hello sweet friends. i am a heap of a mess this morning. sitting here surrounded by my candle.
my journal and bible i can hear the heat purring and the coffee pot dripping as the house begins to wake up.
i wanted to let you all know that there is a place and time when i believe
with all of my heart that God will be present and longs for us to come and sit and hear what He has to say to us.
we have a date with our beloved an audience
i believe it will be an intimate time of healing and freedom
i wanted to share it real quick and then i will share more details soon but if you are able to come we would love for you to join us.
this is about Him
we are just the bodies He will use to humbly speak through i have been praying and praying over this for awhile
and we have been praying for each of you
so right now
if you can
could you save the date?
see you in chatanooga
please clickhereandherefor all of the event details as they go live
That’s plain enough, isn’t it? You’re no longer wandering exiles.
This kingdom of faith is now your home country. You’re no longer strangers or outsiders.
You belong here, with as much right to the name Christian as anyone. God is building a home.
He’s using us all—irrespective of how we got here—in what he is building.
He used the apostles and prophets for the foundation.
Now he’s using you, fitting you in brick by brick, stone by stone, with Christ Jesus as the cornerstone that holds all the parts together.
We see it taking shape day after day—
a holy temple built by God, all of us built into it, a temple in which God is quite at home.
the house of belonging vision was born in the wilderness
shaped by adversity. from within and without.
i am grateful for the crucible..for the refiners fire
the bible tells us that God is FIRE
Do you see what we’ve got? An unshakable kingdom! And do you see how thankful we must be? Not only thankful, but brimming with worship, deeply reverent before God. For God is not an indifferent bystander. He’s actively cleaning house, torching all that needs to burn, and he won’t quit until it’s all cleansed. God himself is Fire! -hebrews 12:28-29
and i love that picture of Him being a wall of fire around me
And I’ll be right there with her’—God’s Decree—‘a wall of fire around unwalled Jerusalem and a radiant presence within.’” zechhariah 2:5
my soul throbs for the longing of His voice, His touch, His presence
it has from the moment He awakened me to His love
20 years later here is this house that in my wildest dreams
i am sitting here wave after wave of fear washing over me
“what are you DOING?”
i don’t know i answer. i am believing you abba. You draw. it is Your work.
i have to surrender it. letting it go. it isn’t mine…
i was inspired when i readlissa’s IG post on her opening her home up for a book study
can i just call her my sister from now on? ok good….insert BIG SMILE:)
and then a God-moment when we talked on the phone and an hour later had booked me a flight to see her in seattle!
and i got to meet these faces..hug them..hear their hearts behind the smiles and it moved me. changed me.
so, here is what is on my heart right now
a book study at the House of Belonging
i have two books on my heart
1. the first one is All In by Mark Batterson. it is a must read in my opinion. a good book to read after The Circle Maker
2. the second one was just released yesterday
it is called Scary Close by Donald Miller.
i wanted to get your feedback. any locals out there?
i was thinking of one evening a week we meet and share. learn from each other. leave the masks at the door
i want .. i pray for this home to be a safe place. no judgements. just support. a safe place to fall once a week.
you don’t have to be a “christian to come”
what night would be the best?
we will have coffee and snacks
and i pray that friendships are formed. a network of women from all seasons. all walks of life to encourage and support one another
to be made whole and holy
we are the focus of His love
it is in christ we find out who we are and what we are living for
hear the truth
believe the truth
we are sealed by the Holy Spirit.
before we were adopted we let the world tells how we were to live
now we learn to trust Jesus enough to let Him grow us.
we are being created this very moment to join Him in His work that He has gotten ready for us to do
the kingdom of faith is now our home country
i am no longer an outsider.
i BELONG here.
i swallowed my pride. i am learning to love. i also learning to be loved by the perfect Lover.
i am done following rules
i am surrendered to follow Jesus. period.
sleeping in past my usual pre-dawn alarm clock had me feeling a bit off this morning.
i made the coffee. a splash of coconut creme creamer. stirred. lit a candle and sat down.
my before one cup brain fog hadn’t lifted so i sat there taking a few gulps
before i knew it one cup was gone and still abba and i sat there
i poured another cup. splash of creamer. stir
bathroom, IG, added some more to my todo list, checked the shop, made a phone call, a text
then focused on the book of ephesians again. i have been reading the entire book “almost” daily
wanting to make it a part of me like breathing in and out
yesterday in my journal i wrote down that it is in Jesus that i find myself!
how do i know that? it says it as plain as day in Ephesians 1:11-12
the thought didn’t escape me that over these last months i am changing.
I will be 47 this april and i really do feel the clock ticking much faster than it used to
when you have been to nearly dead and back it changes the way you get up in the morning.
:::saturday aha moment
i am practicing..i mean like DOING it.. to stop listening to what the world tells me i am to be
you see, the truth is in ephesians
i am done with letting the fear of growing old and my husband cheating on me hold me hostage
losing the elasticity in my skin, wrinkles, my hair thinning, cellulite, saddlebags and muffin tops
my boobs..well i never had much of that. sorry to tell ya honey i am no victoria secrets model. while i think they are beautiful and honestly i do not look like that in lingerie and maybe you don’t need me to or expect me to
but i feel the pressure
but i am not caring so much these days.
i am wanting to cut my hair off a bit. just a bit. i have lost so much of the thickness since the surgeries and to be honest
i am afraid i will feel ugly. i have a big nose and a larger head…true statement and i am ok with that
pulling my hair back in a ponytail and tucking it in the elastic makes me feel a little writer”ish”
and some studious looking glasses maybe?
that feeling..you know the one
when you feel really good about something inside..like it is YOU!
means more to me than what you think of my big nose and head with shorter hair
i made a list on the plane back home from Seattle visiting my sister friend lissa
she blesses and inspires me. she is a gift.
( and these pictures are hers…aren’t they beautiful )
i feel SO blessed to be more aware that i am becoming who He created me to be
:::my saturday list
here is the list of some things i am learning about myself
maybe you can relate to a few
1. i need solitude breaks every several months. just me and God time. to take a break from the frantic life. to contemplate and cast visions. to stop and give time to really dissect all of the noise and get down to mine and God’s.
2. i love comfy and cozy spaces.
3. good smells. they cost more but they are worth saving and splurging on.
4. good coffee. espresso is my new love.
5. even better. chocolate with coffee.
6. coffee dates with sister friends. friends that get you. sharpen, encourage and call you upwards.
7. i am simple. simple clothes. simple hair.
8. i am an adventurer at heart.
9. i am brave.
10. i love really good books and i am making a commitment to read again.
11. i am a savor”er”. i love to savor things that make my heart leap like the way coffee washes over the salt in salted caramels
12. having a thankful mindset has changed everything
13. i love drinking sparkling water out of long stem glasses with a slice of lime
14. i am a foodie. i love to experience food with people i love.
15. i don’t believe it running anymore. what you run from always finds you. big girls..grown women face their giants even when they are afraid
16. i am a grown woman. i don’t need a savior in human form. i have a Savior and His name is Jesus. i can make my own decisions and i really really like that:) it is freeing!
i realized i am done going through the motions. i have been done for awhile now and i can see the difference in my life now.
i am done with saying yes to the fear’s of what if he leaves me. it just keeps you locked up and intimidated and controlled.
or of being who “they” want me to be
i am learning to hear my own voice for the first time in my life and i really really love it
i am learning to love myself.
to really LISTEN to myself.
to love this once broken lost girl who just needed to be loved and taken care of
and searched and chose things that only enabled and drove her to keep driving herself to
fit in…only to be empty at the end of a day.
i don’t say this with anger or animosity but with GREAT JOY and FREEDOM
like i really am twirling in a wide open space..hands high
hugging my abba for His affection and love for me – ready to explore this spacious life
ready to take His hand.
i want to encourage all women…but especially middle aged women to begin to listen to your voice
a few coffee’s in i began to feel JOY..real joy
and just offered up thanksgiving to jesus for just today
one day to move a little slower. to do laundry. to cook a real meal
to write a bit. to know a little more of who i am and getting more and more comfortable in my own skin
to not always feel like i have to apologize for everything i say
to stop saying sorry because someone makes me feel ashamed of myself
to say no to false guilt
that i am forgiven of all of the past
to use my new eyes and ears to see all of the places God is working and JOIN Him!
to really begin living
not living for everyone else and becoming who they think i should be but for
YOU Jesus! for you! it is in YOU that i am becoming
and i really, really like her
and it all began unbeknownst to me when psalm 18: 20-24 came to life within my life
when i let go and let God take control of rewriting my life
happy friday friends! the day after christmas and i can’t believe it is over can you?
i really hope you got to take some time and slow down and be present in the moments.
it is hard to do in the days we live in .. at least for me
i think as i have gotten older and lived through so many “sad” christmas’s that the meaning for
christmas has become more about the finished work on the cross and the freedom
that i now have in christ.
practicing daily to trust, let go, make courageous choices rather than fearful ones…that sort of thing
a spacious and free life being chased by God’s beauty and love…now that is the mindset i want to have as we
enter into 2015!!
ok…our Etsy shop is closing at midnight on december 31 and leading up to that we are offering 20%off
on the entire shop ( excluding customs )