i believe this post is what this post is all about. it is about letting go of my way & grabbing hold of His. simple surrendering but it isn’t really simple.
i have been playing with taking a break from the sign shop for months now but Resistance = Fear causes me to pick it back up.
i am worn out from listening to the voice that always tells me i can’t. i am crazy. you can’t write. you can’t teach. that is pipe dream. that is so prideful.
what will you do for money. you can’t….it sits on my shoulder and nags and nags and little by little…kills me. stops the call from ever happening
and i will die without truly living my calling if i don’t shut it down. now. for such a TIME as THIS!
the more important a call or action is to our soul’s evolution, the more Resistance we will feel toward pursuing it
–steven pressfield – the art of war
you see i am torn between signs and writing my heart. i don’t have time for both
and the good thing is winning over the better thing.
i LOVE the inspiring and motivating part of sign making. LOVE the words but i do not love all the labor & time it takes from me
and my family
and most importantly from God and the calling he has planted in me.
the work has taken over our lives and leaves no room to breathe
i am humbled that so many are blessed by what we do…i am! it is God’s work surely!
but sometimes we have to lay down something that looks so good for something better
you see i have a heart pull that i have had since a child. i know that it is time to put action to it. time is ticking. i am choosing to
do it afraid. daring to live greatly in the arena
we do have something unfolding in God’s hands right now and since my next surgery is scheduled for october 29
we will be closing the shop on monday october 8 until january.
a FULL life in the emptiest of places. pursuing a FULL life. now that sounds right to me. for me.
my life will begin to glow in the darkness, my shadowed life will be bathed in sunlight
i will always show you where to go..I will give you a full life in the emptiest of places
because i have read halfway through my own book and i am worn weary.
from deep cavernous places guttural howls break forth. incoherent because there are no words.
it has lived in my bones. my marrow. my breath. suffocating me in a slow death until i DO SOMETHING with it! this calling
my calling…ok there. i said it
wanna come with? oh i do hope so for i think it will be a grand adventure
because i think we will have awesome news to share jeruselum?…wink:)
have you read it? you need to because we are going deep!
i will leave you today with words from mary oliver
what is it
to do with
i only have one life to live
do i really want to live it hurrying after things
that won’t matter in the end?
are YOU willing to die having NOT lived..or are YOU willing to die LIVING? decide!
or do i want to live full faced before a God
trusting Him at His word
to see the beauty that only He can bring forth from ashes of hopelessness?
Wake up, LORD, Robe yourself with strength! Rouse yourself as in the days
of old when you slew Egypt, the dragon of the Nile. Are YOU not the SAME today,
the one who dried up the sea, making a path of escape when you saved you
the victory is in the surrender….xo