Category Archives: My Story

surgery scheduled & the winner of the fierce sign

honestly?  i have been wearing many hats lately.  running a business..growing it..is lots and lots of hard work
i am learning it is blood sweat and tears on my part and then letting God do His part
which means the down time i do have is usually spent answering etsy convo’s..planning the next days workload and putting something in my mouth to eat…cleaning house .. oh and i do find time to eat Mexican with my mom and girls!!  i love Mexican food!!

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it leaves little time to peruse my favorite blogs and leave comments
answering back comments on my own blog
all of which i miss terribly!!

but you know–it is part of growth.  it is a season.  for me..i know i cannot do everything- we aren’t meant to.
i can only do so many things and do them well so some things have to be set aside for a time.  and i am learning not to feel false guilt
or take on pressure that isn’t mine to take…you know?

and that is ok!

and honestly… i passionately love what i am doing and where i am at right now

i feel like i have been given a second chance in life..i am feeling better and stronger than i have felt in years
it has been a year april 28 since i had major surgery having my colon removed and a colostomy bag.  since then, i had another surgery to create a new pouch that takes the place of my rectum made out of my small intestine ( crazy right ) and then april 21 i will have the last and final surgery where they will hook it up and remove the bag.  while i am beyond grateful for this process, having a bag has been…life-alteringly HARD!!  and while i am super duper excited to not have a bag i am aware there will be some months of healing and adjusting to the new way of doing things.  it will be hard.  but I AM READY:)

i will never be “normal” again.  there will be things i won’t be able to eat.  there are some issues that pop up with jpouch’s and energy levels always seem to be an issue and dehydrating but being on this side of severe ulcerative colitis and having such a poor quality of life i will take this anyday!!

God has been my rock..my strength.  He chose me for my weakness…it has been through these hard places that i am willing to be teachable, by His grace, to be taken deeper into trusting Him

giving Him a real chance to prove Himself to me

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i am trying to learn everything i can from this experience and one thing i have been practicing is LIVING BRAVE!
to STOP DOING WHAT ISN’T WORKING..and figuring out why i keep going back

creating a new future – living day-tight as mark batterson says:)

nikki and i have so many things coming up–i have some fun news that i will share soon too:)

all of this being said
PLEASE know i think of you all often.  i do!  it is the way i am made.  i know those of you who pray with me..and for me and encourage me are part of the reason i am this far in the journey.  i am SO looking forward to the next part of the adventure–and i think it really will be an adventure!!

if i am to tell my story…i have to be at that place to help others get out…so this season of my life is part of that story
it is part of what i am to teach but i have to “live” it first…does that make sense?

ok…now for the winner!

we had 313 comments and random number generator choose 105

Ashley – ashmcferrin on ig –

i asked ONE thing you want to do this summer and Ashley said, ” my kids have been begging to go fishing for the first time…
so this summer i want to go fishing!….have fun Ashley..fishing is one of summers highlights:)…xo

whoo hoo girlie!!  email me at tiffkilgore@live.com with your address and it is boxed and ready to come home:)

xo

 

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this is worth fighting for & a winner

i needed to be encouraged…and i thought just maybe YOU did too

maybe your THIS is cancer, divorce, rejection, discouragement, depression, loneliness, or something so terrible it shouts but remains unnamed?  whatever is pounding loudly in your mind, your body, your soul, let me…let US be YOUR balcony person today..yes?

let me hug you with my words.  let me wallpaper your soul to mine.  let me encourage you to sing God’s song, and let me remind you that the song in YOU is His idea

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hear me when i say the apostle paul did not lie when he wrote, ” long ago, even before He made the world, God CHOSE .. US! me and you..to be His very own

i’m leaning way, way over your balcony railing; i’m waving my coat above my head, and i’m yelling above the frightening noises of your world, ” i love you!  i believe in you and your abilities!  you can do it!  keep at it!  keep on!!  He’s here beside me..our Abba..and He’s beaming with delight in YOU!  yes, that’s right, He’s here, and He’s not sitting down

YOU are His child, He is your father.  His coat is off too, and we are both in your balcony cheering YOU on together!!
–excerpt from balcony people by joyce heatherley

wasn’t that good?  i want to that kind of  balcony person.  and i need balcony people
i have struggled this week with something and through a song God reminded me that i am standing with an army

that i am not alone
that i just have to look around…and look up
there really are people in my balcony..cheering me on and up
rooting for me

and friend…look around…look up
i’m waving my hoodie for you!!  with tears streaming down my face
i am cheering you on…YOU ARE GOING TO MAKE IT

…xoxo

THIS is Worth Fighting For T is in the SHOP

when nikki & i saw these words we knew we had to create a tshirt
all of the items in the shop are inspired and pulled from our life

here is part of our mission statement i felt led to write one night
i want to make it into a sign for the shop–God’s shop
it is a joy and a gift to do what we do and we are humbled..truly
at your support of our business but more than that..of our hearts
in the words of ann voscamp
all is grace

2014 mission

::::::::

thank you for sharing your adventures with us
it was awesome to read each one!!

the winner of the circle maker book  is kahra!!  number 21!  email me at tiffkilgore@live.com with your address and i will have it mailed right out to you
ps..i wish i could send you tickets to paris too…don’t quit your daydream…layla @letteredcottage

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our paint color..thrifted shutters..and a giveaway

its kinda fun…just us girls
that is how we roll most days

so when the weatherman said there was a winter storm coming
instead of dashing off to target with everyone else scooping up all the bread and milk

we went to brass armadillo to see if there were any fun architectural pieces for the home!

we didn’t walk away empty handed
we found a pair of really awesome weathered shutters for either side of our kitchen window

one side was mostly green

the other was the grey that we really squealed over!!..layla shared about this stuff that you can paint over all the chippy to
keep it from flaking off so we ordered some through amazon

Non-yellowing sealer made to use on top of white or chipping paint

above photo from lettered cottage:)

i am really wanting to keep the walls and main things really neutral and then add color in changeable places
cause i am prone to change…

as far as the main paint color
it chose us
we painted several squares of each color

glass of milk – martha stewart
swiss coffee – benjamin moore
classic grey – benjamin moore

House of Belonging

in the kitchen, living room and all three girls bedrooms

then we just lived with it for a couple of weeks.  letting the light from sunrise to sunset fall on it
the house chose the color really..

House of Belonging

classic grey won out much to my delight

we are loving how the light from the big windows washes the whole house with a happy glow!

i love coming home now..and that my friends is what paint color is all about…it is a cheap albeit laborious antidepressant!

now for my latest favorite read & a giveaway

i can’t tell you how much i loved the circle maker..so much so that i want to share one with YOU!!
if you’ve already read it .. enter anyway and give it to someone.  it could be a life changer for someone..or YOU:)

all you have to do to enter is:

if you could run away tomorrow on ANY ADVENTURE…where would you go?

leave it in the comments below and we will announce the winner in the next post!

easy peasy…:)

i want to leave you with rodney “gypsy” smith words from the book that wouldn’t leave me..and i pray they won’t leave you either
that they will MOVE us to draw a circle around our ourselves…

gypsy’s secret was revealed to a delegation of revival seekers, who asked him how God could use
them, just as He was using gypsy.  without hesitation, gypsy said, 
“go home.  lock yourself in your room.  kneel down in the middle of the floor, and with a piece of chalk
draw a circle around yourself.  
there on your knees, pray fervently and brokenly that God would start a revival 
within that chalk circle

oh abba…burn in our hearts…set us on fire from deep within to be your followers from this day forward
no longer religious rule followers…
raise up original jesus followers such as have never been seen before in our country…

:Source List:

Wall Color : Classic Gray by Benjamin Moore
Trim Color : Simply White by Benjamin Moore
Chairs : Restoration Hardware
Pillow : Ikea
Shutters : Local Antique Store

 

 

 

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keep your proper distance daughter

its monday – is that a good thing?  not sure yet:)

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we got a lot accomplished this weekend like making our menu and shopping for it
laundry…kinda
picked another color to try on our walls
we cleaned a lot
we purchased some things to make a few really awesome projects…hoping so anyway…:)

ate with family…always FUN:)  food…i love food

what did you do?

here is my dilemma today: i am a hard core runner!
i have some peter in me…i will not deny you jesus….i get ya peter…i do!!

not the kind that pounds the pavement however…although pavement has come into play
i am a runner aheader : the runner that when things are moving forward at an alarming rate i go just keep going without stopping to ask for directions
which has been known to find me hurled headlong INTO the pavement..only to come up bruised and bloody…ick!

nowadays — whether i really am wiser or i am just 45…you be the judge
i am more comfortable with acknowledging that while these tendencies can and are be used for awesome things
many time they have gotten me ahead of God

so this morning when i was aroused from my fitful sleep at 3:30 am…i thought i might as well grab a cup of coffee
and have a conversation with my abba

i told you here that i had been steeping in these verses ( yes, instead of running all over in the bible like i can do….this must be a tendency of mine…ha)

so i went to those verses AND read the rest of colossians…which btw i am really identifying with.  i think i might begin to memorize it…anyway

after all of that…writing in my journal things that were impressed on my heart – i turned to joshua and there i read

joshua was up early and on his way from shittim with all the people of israel with him.  he arrived at he jordan and camped before crossing over.  after three days, leaders went through the camp and gave out orders to the people: “when you see the covenant-chest of God, your God, carried by the levitical priests, start moving.  follow it.  make sure you keep a proper distance between you and it, about half a mile–be sure now to keep your distance!-and you’ll clearly see the route to take.  TIFFINI YOU have NEVER been this way before!! — joshua 3:1-4

ok..was that something i need to listen to?  to DO something with…well i think so!!

there is lots of action words here FOLLOW..start MOVING…i have been listening and moving–following when i feel God showing me too…but the reminder here..for me anyways

is to follow far enough behind God to be able to see which way He is showing me to go
REMEMBER - i have NEVER been this way before.  this is all new territory for me and i still feel like this picture!!

isn’t that awesome?  abba knows this about me and He knows i want to grow in this area
learn HOW to bridle this FIRE…does that make sense?  ok…hope so:)

it’s monday..yep and today i am going to practice rest.  not a static thing..i see it as a steady rhythm–moving through my busy day but instead of having my eyes to the grindstone i want to be focused upward and outward…ALERT to where abba is working..where i might need to take the next turn. just a restful moving through a monday..

what about your monday?  do you have a tendency to plunge in and not stop to see where the next step maybe?
what kind of runner are you…wink:)

next we are going to talk about paint colors and projects…and i laugh…cause God always is up to something right?

 

 

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full of FIRE

 

we took the weekend to finish cleaning up & clearing out the old house.  moving the rest of the stuff into the shop.  moving is exhuastingisn’t it?  the chapter is closing and a grand one is beginning.  i’m scared to death and excited all at the same time!

a silly sidenote: I just realized yesterday that our two new addresses both equal 10!

i don’t know the words to tell you how i am feeling these days so i will share two photos that “kinda” capture it.
i started a new pin board titled .me.  it is sort of a “vision board” to help me get to know me…and what that “looks like”.

here is the first one – i am terrified of heights…and to swim in lakes so this kinda captures that stomach in your throat..eyes closed
freefall

Ah the boat house

this is the other one…

THIS one…to me…captures just a little what it feels like when God’s love and grace POURS down on me
like RAIN!
and the funny thing is i am seeing FIRE all around me!  like in my quiet times with God…FIRE words
my friend speaks a song to me…FIRE
my sign is aries…FIRE
and in Hebrews 12:29 this morning… God Himself is FIRE

i don’t understand it…i just see it…pray it…journal it

it burns inside…lissa said it this way, ” i have FIRE in my belly”  i have known fire in my bones for a long time.  i never knew what to DO with it..or really what it was
now don’t get me wrong…i still don’t KNOW what it is or what to DO with it except

LISTEN to it! 

the unexplainable thing is how His love rain fills the empty places and yet…leaves me wanting more
the fire is burning while the rain simultaneously leaves me screaming Your name abba!!

there are so many things going on in my life right now and honestly…some things fall through the cracks.  some balls drop.
i am focusing on my relationship with God and the business and really just LISTENING and GOING where i feel He is leading
i can’t explain it to you…i don’t understand it

the exodus house
a SHOP that happened in 3 days…literally!!  i have GOT to tell you the story!  it is SO God!
i still laugh like sarah must have laughed thinking of it

but i DO know God is moving
He wants us to LISTEN
the promise of the promised land still stands..we can still enter into it but we must BELIEVE and not doubt
there is the letting go…the taking a RISK!

speaking of RISKS!  i am so far out here girls….so FAR
several times a day myself asks myself ” WHAT in the world are you doing?!

but you know what?  the material things can be nice but i am keenly aware that they are GIFTS and meant to be enjoyed
i am still learning to enjoy good gifts from my abba!!
but not worshipped or the means to an end
the BEST thing ever is getting to know God more…and deeper
and taking His hand and going on a GRAND ADVENTURE ..WITH Him

we will go on together girls…i don’t know where we will end up
it could all fall apart in the end…that is what the LIES tell me everyday but the TRUTH is
it could end up to be the most amazing comeback story…EVER!!
God has this one…i believe that!  God is above ALL things…yes yes and yes!!

it’s better than sex!  i know…GASP!  the S word…i’m 45..i’m over that…ha!
just sayin!

my season of life and circumstances maybe different than yours.  my kids are grown for the most part.  i still have grace who is 14 but i don’t have little ones anymore so i have more freedom than i did when i was a mom of young ones

my fingers are cracked and bleeding from work.. stain and paint under my nails everyday
my hair is thrown up into a messy ponytail or bun
mu daily attire is paint clothes
not much time to go out on the town getting all dolled up
my laundry is in piles
boxes are still strewn all over the house waiting for be put away

I USED to believe God just came in and did the rescuing
now i KNOW it takes hard work on my part…PRAYING hard and long…for years sometimes.
at the same time .. when it is GOD’s TIME…things are effortless.  they just HAPPEN!
you see Him everywhere!!  HIS PART…it blows my mind!!

the SHOP is in full force and is fast becoming our second home

the days are FULL
my heart is on FIRE

and i don’t know much or do many things well
but the ONE thing i am hearing and responding too is to let God LIVE FREE within my LIFE
i am deconstructing false constructs (LIES) i have been taught
and rebuilding from the ground up!!

it really hit home when i was asked to fill out a page telling about ME and i couldn’t answer hardly a one of them!

i don’t know WHO i am…no wonder i was whatever to whoever!! 

it is so much more than an exodus house..it is my exodus
i am making a commitment to share more often about that here..everyday or two.  so many many of you have prayed through with me
and supported me with you words and i can’t thank you enough!  i wish we could sit together over coffee and just talk
for hours!  you have asked about a home tour and i promise i will be sharing all of that so very soon.  just taking a little time to get
things in their place!!

we just added our first POSTER to the SHOP!  ( link on the sidebar ) it is printed on a high quality archival paper and is SUPER nice

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so i will leave you with these words for monday
fill in the blank with YOUR name!!

___________ LIVE COURAGEOUS

love LOVE love to each of you today!!!!

**i am having trouble with linking and images…just something weird going on with my computer…so i couldn’t link to lissa, the shop, my .me. pin board or the images…i will work on it:)

 

 

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