i want to be reckless in my faith

“For the vision is yet for an appointed time…though it tarries, wait for it” (Habakkuk 2:3, KJV). God has an appointed time to fulfill the visions, dreams, and desires in your heart. Just because it has taken a long time or because you’ve tried and failed doesn’t mean it’s not going to happen. Don’t give up on those dreams! Don’t be complacent about pursuing what God has placed in your heart. Our God is a faithful God.

(the words underneath this pin moved my heart…i don’t know who wrote them though.  if anyone knows please let me know:)

“For the vision is yet for an appointed time…though it tarries, wait for it” (Habakkuk 2:3, KJV).     God has an appointed time to fulfill the visions, dreams, and desires in your heart. Just because it has taken a long time or because you’ve tried and failed doesn’t mean it’s not going to happen. Don’t give up on those dreams! Don’t be complacent about pursuing what God has placed in your heart. Our God is a faithful God.

{source}

i am taking a risk today – around 10
i don’t know if it the “right” thing..or not
i don’t have all the answers
there has been no audible answer, no sign and no burning bush
but there is an opportunity

it is something i have been praying about for a long time
maybe now is the appointed time
maybe it isn’t

but if i don’t answer the call…i will never know
i am done with playing it safe
caring so much what people think
believing the lie that i am a little girl and can’t make good decisions
that if i fail…i learn from it right?
it isn’t the end of the world

i don’t want to miss the miracle
do you feel this way too?
i am tired of being complacent
i want to be reckless in my faith
i am believing God for my history and the value in it
it is more than the miracle …  it is everything leading up to it
and all the messy in betweens
it is the relationship carved out in the crucible
where faith is proven…

and jesus took the five loaves and two fish, looked up toward heaven,
and asked God’s blessing on the food….matthew 14:19
 

–if i am brought to your heart would you mind praying for me..for the kids…that if its meant to be it will
but if not..the door will close until a better one opens

i love each one of you with my heart wide open..xo

 

 

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Juli Elgin - Praying for you all. That God will shine his light on you.

Kenya Brantley - LOVE this!!! Hits so close to home right now!!! Praying for you!!!

Pam - I’m learning it takes great faith to step out an believe God for who He is and what He says He can do. But I will never experience His greatness and ability to work in my life if I don’t give Him a chance. Praying for you and your children as you continue on this journey of shedding the fear and letting God run the show! I’m working on the very same thing. God WILL prove Himself faithful.

tiffini - We are on such a similar journey!! I pray that your risk pays off today in abundance!! Keep your eyes on Jesus!! He’ll lead you where you’re to go!! I see you running towards freedom! I was that little girl too! Busy kicking her butt. :)

lissa - It’s still early… don’t know why I wrote tiffini. haha

barbara - Praying for you and your family, happy you saw when the door was held open for you!!

Lemonade Makin' Mama - I am just laughing because so many of my bloggy girls are all in this SAME spot! We’re all stepping out, being brave and doing something because we want to be where He puts us. I am loving this!

Mindy - Praying God guides your steps and guards your heart…

tara - praying for you!
I just sent you and email bc I read where something was going on today from your comment on Lissa’s blog. {just call me stalker!}

He will make your path straight and he will direct every step of the way he is calling you…

LOVE the new site look…that Heather is skilled at what she does…so good to work with!!!

love you, Tiff….

Ter'e - Trust your gut and your God. Never fail situation.
You are alwys in my heart and prayers.

Becky - Dare girl. Don’t be that little girl. Be that warrior woman, child of the Utmost High!

stop trusting fear…

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“if we dwell on all the things that could go wrong, we’ll be to afraid to take another step”

ruth had lived in fear all during the months of mahlons illness, and it had accomplished nothing…after mahlon’s death, she decided she would never again allow her mind to dwell on things beyond her control

I started my photography business back in September of 2013 and it has pushed me out of my comfort zone like nothing else. I think sometimes you just have to take a leap of faith. The past has proven me to be a slow and steady kind of girl, taking few risks, and therefore, not really changing or growing much in any way. I think I’ve unknowingly preferred the safety of the nest rather than taking the risk of testing my wings. I suppose I figured there was no failure in the same ol’ same ol’. After awhile the “same ol’” started to feel rather boring and I felt this yearning like I was made for something more yet I just sat here inside the same four walls. The ugly truth is that I doubted God’s plan for me figuring that I had it wrong and there wasn’t something “extra special” planned for me. I actually reserved myself to accepting my role as wife and mom, choosing to be content with just that. But still that little tickle in my soul… this tiny seedling of hope that if I jumped out of the nest God would teach me to fly.

i know some of her words.  i have lived them.  God has been using her risk taking steps to fly to encourage my heart!   as a little girl all i wanted was to have a family.  to get married and have babies.  to be a mom and wife was the pinnacle of  “how it was supposed to be”in my mind.  and i made sure it happened.  it still amazes me the power of the human will to orchestrate a life that we think is safe.  i put all i was and all i knew into those roles.

what i learned was if you throw all of yourself into someone else..or something else
YOU get lost
years go by and if we’re not careful .. we wake up one day old and full of regret
i don’t want to choose that.  to settle for that

i used to think that the passions i had were meant to be hidden
that when i could do something good … i felt guilty
good things didn’t really happen to me and if they did i felt guilty because so many others were struggling

i didn’t give myself permission to shine.  it seemed nonspiritual to me
prideful even?
i am passionate about truth..trust..my relationship with God in all of its messy growth
i fight hard for my convictions and often my impetuousness gets me into hot water
what i didn’t know then that i am understanding more now is that
abba has provided me with circumstances to teach me how to use the gifts He has placed within me
that i need to stop living trusting fear and start putting actions to trusting God..in real life..not daydreams
within my days.  doing something tangible..you know?

i always felt that passion was weird somehow
like i never quite fit in but i am learning that to grow..to move forward i must let go off all these lies
and say yes to what God has before me

to take risks that make me feel uncomfortable and make me want to run the other way
but i haven’t
not yet
i have days that just bomb..maybe consecutive days even
the difference is i choose to get back up.  i must!

i can’t explain it but i am curious to take God at His word this time
i wonder if it is providence.  His timing
for all i know all of the years before have led up to this moment
the hard part for me is waiting.  waiting for that right time
letting the story unfold a wee bit more
i have learned that God isn’t going to light a bush on fire for me saying

tiff – this is exactly what you are to do..and here is how you are to do iti do see feel His heat upon my heart

my normal has always been fear living
but i know now that is not living

like ruth..i have learned that living in fear and dwelling on things i cannot control accomplishes nothing
and like the old fan we replaced with a new gold sparkly light

is kinda how i see the fresh new growth in my life
a new direction and it is spilling out into every area of my life
it isn’t the absence of hard though…or pain

it is like the turning of the seasons..new growth springing up while simultaneously the old
shrivels up and fades

so instead of dwelling on things i cannot control
or feeling stuck believing lies

i am letting go and allowing life to move me as the Spirit moves
one thing i am making a habit of is

taking risks
since we closed the shop several months ago while i recovering from surgery
i had time to really hear God and it was during this time that for lack of a better word the vision for
the new signs came into being

we are taking the next risky step and making everything more cohesive
here on the blog..in our home
i have started a new pin board called my exodus home
more on this in the coming weeks…

i want where i am the things i am being taught to have the same feel 
as what we create

i have been praying for sometime for a new direction with our signs..to set ourselves apart a little
to find our own niche
and i hope you will find that in the coming months as we
show our hearts to you

through our t-shirts – mugs – bags and paper-goods

that they will inspire YOU to take those risks
to not live in FEAR so much
to see YOUR dreams that God placed in your heart years ago
begin to GROW

all of these things will slowly be added in the coming months
the t-shirts will begin to be added to the shop next week so stay tuned to instagram for the first peeks

when we find that what we have been doing isn’t working and we are seeing the same results
it is time to do something different.
just like the old fan.  it had served its purpose but it was in need of an update
a fresh look

the strands of crystals catch the light and together cast a pattern of  dots across the room
bathing the room in captivating sparkles

let this sign..these words be the centerpiece for you little girls nursery.  can be used for years to come!

each one of us is like a crystal.  a unique blending of gifts, personality, quirks and history –that when strung together cast a light so bright it captivates those looking on
and i don’t know about YOU but i want to shine not only for my good but for all those looking to find their way
bring glory to God..really it is releasing those in prisons of fear, shame, guilt by us being released..it is these things that
give God glory!

how about YOU?  in what ways have you seen that living in fear has accomplished nothing?  maybe this weekend spend
some time thinking on what it would look like if you just took the next step..you know the one?  the one that you can’t take because you have been paralyzed with fear?  this isn’t about anyone else’s story.  it is between YOU and God

abba..we thank you that we have a God who is not made of wood stone or any man made substance.  You are a God who created the whole world..and yet..you have gone to unfathomable measures to have a relationship with us.  we thank you for the circumstances we find ourselves in today for they are our teachers.  only You can take to our eyes what is ugly and useless and turn it into something of beauty.  we thank you for your grace that looks at us in our own nakedness and loves us clean through.  so i come this morning with the only thing of value i have…my trust.  here abba…there is no one on heaven or earth that i can come to..that hears me like You do
so abba i pray in the midst of my life…and the lives of my friends who you know even now .. those reading..those who like me find ourselves reckless in our love for you.  we know how frail we are in our human form but we long to see freedom…we long to see You revive Your work in the midst of our years…in my 45th year abba REVIVE Your work…it isn’t to late!
you want what is good for us .. your plans for us are good..to prosper us in all kinds of ways but also
You want glory..help us to not cause harm to others by our words and actions
to SHINE for you..to be like the women of faith before us…ruth, rahab, tamar…may their hearts that burned for YOU burn within us today…
in jesus name

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Lissa - It’s so exciting to see all The Lord is doing in you. I think we’re walking a similar path. I think about you often, just certain that our paths will cross one day! Keep on keeping on!! It’s a beautiful work!!!

tara - oh friend…this resonated with my soul this morning.
i know what it is to live in fear…afraid to shine. so many reasons why i struggle with this.
God is gently bringing walls of protection down in my heart…allowing me to trust him as defender/protector. He has taught me to trust him wholeheartedly…
teaching me to “sing when the evening comes.” {our new sign} :) THAT one came straight from my heart and soul.

i love what he is doing in you…i can SEE freedom. i can SEE walls coming down. I can SEE shackles loosening. I can SEE your eyes being opened in a brand new way. your mind is being renewed by his word. makes me want to DANCE!

i love the vision he has given you for your business…you can do this! the signs are BEAUTIFUL. can’t wait to see more that you create!!

happy weekend…stay warm!

tara - ps. Every time I see anything pinned to your exodus home, i want to squeal. :) Praying for that home….and all that it represents in your life. love to you!

that new light is the bomb.com.

Sarita - Prayers of thanksgiving for the strength that ?God has given to you. Thank You Abba for letting Tiffani feel Your love surround her.
Amen and amen

Hugs
Sarita

Suzanne - Thank you for inspiring me
with your struggles and victories,
your thoughts and prayers. You
truly do ~s h i n e~ my friend!

xo Suzanne

Brandee - God bless, Tiffini.

Lemonade Makin' Mama - Ugh I have tried to comment on this three times on different days and my computer has crashed or something deleted my comment. Bah. Must not have been meant to say whatever it was I was saying right then. LOL I love your heart but you already know that… and I love that new light. What a difference little changes make.

Wow that was deep huh? :)

Love you girly.

emma @ {from my little pink couch} - One of my favorite books is The Jesus Storybook Bible & 1 of the questions Jesus asks was “did you believe your fears more than you did me?” … it struck such a chord with me because I’m one of those who has let her life be dictated by fear & I’m determined to change! Loved this post …. a lot! Thank you for your honest words!

the one post where i said a cuss word….

no doubt.

my finger runs lovingly over the map of my story.  tears wet the page blurring the words.  bethel..ai..paran..gilgal..the WILDERNESS

oh the wilderness.  the wandering.. doubting there really is hope.  despairing that i will ever see LIFE again in the land of the living

i know the promises spoken to me.  i wrote them all down.  the dates scribbled in my bible.  years of words spoken to me

years pass as the caravan marches on loaded down with mixed bags of pain & suffering..vicious lies..cheating & stealing..blaming..hearts raw and rough..dreams shattered and falling apart

i remember events at each dot.  each “town”

leaving egypt … moving toward the promised land.  years spent trusting and doubting.  caving in to my own ways.  subjected to others choices.  choices that left me stripped and wanting.. raw and angry

passionate and groping for a nameless deliverance that i didn’t even know what was needed

but somehow..someway grace gave me a hand up again and i kept going

and here i am at jerico.  an impregnable fortress where the enemies reside

but God said the promised land was flowing with milk and honey..but it had enemies too right?

i am looking up at the wall shielding my eyes from the sun

searing pain and a crack..face plants me on the ground..i wince.. my eyes scrunched tight trying to control my breath
and i can hear him breathe..heavy it comes bearing down my neck sending a shiver up my spine.  i can smell the putrid
odor of lies worming their way around my soul…trying to find a way in and my anger boils over.  the words fall on my wounds
like alcohol…burning and searing

oh God!! rocking back and forth i scrunch my eyes tighter…and over and over i say…help me..help me
i can’t do this..lie lie lie
i have come up against jerico for so many years….it echos in my head and i pull my knees tighter
scared to open my eyes.  i can still hear the breath..i can still smell the stench of rotting lies..luring me
enticing me to DOUBT

this is all so sickningly familiar…the tears burning hot down my face
hot anger tears.  more angry at myself

warrior woman WHEN are you going to get up and BELIEVE that you are a grown ass woman?!!
you are NOT a little girl.  you are not helpless anymore.  YOU CAN trust ME

a gentle but firm voice said OPEN your eyes!!  see Me!
just stop — breathe..open YOUR eyes.  you must be able to “see” child

the warmth of your hand abba..i feel it..wallpaper my soul to yours abba..i want to give you all of me.  all of my trust
just today..stay in today..i need You.  You are God and there is no one else who can save like You.  Your glory is what my heart
wrings itself for.

but i don’t understand it abba.  i don’t.  i wrestle You hard.  You and me..i fight it don’t i?
i have this burning fire inside me and i don’t understand it
help me..

i squeeze the hand of love offered to me

the gates of hell want to see us fall.  to see us bound all up in the wilderness fighting each our own battle of doubts all the while jerico looms before us.  waiting.  a GIFT already given through the blood of Jesus.  maybe we don’t know war like our ancestors.  things got to easy and they settled.  bodies sitting in lukewarm bathtubs.  settling for mediocre.  living dead.

i don’t want to choose that.  i want to be like the children of isreal that were about to take jerico and pray for the COURAGE to take the city–we cannot keep looking at what our ancestors chose — we MUST choose to believe now!  today and pray for the courage to take our JERICO’s.  they have a purpose in God’s plan..

I have already given it to You daughter.  i have made a way.  look back over you story map.  right now…LOOK
all of these places have taught you things.  things you will need as you enter this new land

YOU are worth it
it is TIME child.  we are going to circle the walls
i have already GIVEN it to you….

this is the scary part — YOU have to TRUST Me!

you have to give me the only thing that is valuable to you…YOU
your trust.  your SOUL..all those dreams you hold so close
those dreams are from Me.  I put them there
you have to TRUST Me with them!!
you have to let go of it
you have to stop asking WHY and trust Me…

i could still smell the stench of DOUBT…the lies…i could still feel the worms
so i reached down and picked up my shield..my hands sweaty as they squeezed tight

” the LORD of all the earth is crossing over ahead of you into the jordan…do not come near it ( the ark of the covenant = the presence of the Lord ) that you may know the way by which you will go, for YOU HAVE NOT PASSED THIS WAY BEFORE…then joshua said to the people, ” consecrate yourself, for tomorrow the LORD will do WONDERS among you.”

DOUBT will not win this time–we are in for a hard battle but we have the ONLY One that we need leading us..xo

 

 

 

 

 

ngs

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lissa - Would you believe I’ve already had two texts today telling me to get over to your blog and read it!!! Your words are ministering to others, spurring us onto hope, reminding us that we are not alone!!! Your words are not in vain- your testimony a sweet fragrance to those of us who need it.

tara - “you have to give me the only thing that is valuable to you…YOU
your trust. your SOUL..all those dreams you hold so close
those dreams are from Me. I put them there
you have to TRUST Me with them!!
you have to let go of it
you have to stop asking WHY and trust Me…”

yes. this is it.

Sarita - Powerful words…..

Jeanine - Praying that God will continue to strengthen you for the battle…So true that “you have to let go of it, you have to stop asking why and trust Me” No doubt that all of us need to do that. I know that God will work all things together for good, and He will redeem the years that the locusts have eaten as we cling to Him.

Lemonade Makin' Mama - Isn’t the most natural and difficult thing to battle… the asking of the question WHY? Oh my… if I had a nickel for every time I asked Why I’d be rich. I get it girly. Love your heart.

Barbara - Oh my sweet friend I wish I can rip that doubt from you and replace it with trust I can’t so i will pray that this happens, you are on the path to your own beautiful life that you guide.

Glenda Childers - Tiffini,

I read this verse in my quiet time this morning. Hebrews 11:6 – “And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him.”

I see you drawing near to God. Keep on drawing near to God.

If you ever want to pray on the phone, I’d love to. Let me know.

Fondly,
Glenda

the first messy spill of my heart with no editing….

warrior woman

 

i wish i would have known.

i was trying to find this image and it led me on a reminiscing of sorts.  my life in blog form

this is the house where this post came from.  it was where God came down in a very real way and changed the course of our lives.
i struggle missing this house.   i believe this was number 17.  houses i mean.  in 20 years.  that is a lot of houses.  i had my first real soul friend here.  i fought hard to stay.  for the kids.  for me.  i have achingly longed for a home of my own.  to just be somewhere.

years of fighting took its toll on everything.   a chronic disease from a chronic life of not trusting.

i have wanted to write since i saw stacks of yellow legal pads that my grandpa wrote on when i was a little girl.  i don’t know what he wrote about i just know he wrote.  as i grew older i found love stories.  at 12 i was reading novels that were inappropriate for a girl my age.  i was drawn into their story lines.  i wanted that “love” in my life.  to be loved like that.  at 12 you have no idea what real love even is.

i cry writing these words.  there is so much sadness at the length i would go for love.  to belong.  i had a gaping hole and i spent years trying to fill it.
to a wounded young girl you don’t realize that when you take a bottle of sleeping pills to get a guy to love you isn’t written on paper it is mortal.  you can’t write the character back to life.  and if you could shake that girl and tell here…HE isn’t worth it!  you life will be a living hell…and she would listen.  but you can’t. ( but God was always right there )

no one can tell you when you are hell bent on your own way can they?

i used to think being strong was getting back at those that hurt you
was being able to survive.
was being right
i used to think it was controlling things so that i could feel safe
i used to think being strong was sucking it up.  dealing with the pain
i used to think blaming made it ok
i used to think having babies was having a family.  was having someone to love

i am just weeping as i write.  the memories are sad.  i wish i would have known
i write this not to live back there again because i don’t…much but to begin to make some sense of my story so i
can share it someday.  there is so much that i don’t ever know where to start so i just don’t.
this year i want to begin

i wish i would have known how deep the pain would be of divorce
of letting your children live with their dad thinking it would be best
i wish i would have know that being whoever someone wanted so that they would stay wasn’t really love
i wish i would have known that someone belittling you wasn’t love
that strings attached to love isn’t really love
i wish i would h
ave known how to leave
i wish i would have know that the grass isn’t greener and that often…when your own life isn’t healed you choose something
way worse

i wish i would have know preachers aren’t always safe and they too can be wounded and wound people..families

i wish i would have never entered that church that day.  never talked to that man.
i lost so much of myself…my family through all of that

i wished i would have been able to leave and be on my own and be ok with that
i wished i could have left 10 years ago when my kids begged me

i wish i would have know i was a strong woman…
i always wanted to write.  i am NOT a writer in the sense of all the amazing authors i read…bloggers i read.
all i have is my story and for some crazy reason this won’t leave me alone.  for years to write my story hounds me.
i can’t explain it.  and i struggle because i don’t know grammer.  i can’t make sense…ugh

i laugh…

oh abba..if i would have know all of these things
if i wouldn’t have taken the road i choose i wouldn’t have a story to tell would i?
i couldn’t enter into others pain and sit there
i would never have known of YOUR love.
i would never have known what real strength is
real heart healing..forgiveness..i wouldn’t be learning of boundaries

that saying no doesn’t mean i don’t love you
that being real..being vulnerable is being strong

…sigh
breathe out

as the new year turns the page i am face down hands out reaching for more of YOU
my house is a mess and honestly?  that isn’t going to change no matter how much i muster up the new year get organized mantra.
i am living in a house i am grateful for but i don’t like.  at all.  there are strings attached.  i am praying this year for God to open up a home for me.  when it is time.  it would be a miracle to do so on my own but He is God in every season isn’t He?

this year i just need more of You God…more of me.  more changing.  more real…more of what it ETERNAL!  more healing
more JOY…more PEACE!  amen and amen

i am learning that.  He is showing me that as i grow in trust.

He has shown me that taking responsibility for ME . for my actions is the only way to CHANGE
it wasn’t about changing everyone else
God wanted to CHANGE ME!

when we begin to really change it changes everything else
BUT
it is a loooong journey.  it hasn’t happened in a month or a year.  it has been a process of surrendering
of months of not hearing God.  dark places of the soul
deep valleys sprinkled with a few mountaintops
but it is arduous!

you see…what i am knowing this new year is looking back over my life — He is shaping me into this courageous woman that He always knew me as.  i am a stubborn daughter and He loves me anyway.  He wants my heart.  i have always wanted things from Him.  to be rescued.  to help me…and He wants to help me but not in the way i sometimes asked.

all of the pivotal points in my life He is using to shape me as i grow in relationship with Him.  that is what He wants from me.
and He does His best work in the weakness.  in the surrender.  in the giving up of my life as i see it.

and friends…in this giving up my life He has taken me in places that i cannot even put words to yet.  when He gives permission for your health to be touched it can turn your world upside down.  life seems to be easy when you have your health, money, family a home etc.  the tangible things in life but touch the heart of you soul….

so this year while my house is a chronic mess..it is to cold to clean my truck out and dog hair prevails
i am choosing to take His hand for one more day.

because you see….He is all i really need.  He is the only One who can heal me from the inside out.  not just a diseased colon but a heart.
and not only that…He can use it to help others and He will be seen.

that is my humble prayer.  that all of my life choices He really can use for my good and His glory.
and that all of my kids will KNOW Him in a very personal way.  that He is the ONLY way.

that they will be able to take the hard things in their lives…from my choices and see them as nuggets of gold
to be written into the pages of their stories…that God is still ABLE to redeem.

running to Him with open arms….xo

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Mara - Beautifully written. Thank you for your honesty and vulnerability. That’s what makes it so beautiful. Bless you for seeing the beauty of God in the midst of this messy thing called life. You have an understanding of what He means when He says He works it ALL for good. And part of that “good” is drawing closer to Him and making you more reliant on Him.

marlece - Tiffany, I feel ya (smile)wisdom definitely grows in time doesn’t it? He grows us up and most of it really hurts. I love your heart I always have. We will keep seeking Him together and He will keep being amazing.

Love the post.

deborina - this post could have been written by me, about me. however, i have not been that brave. thank you for your bravery – for running to, not away. your story – told – will be wondrous.

Monica - Oh man how I love this post! I completely know where you are coming from regarding divorce is hard and trying to be strong, wanting to be loved etc.. Next month will be my one year divorceversary! I did not want it and I have 2 little ones at home but after years and years of infidelity my ex husband “thought” he had found better. Our marriage wasn’t perfect, I was unhappy but just strived to do whatever he wanted so that he would love me more and stop cheating on me to “show me or teach me a lesson” on what I had. I thought I had forgiven but there were still those memories that would creep up and kick me in the gut and then I would treat him horrible for cheating on me and his family! Well, October 2012 he got in touch with an old flame and decided she was the one, the perfect one so he came home packed up his stuff and moved 10 hours away from me, our kids and our home that we had together, never looked back. He would come visit the kids and would make me feel wanted, then go back to her. Well, she turned out to be a not very nice person, thief on drugs and lied about her relationship she was in. When he decided to leave, I decided I was done with this none sense and that I/WE did not deserve this or him doing this to us. I filed for divorce and prayed and prayed and prayed. I felt at piece about it and still do because I know God has a plan.Everything has fallen into place for my kids and I. I was able to sell our family home and by our new home closer to family and our life seems to be going to much more smoothly and less stressful than when I was married. There is no fighting/arguing or blaming of others. My kids are happier, not so on edge all the time, more outgoing and active.
I know God hates divorce but I also know that we shouldn’t be treated they way were were treated.
Now, my ex says he loves me and wants to be a family again. I know it’s because his plan didn’t work out. I have prayed and it is not God’s plan for our family to get back together again. You know my ex hasn’t apologized ONE time for cheating or straying or even leaving!
Anyways, sorry I just got to typing and it feels so good to let it out. Sorry for rambling I am sure I am all over the place.
Thank you for letting me vent and posting. I follow you on IG too and pray for you! Love your writing and creativity. God has a great plan for you in 2014 and I am excited to follow your journey!
xo

lissa - and that my friend is redeeming love. I just picture you swimming in that love this year until your fingers and toes get all pruney. as the waters wash over you you’ll find strength, healing, and courage you never knew you possessed. If God is for you, who can be against you and God is for YOU sweet Tiffini, as am I. You bless me!!! Let those waters nourish your soul and feed you as living water bringing life and breath that can only come form him; just like the woman at the well. and you know, once she had that living water, she was never the same again.

LLH Designs - Precious Tiffini, He is redeeming your story. He is bringing forth beauty from ashes and has set a crown upon your head. I can see it! Like the crown in your sign. It sits right there on your head, placed there by the One who sees you as you really are…HIS. You are His chosen and precious daughter. You are becoming the real you…the you He made you to be. And it’s beautiful to witness and behold. Thank you for sharing your intimate, tender, deeply feeling heart. Xo.

Glenda Childers - I am sure it is painful to look back … but as I read this just now, I was so encouraged for you, Tiffini. Because I see a woman who is moving forward with God’s help. Keep going, dear one.

Fondly,
Glenda

Kristina - Thank you for writing this!
Blessings

Heather - My heart is breaking as I read this. I will pray for you. I know you will find the peace that you seek.

Jen - “There’s more to come: We continue to shout our praise even when we’re hemmed in with troubles, because we know how troubles can develop passionate patience in us, and how that patience in turn forges the tempered steel of virtue, keeping us alert for whatever God will do next. In alert expectancy such as this, we’re never left feeling shortchanged. Quite the contrary—we can’t round up enough containers to hold everything God generously pours into our lives through the Holy Spirit!” Romans 5 MSG

Your story and the way you share it so openly is what will bring healing to others who connect with yours. Life is so hard and what a comfort to know that God is healing us all from the inside out. I love this. Thanks so much.
Happy new year!
:) Jen

Christine - Tiffani, you have a way of writing that resonates with my soul. It doesn’t matter if you know grammar or are trained in writing. You have a gift and are able to touch others with your words. I do not have a blog, Facebook, or any of the other popular social media. I do read several blogs and one of those is yours. Please bear with me as this is one of the few messages I have ever written. I do not know your full story but I feel the pain in your posts as I have been in a very unhappy marriage for over twenty years. I have primarily stayed for my kids and not wanting them to have to “give up the lifestyle” to which we are accustomed. I pray always for God to Guide me. I have always felt that God wants families to stay together and that divorce would tear my family apart and I would live with regret for the rest of my life as I have heard from others how painful divorce is. My youngest just turned 18 and I am at a crossroads. I am so grateful for your encouraging words. Gods blessings to you and your children in 2014. I will continue to follow and prayer for you. I am wondering to all reading… If you are/were in an unhappy/unhealthy marriage and chose to leave…do you eventually get to a place of thankfulness and new beginning? I am so afraid to make a change

sheri - Loving and praying for you sweet sweet Tiffini :)

Jeanette - Thanks for your bravery, Tiffini. I can relate to much of what you’ve shared. I know God will bless you for focusing on Him as you continue healing and growing!

Jeanine - You are running in the right direction, and that’s what matters. God will redeem the years the locusts have eaten! Praying for complete healing in all areas of your life…thank you for sharing.
I’m about your age, and it took me a long time to realize as you have that being vulnerable and open does help us go stronger.

Patty Page - I love your words and your heart, Tiffani. Keep sharing—other’s words have been such a challenge to me in this past year. I want God to change me, too.

Ter'e - Oh Tiff,
Many of us have walked this fine line. Many – well most – of us understand. We’ve been there. No one said life was easy.
I knew how strong you were the very first time we corresponded. Much much much stronger than you thought or let on.
Breathe honey………………breathe deep.
You know God is leading you. Taking you by the hand like a small child. You are on His path – not your own.
Just trust him. He is there for you and so are we……………..don’t forget that. You will be surprised at what you can do when you have to.
I am a betting woman – and I bet you will come out on top. Healthy – happy and full of the joy you so badly want. Don’t give up. The worst is behind you.
Trust and breathe…………………and regain your strength and gather up every single ounce of faith.
I know you will make it. You have such a beautiful family. They are so worth fighting for. Look at their faces. THEY will strengthen you too. I have no doubt you will make it.
xoxoxoxox
T
P.S. Don’t forget – we are always here for you too.

Barbara - Oh this is a story that must be from a believer! God loves you and is using you to show all of us that he Loves and knows what we need. You are as awesome today as the day he created you, love your sweet heart.

Keep your heart open all will come your way,
Barbara

Suzanne - T, I am so sorry that you’ve
carried so much pain, for so
long. That you are tired but
mustering the strength to lift
one foot in front of the other
and move forward is a really,
really amazing thing. I hope
that you can see that and believe
in all the goodness and love
that is carrying you onward.

Being present in this moment
is the only thing. Let go of the
past and do not cast your eyes
on the future. Just be here, now.
That is what I am constantly
striving to do….what our minister
asks us to do….and it feels right.
It feels holy, somehow, too.

Sending warm, 32 degree hugs
your way–yes, that’s warm in my
book!

xo Suzanne

Suzan - This is so incredibly beautiful! Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your heart!

yolanda - Tiffini,
This post and the one after really spoke to my heart. You and I are on such similar paths maybe on seperate paths but such similar paths.
I feel my Jericho is trust over doubt . I think while I expectantly wait on what I feel god has called me do I am also scared.I am working through the obstacles that prevent me being close to god. I feel like one of those people who are in endurance races over desert and storm and in jungles and when I emerge out of it fully in god’s presence I feel that I will look a sight . I am and will be dirty, bloody and bleeding , lips chapped and thirsty and hungry. I feel like I have been stoned in the public square I have so many bruises and breaks from life.
I want to be like Lazarus and be raised from my old life to new life.
Tiffini, I cannot express to you what your sharing this means to me and your friendship. I meant what I said I would love to find someway to meet you this summer.We don’t live so far apart that we couldn’t meet in the ozarks or St. Louis or here.
I want you to find happiness that you so richly deserve and I hope to encourage you in the way you encourage me.
I feel that our greatest gifts to others are when we are real and open our true selves to others without masks so that others may feel they aren’t on the path of life alone.

what if we prayed circles around our own Jerico’s?

This would be the year that we would be just bunch of messed-up, broken-down people — with a swordBecause every. single. one. of. us. is  facing. one. hard. battle.   
–ann voscamp

photo (6)

nothing happens by accident when we have eyes to “see” the sacred

the timing of ann’s #memoryproject2014  and evan g coopers book recommendation the circle maker

that i have some deeply buried dreams
sacred visions that i want to go for
giants that i have long wanted to see slayed that are still standing in defiance

if feel an urgency within my spirit..

so i cut out living words printed on paper…

i have deep wounds that are infected.  wounds that i allow to be continually broken open
and i have been trusting God to get me out…in His way and it is HARD

so i read about prayer circles…about finding my “jerico”

and my mind & heart begin to beat faster.  God is speaking….

WHAT IF’s… begin pounding in my brain and i can’t write fast enough

Do not plant your dreams in the field of indecision, where nothing ever grows but the weeds of "what-if."  ~Dodinsky
source link was broken…

what if we each found God’s heartbeat for us..

what if  we DARED to TRUST God to fight our battles and began putting action to our unique dreams

what if we quit fighting in our own energy and began to trust His?  i mean really trust…

what if we really choose to LIVE instead of FEAR

what if we stopped letting false guilt and shame keep us from becoming a naked page for Him to write on?
after all He has already given each of us a song.  our very own song woven into the fabric of our soul
it is not ours to sing

it is HIS!

HOW do we DO..in real everyday life…THIS?

prayer SWORDS!  we are spiritual beings who have been given the weapons to fight
problem is.. we don’t use them.  we use our energies.  and they are not God’s weapons

people ARE NOT our enemy!

we have to prayerfully figure out what our jerico’s are.  what habits we want to see be set from?
what do we want to see a breakthrough in?  what do we want to see happen in the lives of those we love but in OUR OWN LIVES?

if we are changed it begins to change everything around us

in the lives of our family..friends
a book to write..a ministry maybe..starting a family..abusive relationships..the list is endless

we cannot fight in our own strength.  been there done that.  a lesson i continually have to come back to

in a matter of two days these two things came into my life –
God is calling – are we listening?  

what if we begin together by praying circles around our Jericho’s?

WHAT IF this is the year for that one battle that you have been fighting for years..for the walls of it to come crashing down?

get the book…download the verses

THIS is the YEAR to plant for a HUGE harvest!….xo

 

 

 

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paige - amen
amen
&
amen

Amy Avery - the timing of your post for me is not coincidental as no things with God really are. I have been new to your blog from linking to it since just before Christmas through others blogs. Your words ring with so much truth and love and I thank you for sharing these thoughts inspired by the ONE who loves you and loves us all. I believe like you that God is in search of each of us and he is calling our names over and over and over again. A friend that is close to me is traveling on your same journey medically speaking. I don’t know what it is like to have gone through the experiences you have had, but I have see it happen to my friend and know that it is truly life-changing on so many levels. You are in my prayers not only for your physical well-being but also as you continue to allow God to mold and shape you and to shine his light through you to offer healing and love for others. May you continue to grow in God’s peace as you receive his grace and love while he shines his light through you.

Glenda Childers - My husband brought home a real sword when he toured the civil war sites this past fall. That is what I pictured when I read this post. I will use it as a reminder.

I gave Dave The Circle Maker for Christmas a year ago … and I haven’t read it. It is time.

Fondly,
Glenda

Lemonade Makin' Mama - Oh that fear one… that has my name all over it. I’m going to be doing some new things this year and I will have to actively and intentionally push fear out of my way. Gonna be a challenge but I’m going to try! Love ya girly!

Juli Elgin - Thank you for sharing. I am printing mine as we speak.

Becky @Farmgirl Paints - Girl that visual is perfect. It really is. I love your heart as always. I will walk those walls and blow my horn right with ya.

Lissa - Jeanne bought me the book “A lineage of Grace” for Christmas by Francine Rivers and there’s a fabulous story about Jericho and the israelites in the promised land. First it said that God promised that land to them but their faith in God failed even though his promise did not, so He held that promise for the next generation. He’s so faithful! The Israelites disobedience, due to fear, etc, caused a 40 year delay. Anyway, it just struck me that I want to walk in the promises of God because I think many times my own fears have caused delay in my life. The book goes on to state that as the next generation was devoted to God no one could stop them because God was on their side. That’s when they marched around Jericho, the walls came down, and the story goes from there. Man I hope this makes sense, it’s hard to try and get the whole story into one tiny comment. but promise me, even if it’s not making sense here, it’s encouraging! haha! I highly recommend the book. :)

N.N. - AMEN!!!!

tara - it has been so cool to see you turn into a warrior.
do you feel it? you are.

looking forward to seeing what God unfolds in your life this year.
beauty from ashes…in both of our lives!

yolanda - I love this post as I do all of yours. I needed to hear this. I have a lot of what ifs in my life that need to be I cans so that god can shine forth in my life.I feel you are a shining light for your faith to others. I also want you to know that I would /will one day own one of your signs but right now just cant afford it.
Stay warm and happy .