Category Archives: My Story

Dear Monday…an artist in high heels?

It is on my bucket list this year to wear high heels somewhere.  I’m not a heel wearer…at all.

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Inside you there’s an artist you don’t know about….Say yes quickly, if you know, if you’ve known it from before the beginning of the universe.

-Jalai us-din Rumi


I MADE these and look at them!  They were even edible…not just so so… YUMMY!  I am so proud of myself!  This is Martha Stewart’s recipe. I got it from Cooking with my Kid.

We printed these invites off from Emily @ Jones Design Co. for Grace’s Valentine at school

She cut ribbon and wrote on them … and share them on Friday.  Ugly black blob – last name I took out…sorry:)

Cooking with My Kid Valentine Heart Cookies click here

Prep Time: 1 hour  Cooking Time: 10 to 12 minutes ( I used my convection oven and it only took 5 minutes -this batch got to brown on 8 minutes..subsequent batches turned out perfectly..sorry for the dark cookies;) )

Cookie Ingredients:
2 sticks unsalted butter (at room temp)
1 1/2 cups granulated sugar
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 large egg
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
3 cups all purpose flour (plus some for rolling)
1/2 teaspoon baking powder

Frosting Ingredients:
3 cups confectioners sugar
1/4 cup lemon juice or milk
sprinkles

In a large bowl combine flour, baking powder and salt.  Set aside. In the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, beat butter and sugar on medium-high speed until light and fluffy, about 5 minutes. Add eggs, vanilla. Mix on medium-high speed until combined. With mixer on low speed, add flour in two batches, mixing until just incorporated.  Turn out dough onto a clean work surface. Divide in half, and pat into flattened rectangles; wrap each in plastic. Refrigerate for at least 2 hours.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line large baking sheets with parchment paper or a Silpat. On a lightly floured work surface, roll out one rectangle of dough to ¼-inch thickness. Using cookie cutters, cut out shapes. Using a small offset spatula, transfer shapes to prepared sheets, placing about 2 inches apart. Bake in oven 10 to 12 minutes or until edges are just starting to brown. Let cool before frosting.

For frosting, stir together confectioners’ sugar and juice until icing is spreadable (add more juice if you need to). Spread glaze onto cookies and add sprinkles.

Enjoy everything sweet today….

Top Photo Credit - Shelly Kroeger

Photo Credit – Nikki @ The House of Belonging

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soul on its knees…

As I tread gently in this sacred ground… my soul has been on its knees..for us..for women

would you covenant to  pray too?

I believe it begins with one

will you be one?

it’s coming and it is going out…will you be willing to jump  “naked”  in a  canvas of community with me?

it’s sacred…it’s community

over the next days…will you pray ?

here is the verse that I have been praying

This same Good News that came to you is going out all over the world. It is bearing fruit everywhere by changing lives, just as it changed your lives from the day you first heard and understood the truth { not the lie } about God’s wonderful grace.

Colossians 1:6

make ready for the vision…

sharing my heart over with Michelle @ Lost in the Prairies for

& Jennifer @ StudioJRU

sneak peek


come connect with others will you ?

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sweet incense & a free gift

soul work – this is where it happens…we’ve just gotten used to relating on levels that avoid soul issues….

from Your Secret Name

Accept my prayer as incense offered to you, and my upraised hands as an evening offering.

Psalm 141:2

As incense – Incense was offered every morning and evening before the Lord, on the golden altar, before the veil of the sanctuary. Exodus 29:39, and Numbers 28:4.

“as the sweet gift offered in the evening.”

daniel farmer

I’ve always had a receiving issue.  It is hard for me to receive something without feeling as if I have to give something back in return.  The truth is…I do have those in my life that expect something in return.  There is most always a string attached to what they are giving.  No thank you…I’d rather not…that is a game I choose not to play.

this has carried over into God and I’s relationship…until lately.

He is not letting this one go…not this time. I’ve always been one to record life…mostly through journaling.  When things are deep…words…moments – I want to capture them quick and engrave them on my soul … time elapses and I can’t recall.

My soul has been in turmoil of late…vacillating between feeling as though I have nothing acceptable to give Him and knowing that that is ok.  He doesn’t play that game.  Remember here when I shared my altar jar with you….this ismy Bethel…my sacred place.  It is where the divine and the daily meet…often where the words won’t come and the numb won’t leave… where I am raptured by a love that allows me to just BE..before the angst builds up so much … where the escape eludes me and I silently scream arms raised up high and He comes and I am emptied…spent

Jacob mirrors me…wrestling and I won’t stop…importunity crying out this time Father..each of my senses heightened by His movement…I hear YOU…all around me…this is what you can give to ME…  my outpouring… your overfilling.  I give Him back all He shares.  This sacred place … He pulls me into Him and I breathe Him in and me out…over and over until there is no.more.me

I’m not choosing fear…I’m wrestling…I’m not letting go…going to let fear keep me from my soul being healed..I believe there is a step farther past just settling…just being reconciled to the fact that there isn’t something more…what if there is more…if we open our soul to Him…risk being naked, vulnerable…

Father it is in you that we move and breathe and have our being…unhindered…relentless..naked and vulnerable we pursue you…we will not let go until we’re blessed..we gratefully meet you here…each at our sacred place

…waiting for what you shall say…

Here is my simple gift to you.  I pray these help you to build a memorial for remembering…altar cards for you to write your words…His Words in your sacred place…what He has done… is doing…comforting me/you so we can comfort others.

to think about as you move in Him today…what offering do you have to lay on the altar today?  Have you ever felt like you had to give God something back when He gave you something? will you refuse to let go until your blessed?  ( not talking money here:)  are you willing to step a little farther than you ever  have before?

Photo Credit - Daniel Farmer

Come with me won’t you?  I’m over sharing Jen’s @ Finding Heaven

Finding Heaven

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Dear Monday – what are you into this month?

What I am into this month – February 2011

On my nightstand

I am reading Redeeming Love and Your Secret Name…simultaneously:)  I just got Ann Voscamp’s book A Thousand Gifts…can’t seem to find the courage to read it just yet….I just finished Beth Moore’s So Long Insecurity.  I have posted here, here & here on other books I’ve read.

Book of the Bible

Isaiah is my book right now….so much God is speaking to me here.

Want to read

Made to Crave by Lysa TerKeurst

Experiencing the Depths of Jesus Christ by Jeanne Guyon

T.V. Show worth watching

I am not much fun in this dept:(  I am not much of a tv watcher.  Since we have Netflix –  I LOVE documentaries…at the first of the year we watched the No Impact Project and China’s Lost Girls with Lisa Leng.  Also like…Food Matters.  I tend to lean toward things that are truth and making a difference…that gets me stoked!

crazy… but I like George Lopez, Frasier and I like Hot in Cleveland…

I enjoy cupcake wars…generally like FOOD Network.

Movie I’ve seen ( in or out of theater)

I just watched The Duchess…I don’t know how old it is.  It was on Netflix.  It was heartwrenching.  I prefer fairytale movies where there is a happy ending:)  As we speak just watched Sweet Home Alabama…happy ending..

In my Ears

I am still LOVING Kerrie Roberts new CD.  I also listened to a song that I heard on Andreas blog The Organic Bird called Crows & Locusts by Brooke Fraser that I really like.  Dream by Priscilla Ahn… I am really liking and wanting to know more of singers like Priscilla Ahn and Brooke Fraser.  I like that sound.

Items of note

Looking forward to lanching a new idea on Valentines Day.  I will be sending out an email and asking for your help so be watching your inbox…super SUPER excited

What I’m looking forward to next month

more consistentcy…make days more routine for the kids…and myself.  Sitting still…by pursuing what HE is telling me to do

Two newest blog reads

Ordinary Courage

The bottom line is that ordinary courage is about telling your story with all of your heart. My blog is a space for my story.
Brene Brown

Madeline Bea Life Set to Words

Check this out…my friend ChaCha just opened her Etsy shop here…look what she is making!  Adorable right?

In my kitchen

I shared here on Friday about our mission to find a balanced way to eat that is both economical and whole foods…less boxed processed junk.

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NOW then.  Your turn!  What are YOU into this month?  Fill up the comment space or borrow this for inspiration on your own blog.

Inspired by Megan over @ SortaCruncy


and some weekend birthday pictures ….sushi & Orange Leaf frozen yogurt



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a victim…me?

When I was little, Dibby told me a story about her cousin who had a dog – just a mutt – and the dog was pregnant. I don’t know how long dogs are pregnant, but she was due to have her puppies in about a week. She was out in the yard one day and got in the way of the lawnmower and her two back legs got cut off. They rushed her to the vet who said, “I can sew her up, or you can put her to sleep if you want. But the puppies are OK – she’ll be able to deliver the puppies. Dibby’s cousin said, “keep her alive.” So the vet sewed up her backside and over the next week that dog learned how to walk. She didn’t spend any time worrying; she just learned to walk by taking two steps in the front and flipping up her backside and then taking two more steps and flipping up her backside again. She gave birth to six little puppies, all in perfect health. She nursed them and then weaned them. And when they learned to walk, they all walked like her.

Gilda Radner


I went to bed last night angrier than all get out… shoving it down further with a pb&j sandwich at 10:00 pm.  Sixteen…full of hurt, betrayal and anger..holed himself up in his dark room with the dark songs feeding the everybody else’s fault and our family is so messed up and they don’t want to go through it all over again… mindset.

The words that could slice through came out almost…his attitude provoked the anger out.
” I can’t stand….” and I wanted to say you

I walked out carrying that you and went right into my place of emptying and I started talking to You..a reminder went off..talk to me about everything remember? When that anger comes… bring it Here…talked more …slept.

Between being gently shaken and dozing I muttered a good morning and gave Him a hug…the fog still thick the words came again.  4:45 on the phone caught my eye…I finally understood…He wanted me out of bed.

I talked specifically beginning with things that had made me angry with him…then I asked it…the question…WHY am I so angry at them sometimes? In the midst of what at is going on now why this? Have you ever known God to put the focus right back on you when you think it is something else? There was a history to these questions..this wasn’t over last night..this was chronic disease I’d had for 24 years.

Beth Moore said, ” God willed – no matter how difficult – to make sure my two precious pups would not grow up to walk like their mother the victim. Or like her mother the victim.

Me? a victim? that seemed so wrong and yet the piece fit perfectly

passtheparcel:  i think i’ll wear my hair like this tomorrow (via obliteratedheart)

There the truth was..it coursed through my body signaling the timing of God’s grace.  Father gives grace for truth doesn’t He…truth.  Grace for Truth.

I see myself in them…I’m angry at myself for being/staying trapped!  when I hear it in them..it rubs up against it..

His word was a gem…meant to be placed in the foundation of my new heart house…my new house…the one that I belong.

I wanted you to know why you are so angry at your children

They’ve learned to walk like you.  You are angry because somewhere inside you know where this is headed for them.  You see their future…different but the same.

Now you are ready to SEE and to allow me to do something impossible in you and your children’s lives.

I grew up watching the women in my family being victims…to insecurity.

I was a victim as a child. Trapped.  I wasn’t given a choice.  I moved into adulthood with this mindset attracting relationships that kept me off balance and emotionally drained..controlled to my very core.

Remember at the end of the year when I said here I forgot something and I was going back to get it?

Now I know what I’m supposed to go back for.  ME. I’m going back to bring that little girl out of captivity. I feel almost as though God is rending my heart and coming down with the missing pieces I’ve been agonizing over for years

I’ve lived trapped because I believed the lie I was.

I’ve taught my children how to live trapped.

I’m going back for her.  I’m ready…He is with me with every step I take. I’m going back to the day I was born.  Why?  I was once asked the question, ” when was a time in your life when you were the happiest…and I couldn’t really pinpoint a time when I didn’t have this heaviness pushing down on me.  The day I was born…or during the nine months.  It is there.  He wants to show me so He can be there and heal it.

I don’t believe He shows us anything unless we are ready to be healed of it. I’ve said it much lately…no matter how hard fear falls like rain I KNOW God is moving…and I choose to trust.  I’m writhing…sweat glistening on my heart…each day brings a new obstacle. His water washes over me.

Part One

Have you lived trapped?


Sharing my heart @ Mama’s Heart over at Erin’s today would you please join us?

It’s Grace

Photo Credit - Obliterated Heart

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