Dear Monday…the time between morning & night

 

i think he will laugh but instead
he tells me he loves me the way i am.
hearing those words is like
being handed flowers.
— David Levithan, ‘smoking’ from ‘The Realm of Possibility’

vintagerosebrocante:  aquieterstorm: interioralchemy: awesomespaces: (via sweethomestyle)

 

Is there a dark night of the soul? If there is I’ve been in one for the last 5 years.  The last months I’ve been hearing again and it is the little things like this…

the cricket and the birds sing praise to the Son risethe time between the night and the morning and I am an audience of one as they sing their song to the One and I am there..I am present. watching silently as they praise their Creator..I am privy and I can’t help but want more of them… of Him and their song..my heart joins and I give it back as gift to Him. Can 13 or more years go by before a word spoken begins to come to pass?

When you give up trying to understand and just believe…{John 11:40}   He tells us we will see the glory of God and I want to see the glory. As Ann softly reminds me..If I too, live life fully with open hand… fingers stretching out to others and open to receive every gift of everyday and be the gift.  A living out the living words of Isaiah 58.  Am I to put hands and feet to these words?

A time of consecration…I pray for belief to see the wonders..to believe that HE still does do wonders and He desires to delight in gifting us with His glory.   Apart from DOING anything …to just delight.  Everyday and often.  In the pausing…in the thankfuls…He moves.

In the pausing there is oneness that I’m not sure I want to let go of…it is a time of processing all that He is revealing…it is enjoying time with Him and thanking Him for everything..deliberately.  I have put my foot in the water and the waters have been cut off.  I am walking on dry ground. I’m journeying into a new land.  Joshua 3:13

This MondayI’m no longer frozen fearful on the edge of the Jordan.  I am following after the Priest because I’ve never been this way before. I lay down my trying to understand, creating my own way, conforming to what others think I should or should not do, unbelief, ungratefulness and I pick up believing, only going where you are going, knowing who I am and if that means going it humbly alone…I will, delight, thankfulness and letting go and living open before the face of the only ONE I have to do business with at the end.

He is ready to dispossess the enemies…we all have enemies…One enemy and on Day 3  I was reminded that the lintels of my heart are painted blood red and the destroyer passes over and cannot enter into this soul place to wrack ruin and death  { Day 3 trail to the tree } and my heart sang  soaring to believe this truth.   What courage this gave me to continue walking along the dry ground of the Jordan while the Lord of all the earth is crossing over ahead of me.

I am still in a state of soul shock but He gave me two of the best gifts I’ve ever had.  One on Friday and one on Saturday.  I can’t speak them yet.  I am treasuring them in my heart.  Tomorrow is my birthday and I am full!

This Monday where do you find yourself as your hand is shielding the sun as it rises over the Jordan river?  won’t you come with me to bend the knee this morning?

I want to thank each one of you who pray for me and encourage me with your word…I dearly treasure all of this more than you will ever know.  I treasure you.  I am going to catch up on emails..and we did get to go to the Farmer’s Market and enjoy the 85 degree day!

waiting for the song of morning,

 

 

 

photo credit here

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Robyn Q - Touching. I am believing with you, for you, and about you! Be blessed today, girlfriend!

Jen - you know how much I want to know about the things on Friday and Saturday. oh my. I am overwhelmed with joy for you, my friend. And in the not knowing, I will revel in what I do know — He is with you, He covers you, He abides in you.

Glenda Childers - Happy happy birthday, dearest! Sending my love and prayers as you await the fullness of not being in the dark night of the soul anymore.

fondly,
Glenda

misty - Deeply profound and touching… thank you…

Hope your day is blessed and beautiful!

Stephanie - Happy happy happy happy happy Birthday!!!!! So glad God brought you into my life sweet sister! Crying at the comment you left on my blog…really spoke to my soul…thank you for being you!

pausing…

spending a few days pausing

I have made our trail to the tree devotional and weekly gratitude journal’s

Enjoying bubbles

slowly growing…our giving jar we started here ( this post is blurry from switching to WordPress from Blogger)

Engaging life…my girlies feet…ballet feet they are.

Giving my body some grace…praying to regain some strength.  It is just not happening on my timetable..lol.  eucharisteo yes?  If I’m feeling up to it we are going to the Farmer’s Market for Earth Day on Saturday and I am hoping to get some pictures to share with you.

21 days of prayer for sons … I am pushing forward.

Do you ever have times when He’s calling and you must go? want to go more than anything in the world?  I want to run and never leave.  I wonder if that is how Moses felt when he was up on the mountain with God?  those are the high moments…the hills..mostly we walk in the valleys and it is the hill time that pushes the soul.  The lover pursues…

 

until Monday,

 

 

 

If ever you have something God has placed on your heart to share with others on a Word Woman Wednesday please feel open to shoot me an email at tiffkilgore@live.com OK?

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Becky @ Farmgirl Pai - love that you are pausing…so good. can you imagine undivided time with God like Moses had? i'm jealous!

Melissa Lewis - Midw - Love the new header! What a great post. I love your jar!!!!! You just sparked something inside me with this. Someone blessed us with their giving jar they left on our door step at Christmas a couple of years ago. Now, we are blessed that my husband has a great opportunity to serve at a church. I have been thinking of starting to save all our change in a big jar and then putting it all in savings. But now… I think we would be even more blessed if we blessed someone else the same way we were a few years ago! Thanks for sharing this!!!!

Glenda Childers - Hi Tiffini ~ Your new spring header is beautiful. Hope spring comes to your body soon. I miss the days of doing Easter studies and fun stuff with our kids. Glad your are doing that with yours.

Fondly,

Glenda

Paula - Tiffini,

I so love your new header, so spring like.

I am also encouraged that you are giving your body a well needed respite! Enjoy your time with your beautiful family and rest in His arms!

You are loved!

LLH Designs - I love the trail to the tree devotional idea. Haven't heard of that before. Aout your body not healing on your timetable: I can so relate. I have not always iced his timetable, but I have loved His results in the end. He has taught me things…dependence. It comes at a cost.

Blessings to you in the waiting,
Linsey

paige - trail to the tree devotional-wow. i must incorporate this into our lent/easter next year.

enjoy your pausing. may there be blessings xo

Michelle DeRusha - Pausing is so healthy — so impressed that you know when you need this…and you do it!

living life out of a bucket of dreams & grace

Goals that are not written down are just wishes.….unknown

Fiona & Twig

I love a challenge. I have some friends who have a bucket list or 40 before 40 lists and it inspired me to do my own at the beginning of the year. I am finally getting around to doing a post on it.  One thing He is teaching me is we need each other.  I have a big list and upon looking at it I almost want to not even try.  Sharing my goals and dreams with others opens the door for words of affirmation, encouragement and words that build up.  I figured sharing my bucket list here on my blog was a good place to start. Posting my goals will help me to stay on track and be a catalyst to getting stuff done and it keeps me accountable to my word too. The enemy of our soul..dreams.. and callings likes to whisper words that cause us to doubt ourselves and God and the goodness He desires for our lives. I was reading Isaiah this morning and I love what Hezekiah told the people…” But they were silent and answered him not a word; for the king’s commandment was, ” Do not answer him.” { Isaiah 36:21} I am going to think on this when I’m whispered to…I’m not even going to answer a word back.  Just turn away and believe God.

I’m going to come back to this list whenever I complete one and mark it off and put the date beside it.  Have you made a Bucket List and if so how do you stay on track with checking things off?   I would love to hear your Bucket List:)

My Bucket List

  1. take a girl trip
  2. laser hair removal – upper lip/chin…I know:)
  3. letting my hair grow until it reaches my bra strap!
  4. go to the mountains and camp
  5. go to Italy
  6. be self sufficient
  7. make a list of 15 books to read by the end of the  year {I am working on compiling this list to post}
  8. go to a ballet
  9. go to an opera
  10. take at least one photography class
  11. take at least one Photoshop class
  12. take more than one writing class
  13. be more spontaneous
  14. be more intentional in my inner circle
  15. practice making it a habit to be present in my relationships
  16. practice gratitude…1000 gifts list
  17. wear high heels somewhere
  18. spend a week alone somewhere where I can be inspired…all by myself…prefer somewhere sunny:)
  19. visit a winery
  20. run a 5k, 10k and a half marathon in 2011
  21. write a children’s book
  22. continue exercising
  23. get a job – only one that evokes joy and that I want to get up everyday and do!
  24. put more things into my life that bring me joy and inspire my creativity and further my calling
  25. spend more time talking with God throughout my day
  26. continue to learn how to live loved…and then write about it
  27. learn how to operate all of my electronics..blog without Nikki
  28. make family album of pictures
  29. fly…don’t know about this one
  30. broken relationships mended
  31. take more pictures…
  32. go to 5 new restaurants downtown..that I’ve never been to
  33. write an e-book

living life out of a bucket of grace & dreams…..

XO,


 

Linking up with Jen today over @ Finding Heaven will you come?

Finding Heaven

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Jen - Ahhh! Tiffini! This is fabulous. I love all of these for you and I hope and pray that you get to accomplish every. single. one.

Can I be your virtual running coach? Of course I would get excited about that!

And perhaps, that writing class might be in North Carolina, say July?

LLH Designs - I love every single thing on your list. We have a few in common. I'm working on my 1,000 gifts list now. Talk about changing the way I see! Wow!

Love you, girl!
Linsey

Eileen - great list! I've often thought of writing a children's book too…and the running a 1/2 marathon is on my list too.

Stephanie - Love the list. Each and every thing sounds fantastic!

Tracey - I love that you list has some real stuff on, not just activities – flying is scary but mending broken relationships is even scary! You'll have to report back your progress.

Glenda Childers - I love #18. And I have always wanted to write a children's book, too.

Fondly,

Glenda

Cha Cha - Can I just copy and paste this list and make it mine??????
I have missed spending time reading your words, the one written here and the comments just to me. You are a blessing in my life, thank you for having the courage to follow God's calling in your life. I hope to be able to stay caught up now.

Cha Cha

Robyn Q - That #26 is a whole life kinda thing! It's my favorite – and it might be tied to #25. You have some great stuff on here. Go for it!

BTW, I just love the pink theme today. So lovely – just like you!

Blessings!!!

♥ Carrie Shan - I love your list and might have to steal some to add to mine next year. Thanks for sharing….very inspiring.

Paula - Tiffini,

I have to save and reread several of your posts daily. You are an inspiration to me. I love that while you are in the refiners fire, you are truly working on your inner self. Working on strained relations, that is the hardest and the most needed fixing. You are a brave woman that can do it! I have faith in you and know that you will do your best and work your hardest!

With you in prayer!

Paula

jenny - LOVE your list! the laser wax hair one cracked me up – i can relate! isn't it funny how we start thinking like this when we get older? i'm going to turn 34 this may, and i can tell i'm older because i've started thinking in timelines…do this by then, etc. i don't have a specific list but i like the idea of making one. if i do, i'll be sure to share on my blog! can't wait to hear updates on yours.

Katharine - What a great list…Some of these are on my list as well…maybe we could meet in Italy!

Amy Sullivan - T,

So happy to see your smiling face and click over here from the link-up. I love lists, and you've got a good one here.My faves on the list include #1. I have an annual girl trip with the same set of friends each year. I can't even describe the bond we have. Also, #12. I know God is going to use your writing to impact many, and when that happens, feel free to email me, and let me know how smart I am. :)

Laura - A great list, Tiffini! I'd love to see that list of books once you have it compiled… I especially like "living out of a bucket of grace and dreams"!

Keep dreaming, I say.

Jennifer - This is fantastic! What a list! It is going to be so much fun to mark them off as you go and neat idea to put the date!! :)

Melissa Lewis - Midw - Love the opening quote. So inspiring. Thanks for sharing your bucket list with us… I love it!

Pamela - I loved reading your list. I do not have one, but you've inspired me to start one. I can see where looking at the list would inspire deliberate actions.

Joyfully,

Pamela

Kirstin - I love your list. I don't have one, but yours has inspired me to maybe make one. Thanks!

diana - love your list tiffini! if you need restaurant suggestions let me know! there's so many great places to eat downtown. and maybe i'll see you at the half marathon in october?

Dear Monday…inhabit me…

Inhabit me .. inhabit me …like the ticking of a clock… beat these words as I fumble to push through yet another morning awakened by the pulsating pain like a searing in my heart as the cycle of human flesh is to always seek their own way. Only to find a lack…like the beggar waiting for a morsel of bread I come full faced before my Father...reminding Him of Psalm 22:3 that tells me He inhabits the praises of His people…so through inward groaning that can’t be seen with the naked eye my heart asks of Him and praises..as I praise…inhabit…as I cook inhabit, as I clean inhabit, as I grieve inhabit, as I laugh inhabit, as I  write inhabit, when I have nothing left….inhabit…we cry inhabit us.

freshandgorgeous:  (via sayyestolife, laboomeria) photo source here

speak to me from the heart of the fire…like you did the children of Israel.  Give me understanding as to what this means.  Speak to these women who are in a multitude of circumstances so alike and so very different from my own.  Unite us in common praise so we may be inhabited by You.

we can’t choose what comes

True praise is unconditional. It’s not an attempt

to manipulate God into producing the precise

results we hope for.  Instead, it helps us accept our

situation as it is, whether or not He changes it.

Continued praise helps us reach the place where we

can say, ” Father, I don’t want You to remove this

problem until You’ve done all You want to do

through it, in me and in others.


for this moment in eternity I breathe out praisenot understanding it but believing…and in so doing…as you say…to breathe in the glory of God.

XO,

 

 

 

Don’t Forget to click HERE to sign up to receive the traveling Shelter of Story book.

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Robyn Q - Tears. Your words, your heart – powerful. It brings me to my place of collapse. As you say: not understanding it but believing…and in so doing…as you say…to breathe in the glory of God. I see the glory, but I want nothing more but just Him, its enough.

Desperately praying about the Shelter of Story book. I don't even have all the words for the places God has brought me…not sure it's even a story & if so that this is the time to share.

I love this place, you know.

kerrie - "inhabit me…inhabit us" this is a beautiful prayer of the heart. He is our all in all.

Stephanie - Beautiful…as is always, your writing. I love the thought of "inhabiting". So thrilling that He would inhabit us! I have been visualizing me rubbing my hair around on His feet today, as the woman in John before He was crucified, I want to be that kind of girl who just lays down at his feet, pours out everything and rubs my hair and my tears into Him.

Jen - I love this — true praise is unconditional. And I also so resonate with this: Father, I don’t want You to remove this problem until You’ve done all You want to do through it, in me and in others.

Such a commitment to full surrender here.

Paula - Tif,

What a wise woman you are. We are both going through a fire of illness and I loved the last part of your post about true praise being unconditional. I have always tried to pray to be a usable vessel. But I like that "Father, I don't want you to remove this until you've done all that you want to do through it, in me and in others." That is an awesome way to say it! Thank you for your insight! You are a blessing!

Deidra - This reads like a prayer. Thanks for inviting us in…

give me some whole souled food ;)

We’ve heard of Soul Food but Whole Souled Food?

After this last hospital stay I am even more intentional on making every area of my life clean. Starting with my heart but I want that to overflow into ALL parts of my life & my children’s.

I am feeling the need to unclutter so I can focus more on His calling and this season of life that I am entering into with less distraction of STUFF.  Anyone else feeling that way?  I think our country is heading into a mass upheaval in the years to come.  I’ve got a post coming on that soon.

I cleaned out my pantry on Monday. I set the timer for 30 minutes and began cleaning. That was it for the day.   30 minutes a day to a purged house. Having crohn’s/colitis and possibly having to be on Remicade the rest of my life has me a tad frantic about what I am putting into my body and what I could change to do my part to be the healthiest me. Here are a few meals I have been cooking this week.

Simple Thoughts

Pasta con Zucchini

Cooking with my Kid

this was a winner! very easy and good and sitting alongside was a Caesar salad from Costco. Yummy!  16 year old boy…thumbs up!

here is a picture of Lissa’s @ Humble Pie’s green beans, chicken & peanut sauce.  AND my picture of green beans:) very yummy!

I made all three and will make them again.  I used this chicken that Target now carries.  Tender and REAL chicken and it is wonderful!  No hormones, antibiotics….

real, whole, simple and good for your whole soul food!

I’m also on a hot tea kick. My sweet daughter Nikki bought this for me when I was in the hospital and my friend Linsey @ LLH Designs suggested lots of teas to me..she is a storehouse of healthy whole food information by the way…go visit her!  I am loving Rooibios! I use a little agave in it for sweetener or not….it is good either way.

just a little funny: Grace wanted to earn money so she made a list of things she could do for us.  One of the things was a pedi. Warning:  my feet are not ….well…pretty. When I was called for my appointment I sat down and the first thing she did was put Neosporin on her hands and rub them together and then rubbed my feet with it! I cracked up and so did my cracks…in my feet:)  Here is one of our new fav’s from Essie…Going Incognito

I am purging all of my cookbooks and rebuilding with whole food ones.  Any suggestions on your favorite whole real food cookbooks? I bought this one mainly because I liked a few of her Asian recipe’s.

Happy “Whole Soul Food” Friday ya’ll:)  What whole soul foods are you cookin up for the weekend?

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Shelter of Story Guidelines & LinkUp are coming out tomorrow:)

21 Days of Prayer for Sons starts today! I am encouraged already!  It’s not to late to join us!  Click here for more info…

 

Linking here today:)

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XO,


 

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misty - I am right there with you… i loved this post and the way you put it… It's been my goal for months now and I've found that my family has grown not only less tolerant of "garbage" food, but it's so much less appealing!

Jen - Okay, I just cracked up at the neosporin pedi lady! Ha! Can't wait to see about Shelter of Stories!

Oh, and I think I am finally, FINALLY, done with the blog re-do. Perhaps the "mistake" was totally a God thing?? Feels good to be able to create. And I did it all. by. myself!

Glenda Childers - My daughters love anything by Jamie Oliver or Lucinda of Mad Hungry. They cook great healthy meals.

I love tea . . . wish we could share a cup together.

Fondly,

Glenda