 says that Power belongs to You and that calms the angst.

Before leaving the house yesterday I had to go to the bathroom. I know – but honestly I talk to God at those times.  I guess because I stop for a minute.  Anyway – I was telling Him if He would please go with us today and that I didn’t want to go anywhere where He didn’t go with me and how much I loved Him etc.  Grace has a two day dance recital to celebrate the end of the dance season.  Me, my mom, Nikki and Grace headed to the dance store to pickup pink tights before heading to the recital.

In a split second a red GMC Acacia caught my eye while her tire proceeded to tear off the front of my car.  That was the second that death entered into my 11 year olds heart.  The reality that we are gifted with life and it can be taken in a breath.  God let me look before I really took off at that green light.  She ran a red light.  Inches more and it would have been Grace and I’s side.  We made it to the recital.  My step dad picking us up while the tow truck took my car but left me thanking Him for His lovingkindness and that that day wasn’t the day that death touched us.

On my 4 mile walk the idea to blog through everyday this summer came to me. Why?  Maybe writing it all out may help me read between the lines??  The summer is going to be crazy and blogging through it will help me keep things in perspective…I think. We are moving on the 20th, we have much work to do at the house we are moving into, we have a Florida vacation the first week of July, I don’t know what to do about Grace’s school yet AND I am starting to write a book.  Yes – I said it.  I have NO idea what I’m going to write yet so I am just going to start and see where it leads. The summer of the mysterious book….the simple summer according to a wallflower….I may use a different voice I’m just not sure yet.  When hearts are breaking … one to many times.  thinking that there is no way.  are there really happy endings?   do dreams really come true?

this is the summer that answers will come…I’m quietly trusting.  when the huge waves come.   and they come often.  I hold on.  just hold on.

My soul, wait in silence for God only,
For my hope is from Him
He only is my rock and my salvation,
My stronghold; I shall not be shaken.
On God my salvation and my glory rest;
The rock of my strength, my refuge is in God ( not myself & others ) Psalm 62:5-7

The kids and I saw Kung Fu Panda 2 this weekend and here is what I took away from it.

You didn’t have a good beginning but that is not who you are.
It is who you choose to be now.  You let all of the yuck take everything that mattered.
Inner peace is the key.  We know where true ” inner peace ” comes from yes?  Jesus…and you can really learn something from a Dreamworks movie?:)

I did. We had Twizzlers and Popcorn.  I don’t usually like going to the movies but I made myself because the kids wanted to go. I’m glad I did.

Oh – Grace got her hair highlighted!  I am now one of those moms!  Yikes:)

Today I will hold on to Psalm 62 anytime the doubts assail me.  I pray your day – this summer – is filled with hope and that you also know Him as your stronghold.  I thank Him for all of you that are on this journey with me.  That I walk not alone. Now- I am off to the shower to get ready for day 2 of the recital.  We are done with pre-company and can now look forward to August so she can audition for company!  Love all of you.

courageously waiting in patient perseverance upon Him~

 

 

P.S.  I am not doing much editing through all of this because I want it to be real for me and not stress about anyone reading it.

P.S.S.  There will be no Word Women Wednesdays through the summer.  We might kickoff the school year with a new series.  We will just see where God leads.

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why do you blog…part 2

**ProPhoto is having technical issues..no sidebar.  Hopfully it will be fixed soon!

“Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing we’ll ever do.”…Brene Brown

Dear Monday…why do you blog? was a post that had a lot of feedback causing me to continue to dig deeper for my blogging purpose.  I am sharing three.

3 reasons I blog…right now

One

Community

a foundation of flesh…a support system.

God is raising up a foundation of women for me as I step onto the battle field to go hand to hand combat with the enemy on my own.  Beth Moore said that no one can fight the battle for you in the end.  They can help us on the way there but in the end…it is us.

Two

Calling

Rom 8:30 says….Bring them into the calling that You have predestined for them.  I feel that blogging is Him bringing me into my calling. I’ve wanted to write since I was a little girl and never did.  Just a dream.  Now I can.  It is helping me grow in the art of writing and sharing.

Three

Compassion

In my ” mid-life”;) God has opened my eyes to see women more uniquely and not so much as competition.  Each of us has an authentic calling, genetic makeup, learned behavior, wounds from lies believed, personalities and what we do looks different from everyone else.  We so often put ourselves in a box that is supposed to look like everyone else and when it doesn’t, we automatically think it is us and questions ourselves as to whether we are ok?

I learn a lot from other women who are different from me.

Women are scary. We are not easy to be real and authentic with.  We don’t trust easily.  We put on masks of perfection and in reality, it is the imperfection that we all so need from one another.  Inside we are ate up with trying to be like them and losing ourselves in the process.

Bottom line for me  is …I have some goals for my blog but I am learning to enjoy them as part of  this journey.  Enjoy the art of creating. I am learning to love finding ME.   Just be YOU!

I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world…Mother Teresa

We never know what He is using our story for. Whether you have 20 followers or 2000 followers your story is just as imperative to share as anyone’s. Let us be encourager’s of each others art or calling today.

One’s reason for blogging is not another’s…it doesn’t make you wrong and them right…and it is His blog anyway;)

I get up every morning excited to be with you all..to share my heart as God is healing it..to sit before each of you and learn..I couldn’t be more complete in THIS area of my life.  the rest….well….TIME:) I wish I could give you all a big HUG…thank you for your outpouring of love to Gabi yesterday.  My heart was over the moon as I’m sure theirs was as well.

XO,

********REMINDERS********

Word woman Wednesday & Linkup is tomorrow…a sneak peak coming your way.  Be sure to come back and share in my happy ok?

21 Days of Prayer Warriors begins this Friday April 1….do you have your book copies and ready to go?  Click here to sign up.  Click here for the Prayer Warriors blog.

Nikki is working on a button for Gabi so you can grab one to put on your blog if you’d like…

Please come meet the women God has brought into my life…I love them all…every unique one of them…@ Jen’s Finding Heaven..

Finding Heaven

photo credit here

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Dear monday: why do you blog?

 

Why do you blog?  I know…deep question right?  One that I am really digging deep to answer.  Asking your help at the end…

photo source here

Here are TWO questions I am asking.

Why did I start blogging

I started this last October to just start writing my heart about the changes that God  was doing in my life.  Laying down the heart words on paper.  I have always journaled but the problem is when I went back to read the journals…10 years later I am still in many of the same situations. Not much change.  That is a big problem.  for me.  I am walking the middle right now waiting for direction on which way to go … right or left.

Warning: Vulnerable Confession!

I have NO background in writing, crafting, design, photography anything. I didn’t even finish high school.  I was married at 16 and had my first three children by the time I was 22. I did later go back to get my GED.  That being said – I’ve been a stay at home mom since I was 16.  So 26 years.  I am blogging for ME first…to sort myself out…HA!   I would love to write some kind of book.    I have a few ideas.  I will need an editor as you all know I don’t know the grammer rules etc.  I just write how I talk….lol?  works for me but not so much for a book:)

It has been 5 months?  now what?  what is my niche?  I really want to know!

I have no idea. I know – not a good answer but an honest one.  I am definitely a beauty hunter this I know.  My heart is deep and complicated.  I love to write the heart dialogue down and I look for God to answer them.  I am wanting to find out who I am, my purpose and how to live securely and …….I have a heart for women who’s hearts are hemorrhaging, women in abusive relationships and are locked in prisons of fear and do not know how and/or do not have the tools and support to live life fully. How to take care of themselves and their children. How to find healing for the lies that were laid down with the wounds.

I do enjoy decorating, cooking and all of the things that encompass being a woman.  Just not sure what the blog should be about.  Maybe it can be all these things… I just don’t know.

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this is what has been on my heart for my blog…His blog really.  I really do pray very much about this blog and the direction He wants me to take it.  He initiated this and I am want to follow hard after it.  I think of you all often as I write.  Three of my five children are grown.  The younger two are 16 & 11 and I feel it is time.  This last 10-11 years have been tumultuous to say the least. Lots of changes.  If I’m going to write a different future I am going to have to get off the fence and go right or left.  I don’t want to look back in 10 more years and STILL see the same thing.  It is like deep dreams that I have buried and or never believed inare now saying ” It is time” .

 

What is your niche? do you know?  how did you know?

Why do you blog? Honestly?

I would love ANY constructive criticism on what you all may see as my niche.  What I might do away with and what I should do more of.  I would love very much to hear your words.

Thinking your Monday is the first day of a brand new dream

xo


Linking up to Jen @ Finding Heaven this Tuesday. . . hoping you can stop by:)

Finding Heaven

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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