sometimes i am so hard on myself
with blogging i feel like i don’t have a good voice like so and so does
i can’t form correct sentences or catch you with the first line..you know all of the “rules” of writing
blogging or a book
i am hard on myself on the way i look
on the way i talk
how i swear i have a phobia of people
i LOVE people but meeting YOU or layla, shaunna, ashley, karianne, becky or ann– you get the point. i want to sooo bad
but i am afraid i would just have nothing noteworthy to say
( perhaps we/i compare to big things to my seemingly little things but we don’t know what is big or little in God’s eyes do we?
He doesn’t love based on big or little..
and those sweet hearts above? yep..they wouldn’t want us to either. they are just people like we are who are passionate about what they do. they share their gift
and that looks and sounds different in SO many ways.
but deep inside i have so much to say
i just have a big fear problem. it keeps me stuck in the house
i also noted to always put to much on my plate. always
i once home schooled all three of my children, had a new baby (grace)
taught a women’s bible study every sunday
cleaned the whole church every week ( my girls helped me..they were 12 and 13 roughly at the time)
i didn’t teach out of a book...i wrote the study each week.
i taught precept classes & took the classes
at that time i cleaned the house and managed to cook dinners
today we would call that awesome! we would look up to that type of woman and i suppose people did. it is pure CRAYzy!!
but inside i was falling to pieces. funny thing — i have never let the pieces all just fall. i have read that sometimes you need to let it all just fall
i never could. still don’t think i could
i laugh..here i am at 45. 3 out of the 5 kids grown and i still feel like i am overextended
now we have technology…skype..email all of those things are/can be such blessings to those overseas etc
but oh what a tangled web it has become hasn’t it
the constant social media…i hate to get on that bandwagon but as i step back from myself today
can i share some things i have maybe learned along the way?..to pass on to you young momma’s
:::take the time to enjoy those babies those kids. mine is 13 and still begs for my time
i am going to do more with her this week
all this blogging, social media and business stuff can just hang on a sec. i can’t. she can’t. they can’t wait!
i read casey’s post this weekend and said YES!!
do this with your kids–
money and all of the stuff we work soooo hard for is fleeting and in the end — when your laying there dying..you won’t care. you won’t
:::even if you aren’t a player…play
find something that you can do with them
:::listen. listen to what they say
stop and look at them. stop typing
stop scrolling on the phone
stop sewing, painting, designing whatever
:::do more things spontaneously. wake up one day and surprise them with a day trip
a trip to the park with a picnic..if you have no money go to the library
:::make a family vacation a ritual. every summer. go camping…spend a weekend in the backyard in a tent if we had to right?
go somewhere within your budget. be creative. technology can be helpful here. pinterest peeps!
just do something every summer that the kids can reminiscence with their kids when they are grown.
:::make funny memories! they roll their eyes and say you are embarrassing me mom…i get that ALL the time now for some reason..miss grace
but i know she loves it. the kids and i will sit around and laugh cry over funny things that we have done.
:::teach them life skills..how to run all the machines in the house. do their own laundry. cook dinners. pack their lunches
clean the bathroom. make phone calls properly, handle their money. ALL those things they need when they don’t have you.
don’t let them become dependent on you when they are old enough to do it on their own. often that is way younger than we give them
:::let them learn how to handle hard things without you saving them. this is a BIGGIE for me.
:::receive from them. let them love you their way. it maybe different than yours. TEACH them to RECEIVE! giving is talked to death about but
not receiving. we don’t know HOW to DO that. with people or God. i know i don’t and i don’t believe i am the only one. that didn’t hit me until way later.
:::make your home a safe place for them. i don’t mean with bars and locks. with love and acceptance. i still love brene brown’s manifesto
these are just a few of the things i have learned along the way. still learning. they ALL still apply to me. i too am looking inward to see where
i can stretch. sometimes i think God is telling us to STOP and start at home. we often ask for the BIG things…let us do something HUGE for You
but He is saying…just be. be in your family. leave a stronger legacy
i may not live to see some of the things that i have done that make a difference
but i do believe this. it is NEVER to late. ever!
so where am i going with this…well i am not sure other than i am tired
of being so hard on myself
i am ready to be alive and not dead in busyness
i am ready to re-capture some of the fun and easy times we had when the older kids were younger
i am ready to become an adventurer
to meet people even though i am so afraid
i am ready to be a warrior..ready to be what God knows me to be
i know i won’t feel it for a bit but when you keep picking up courage everyday..a moment
you become courageous
and i might have a little something noteworthy to say after all…
what, pray tell…do you have to share with me today that you have learned along your journey?
are you ready for an adventure too? ready to throw this busyness out the door once and for all?
let’s see where this leads us shall we?