Category Archives: House of Belonging Shop

now i am a warrior & an instagram giveaway for YOU…

i am dropping the tailgate down…jump up…let’s talk
i’ll share my heart tiffini style…( making no sense..ha!)
then i want to listen to yours…that is what we would do if we were together today..
we’ll start the week off on the deep end and then end it on a lighter note…

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the GIVEAWAY is at the end of the post..i will never know you don’t read a word…xo

i have been working on taking back my life and i am giving it to the One who can put all the pieces together again

i stand before the One who knows all of me
i can hide nothing from Him

pieces of my broken self is dying off so the new me can rise up from the fire

a warrior

i can’t get back the years
i can’t make up for it all by sacrificing myself .. punishing myself

i can’t
i’ve spent so many years trying to make my fairy tale life come true
you know when you grow up without a daddy you seek love from all the wrong places
you can manipulate someone into staying with you so you can create that perfect family with until
one day you wake up in survival mode desperately trying to bail the water out of the lifeboat
but the water is pouring in faster than you can bail it out..there are 5 kids and you
and only 5 life preservers…who is sacrificed today..the water rises even more toxic
i ultimately stayed in a relationship that i thought was giving my kids what i never had but it was a lie..
laying them on the altar and sacrificing them and me while eroding our hearts from the inside out

i can’t change someone else.  i tried
it really comes down to owning my story by changing myself

i am learning that owning the story also means i can write new chapters
i can change the characters
i can create a new plot

i am not powerless
i am not a victim
i am not helpless

all those stories i tell myself about myself are FEARS!!
they are lies that keep me living a life in circles
always going back when i step to far out in to spaciousness and freedom

and you begin to create life preservers..for everyone..but most importantly..yourself

because..ya’ll

i have waited for years for “change”
i have lived years accepting responsibility for stuff that was not mine really believing it was
and this wasn’t the only relationship i do this with
come to find out “taking responsibility for others” is something i do as easily as i breathe”
so i have allowed God room to work in my heart.  to radically change me.  i am a rebel at heart

i always have been i guess
maybe a little david..a little peter
i am learning to submit all of me to Him..to use what is weak
for His glory so that my weakness are saturated in His Power

and in so many ways and on so many levels
what i’m doing “feels” so wrong and i am learning to not live on feelings but in faith
new territory remember?  never been this way before…
but deep in my soul
i believe there are slaves in captivity…in eygpt
that need to be led out of captivity into the promised land

i have decided to be a jesus follower..not a “christian” or a “religious” person
it is time to break the chains
forage a new land
walls are crumbling…His wind words are burning inside hearts
i can feel them blowing all around me as i am taking back my life
in grace and truth

you want to know what i am finding as i am taking back my life?

i was broken and bruised
now
out of the ashes i am burning like a fire

all the pain and the truth
i wear like a battle wound
so ashamed and confused
i am not broken or bruised
now i am a warrior
i have thicker skin

i am a warrior ( you are more than a conqueror )
i am stronger than i’ve ever been ( when i am weak – He is strong = i am God-strong
my honor is made of steel ( i have the armor to put on )
you can’t get in ( because i am surrounded by favor from the one who is fire in the bush )
you can never hurt me (
there is a part of me i can’t get back ( now you are a reborn into a new life )

a little girl grew up to fast
nothing left you can say

cause you were never going to take the blame anyway
it is time to stop waiting ( move forward )
i have seen so many people die in waiting!
they wait their whole life away

leave us alone here in egypt – we’re better off as slaves in egypt than as corpses in the wilderness  exodus 14: 12

going back to what doesn’t work BUT we know it inside and out don’t we?
it is comfortable
it is our safety net..

we take 10 steps in and the ground quakes with approaching giants
a finger pushes hard into our deepest fears
what are we going to do?

we retreat

how hungry are we?

the red sea scene is filled with passion!
God’s people being so afraid!!
but taking God at His word

ought we to do the same?

the above is being a jesus follower…not 60 minutes on sunday
it is living the Word out in everyday real life

it is galations 5:25-25!

Since this is the kind of life we have chosen, the life of the Spirit, let us make sure that we do not just hold it as an idea in our heads or a sentiment in our hearts, but work out its implications in every detail of our lives. That means we will not compare ourselves with each other as if one of us were better and another worse. We have far more interesting things to do with our lives. Each of us is an original

what is engaging 60 minutes a week and then live a life that is no different than the world?
i ask myself these same questions!

the choice can go something like this

are you going to stay sick
or
do you want to be healed and made whole?

abba showed me something last week as i was having a hard morning and i couldn’t put my finger on it.  i left the house for work with a to do list running long in my mind which turned into a heavy weight and hot irritation

and it sends you straight over the edge at one bump

so anyway – i was driving down the road with no radio cause sometimes it it to much noise for my head and i wanted “still”

and here is what i heard

daughter, why are you carrying it?  it is MY WORK
and you are carrying the whole weight of it as if it was YOURS

what? i was momentarily stunned

wouldn’t you know  the first giant i meet is my deepest fear

the bulls eye at the core of my insecurity

BAM!  just like that
so naturally i grab hold of it and start controlling it as if i can…

but God already went before me right?  remember He tells us that
so He put the circle maker and now all in…in my path

not a coincidence btw…

it is helping to connect the dots
i always ask for God to help me understand HOW TO “do” His word
HOW does that look in real life…i so often don’t understand at first

how do i take those pieces of verses and change me…

you too?

so what was i doing?

i started worrying about how i was going to do all of it

there is a whole other part of this story i can’t share of course
suffice it to say
we are in the thick of it and it is coming down to the one question i have feared for years

it is being narrowed down
God and me
though He slay me YET will i praise Him

so i gave it back…and again and again
it is His work
He can handle it
it is way bigger than i could ever dream
so i am circling my jerico
praying for wisdom
trying to bridle my hurt-anger
standing on the promise that

God will fight the battle for me while i am inwardly STILL!!

we can throw the word brave and courage around like candy..much like i’m sorry and i love you

but when the pestle of life relentlessly grounds you round and round…squeezing out all the fear down to the raw meat

it can get bloody real
real quick

what about you?
do you feel like this sometimes too?

are you going to give me a chance to prove myself to you daughter?
love, abba

THIS is my loaded question today..

it’s time to burn the plow
no looking back..no more living there..no more egypt

no more slavery

:::instagram giveaway:::

go to our instagram feed and enter to win our new 24″ x 48″ FIERCE sign!!  instagram post will go live around 6:30 cst..
tell us ONE thing you want to do this summer and the WINNER will be announced in wednesdays post…xoxo

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winner will be announed in wednesday’s post…

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this is worth fighting for & a winner

i needed to be encouraged…and i thought just maybe YOU did too

maybe your THIS is cancer, divorce, rejection, discouragement, depression, loneliness, or something so terrible it shouts but remains unnamed?  whatever is pounding loudly in your mind, your body, your soul, let me…let US be YOUR balcony person today..yes?

let me hug you with my words.  let me wallpaper your soul to mine.  let me encourage you to sing God’s song, and let me remind you that the song in YOU is His idea

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hear me when i say the apostle paul did not lie when he wrote, ” long ago, even before He made the world, God CHOSE .. US! me and you..to be His very own

i’m leaning way, way over your balcony railing; i’m waving my coat above my head, and i’m yelling above the frightening noises of your world, ” i love you!  i believe in you and your abilities!  you can do it!  keep at it!  keep on!!  He’s here beside me..our Abba..and He’s beaming with delight in YOU!  yes, that’s right, He’s here, and He’s not sitting down

YOU are His child, He is your father.  His coat is off too, and we are both in your balcony cheering YOU on together!!
–excerpt from balcony people by joyce heatherley

wasn’t that good?  i want to that kind of  balcony person.  and i need balcony people
i have struggled this week with something and through a song God reminded me that i am standing with an army

that i am not alone
that i just have to look around…and look up
there really are people in my balcony..cheering me on and up
rooting for me

and friend…look around…look up
i’m waving my hoodie for you!!  with tears streaming down my face
i am cheering you on…YOU ARE GOING TO MAKE IT

…xoxo

THIS is Worth Fighting For T is in the SHOP

when nikki & i saw these words we knew we had to create a tshirt
all of the items in the shop are inspired and pulled from our life

here is part of our mission statement i felt led to write one night
i want to make it into a sign for the shop–God’s shop
it is a joy and a gift to do what we do and we are humbled..truly
at your support of our business but more than that..of our hearts
in the words of ann voscamp
all is grace

2014 mission

::::::::

thank you for sharing your adventures with us
it was awesome to read each one!!

the winner of the circle maker book  is kahra!!  number 21!  email me at tiffkilgore@live.com with your address and i will have it mailed right out to you
ps..i wish i could send you tickets to paris too…don’t quit your daydream…layla @letteredcottage

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full of FIRE

 

we took the weekend to finish cleaning up & clearing out the old house.  moving the rest of the stuff into the shop.  moving is exhuastingisn’t it?  the chapter is closing and a grand one is beginning.  i’m scared to death and excited all at the same time!

a silly sidenote: I just realized yesterday that our two new addresses both equal 10!

i don’t know the words to tell you how i am feeling these days so i will share two photos that “kinda” capture it.
i started a new pin board titled .me.  it is sort of a “vision board” to help me get to know me…and what that “looks like”.

here is the first one – i am terrified of heights…and to swim in lakes so this kinda captures that stomach in your throat..eyes closed
freefall

Ah the boat house

this is the other one…

THIS one…to me…captures just a little what it feels like when God’s love and grace POURS down on me
like RAIN!
and the funny thing is i am seeing FIRE all around me!  like in my quiet times with God…FIRE words
my friend speaks a song to me…FIRE
my sign is aries…FIRE
and in Hebrews 12:29 this morning… God Himself is FIRE

i don’t understand it…i just see it…pray it…journal it

it burns inside…lissa said it this way, ” i have FIRE in my belly”  i have known fire in my bones for a long time.  i never knew what to DO with it..or really what it was
now don’t get me wrong…i still don’t KNOW what it is or what to DO with it except

LISTEN to it! 

the unexplainable thing is how His love rain fills the empty places and yet…leaves me wanting more
the fire is burning while the rain simultaneously leaves me screaming Your name abba!!

there are so many things going on in my life right now and honestly…some things fall through the cracks.  some balls drop.
i am focusing on my relationship with God and the business and really just LISTENING and GOING where i feel He is leading
i can’t explain it to you…i don’t understand it

the exodus house
a SHOP that happened in 3 days…literally!!  i have GOT to tell you the story!  it is SO God!
i still laugh like sarah must have laughed thinking of it

but i DO know God is moving
He wants us to LISTEN
the promise of the promised land still stands..we can still enter into it but we must BELIEVE and not doubt
there is the letting go…the taking a RISK!

speaking of RISKS!  i am so far out here girls….so FAR
several times a day myself asks myself ” WHAT in the world are you doing?!

but you know what?  the material things can be nice but i am keenly aware that they are GIFTS and meant to be enjoyed
i am still learning to enjoy good gifts from my abba!!
but not worshipped or the means to an end
the BEST thing ever is getting to know God more…and deeper
and taking His hand and going on a GRAND ADVENTURE ..WITH Him

we will go on together girls…i don’t know where we will end up
it could all fall apart in the end…that is what the LIES tell me everyday but the TRUTH is
it could end up to be the most amazing comeback story…EVER!!
God has this one…i believe that!  God is above ALL things…yes yes and yes!!

it’s better than sex!  i know…GASP!  the S word…i’m 45..i’m over that…ha!
just sayin!

my season of life and circumstances maybe different than yours.  my kids are grown for the most part.  i still have grace who is 14 but i don’t have little ones anymore so i have more freedom than i did when i was a mom of young ones

my fingers are cracked and bleeding from work.. stain and paint under my nails everyday
my hair is thrown up into a messy ponytail or bun
mu daily attire is paint clothes
not much time to go out on the town getting all dolled up
my laundry is in piles
boxes are still strewn all over the house waiting for be put away

I USED to believe God just came in and did the rescuing
now i KNOW it takes hard work on my part…PRAYING hard and long…for years sometimes.
at the same time .. when it is GOD’s TIME…things are effortless.  they just HAPPEN!
you see Him everywhere!!  HIS PART…it blows my mind!!

the SHOP is in full force and is fast becoming our second home

the days are FULL
my heart is on FIRE

and i don’t know much or do many things well
but the ONE thing i am hearing and responding too is to let God LIVE FREE within my LIFE
i am deconstructing false constructs (LIES) i have been taught
and rebuilding from the ground up!!

it really hit home when i was asked to fill out a page telling about ME and i couldn’t answer hardly a one of them!

i don’t know WHO i am…no wonder i was whatever to whoever!! 

it is so much more than an exodus house..it is my exodus
i am making a commitment to share more often about that here..everyday or two.  so many many of you have prayed through with me
and supported me with you words and i can’t thank you enough!  i wish we could sit together over coffee and just talk
for hours!  you have asked about a home tour and i promise i will be sharing all of that so very soon.  just taking a little time to get
things in their place!!

we just added our first POSTER to the SHOP!  ( link on the sidebar ) it is printed on a high quality archival paper and is SUPER nice

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so i will leave you with these words for monday
fill in the blank with YOUR name!!

___________ LIVE COURAGEOUS

love LOVE love to each of you today!!!!

**i am having trouble with linking and images…just something weird going on with my computer…so i couldn’t link to lissa, the shop, my .me. pin board or the images…i will work on it:)

 

 

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big news…t-shirts are in the shop!

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ok..BIG NEWS!  t-shirts have arrived in the SHOP!  what do you think?

yay!!! we are excited!! this is just the beginning.  we will be adding more in the coming weeks PLUS stay close because some of my blog friends will be sharing their shirts in the coming weeks too–we will have some fun giveaways or something.  FYI –  we have more GOLD designs coming too…yay again!!!

you can find them all in the SHOP

i am excited to share my YES news with YOU! but  the words won’t come out right …  it is to BIG!  only God.  not even humanly possible.  i had no resources to make this happen.  on instagram i shared this picture of how my heart is feeling right now…

source

have a super duper monday!…be adventurous today…take at least one RISK and if you do .. come back and let me know what it was…xo

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stop trusting fear…

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“if we dwell on all the things that could go wrong, we’ll be to afraid to take another step”

ruth had lived in fear all during the months of mahlons illness, and it had accomplished nothing…after mahlon’s death, she decided she would never again allow her mind to dwell on things beyond her control

I started my photography business back in September of 2013 and it has pushed me out of my comfort zone like nothing else. I think sometimes you just have to take a leap of faith. The past has proven me to be a slow and steady kind of girl, taking few risks, and therefore, not really changing or growing much in any way. I think I’ve unknowingly preferred the safety of the nest rather than taking the risk of testing my wings. I suppose I figured there was no failure in the same ol’ same ol’. After awhile the “same ol’” started to feel rather boring and I felt this yearning like I was made for something more yet I just sat here inside the same four walls. The ugly truth is that I doubted God’s plan for me figuring that I had it wrong and there wasn’t something “extra special” planned for me. I actually reserved myself to accepting my role as wife and mom, choosing to be content with just that. But still that little tickle in my soul… this tiny seedling of hope that if I jumped out of the nest God would teach me to fly.

i know some of her words.  i have lived them.  God has been using her risk taking steps to fly to encourage my heart!   as a little girl all i wanted was to have a family.  to get married and have babies.  to be a mom and wife was the pinnacle of  “how it was supposed to be”in my mind.  and i made sure it happened.  it still amazes me the power of the human will to orchestrate a life that we think is safe.  i put all i was and all i knew into those roles.

what i learned was if you throw all of yourself into someone else..or something else
YOU get lost
years go by and if we’re not careful .. we wake up one day old and full of regret
i don’t want to choose that.  to settle for that

i used to think that the passions i had were meant to be hidden
that when i could do something good … i felt guilty
good things didn’t really happen to me and if they did i felt guilty because so many others were struggling

i didn’t give myself permission to shine.  it seemed nonspiritual to me
prideful even?
i am passionate about truth..trust..my relationship with God in all of its messy growth
i fight hard for my convictions and often my impetuousness gets me into hot water
what i didn’t know then that i am understanding more now is that
abba has provided me with circumstances to teach me how to use the gifts He has placed within me
that i need to stop living trusting fear and start putting actions to trusting God..in real life..not daydreams
within my days.  doing something tangible..you know?

i always felt that passion was weird somehow
like i never quite fit in but i am learning that to grow..to move forward i must let go off all these lies
and say yes to what God has before me

to take risks that make me feel uncomfortable and make me want to run the other way
but i haven’t
not yet
i have days that just bomb..maybe consecutive days even
the difference is i choose to get back up.  i must!

i can’t explain it but i am curious to take God at His word this time
i wonder if it is providence.  His timing
for all i know all of the years before have led up to this moment
the hard part for me is waiting.  waiting for that right time
letting the story unfold a wee bit more
i have learned that God isn’t going to light a bush on fire for me saying

tiff – this is exactly what you are to do..and here is how you are to do iti do see feel His heat upon my heart

my normal has always been fear living
but i know now that is not living

like ruth..i have learned that living in fear and dwelling on things i cannot control accomplishes nothing
and like the old fan we replaced with a new gold sparkly light

is kinda how i see the fresh new growth in my life
a new direction and it is spilling out into every area of my life
it isn’t the absence of hard though…or pain

it is like the turning of the seasons..new growth springing up while simultaneously the old
shrivels up and fades

so instead of dwelling on things i cannot control
or feeling stuck believing lies

i am letting go and allowing life to move me as the Spirit moves
one thing i am making a habit of is

taking risks
since we closed the shop several months ago while i recovering from surgery
i had time to really hear God and it was during this time that for lack of a better word the vision for
the new signs came into being

we are taking the next risky step and making everything more cohesive
here on the blog..in our home
i have started a new pin board called my exodus home
more on this in the coming weeks…

i want where i am the things i am being taught to have the same feel 
as what we create

i have been praying for sometime for a new direction with our signs..to set ourselves apart a little
to find our own niche
and i hope you will find that in the coming months as we
show our hearts to you

through our t-shirts – mugs – bags and paper-goods

that they will inspire YOU to take those risks
to not live in FEAR so much
to see YOUR dreams that God placed in your heart years ago
begin to GROW

all of these things will slowly be added in the coming months
the t-shirts will begin to be added to the shop next week so stay tuned to instagram for the first peeks

when we find that what we have been doing isn’t working and we are seeing the same results
it is time to do something different.
just like the old fan.  it had served its purpose but it was in need of an update
a fresh look

the strands of crystals catch the light and together cast a pattern of  dots across the room
bathing the room in captivating sparkles

let this sign..these words be the centerpiece for you little girls nursery.  can be used for years to come!

each one of us is like a crystal.  a unique blending of gifts, personality, quirks and history –that when strung together cast a light so bright it captivates those looking on
and i don’t know about YOU but i want to shine not only for my good but for all those looking to find their way
bring glory to God..really it is releasing those in prisons of fear, shame, guilt by us being released..it is these things that
give God glory!

how about YOU?  in what ways have you seen that living in fear has accomplished nothing?  maybe this weekend spend
some time thinking on what it would look like if you just took the next step..you know the one?  the one that you can’t take because you have been paralyzed with fear?  this isn’t about anyone else’s story.  it is between YOU and God

abba..we thank you that we have a God who is not made of wood stone or any man made substance.  You are a God who created the whole world..and yet..you have gone to unfathomable measures to have a relationship with us.  we thank you for the circumstances we find ourselves in today for they are our teachers.  only You can take to our eyes what is ugly and useless and turn it into something of beauty.  we thank you for your grace that looks at us in our own nakedness and loves us clean through.  so i come this morning with the only thing of value i have…my trust.  here abba…there is no one on heaven or earth that i can come to..that hears me like You do
so abba i pray in the midst of my life…and the lives of my friends who you know even now .. those reading..those who like me find ourselves reckless in our love for you.  we know how frail we are in our human form but we long to see freedom…we long to see You revive Your work in the midst of our years…in my 45th year abba REVIVE Your work…it isn’t to late!
you want what is good for us .. your plans for us are good..to prosper us in all kinds of ways but also
You want glory..help us to not cause harm to others by our words and actions
to SHINE for you..to be like the women of faith before us…ruth, rahab, tamar…may their hearts that burned for YOU burn within us today…
in jesus name

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