you belong here…and a winner

if homes reflect the heart of the person living there …
room after rooms of clutter
no real sense of order and balance
not much having a “real” place

and the home doesn’t belong to me
in 44 years i have never owned my own home.  ever

not a big deal really but it is to me
growing up we never really had a home= a safe haven..a place to just BE.  and life was always full of drama and chaos
so i thought that was normal.  that i was like my family.  so it was only natural when i married at 16 that i did a lot of the same things.

fast forward.  i am being awakened.  slowly as if in a long dream.

while my house is a mirror of my heart
and my story is not a picture perfect creative space like so much we see on pinterest
i have been given the gift of opening my heart to the only ONE who longs to make me whole
who can take glass broken into a million tiny pieces and put it back together.  piece by piece

in my little reprieve the last year in a half i know there is “stuff” that i need to allow God to take and touch
and they are some raw places..
there is so much more to re-boot but we have started.  with baby steps.  and that is so often all each of us can do.  one step

so this morning after seeing safe haven with the girls last night and while her story is somewhat different than mine
there again i was caught looking in a mirror.  staying in something where the very life is sucked out of you
you can make excuses. defend. play the part to a t.
you stay even though you silently scream to be out but it is a scary thing to leave something that is known for the unknown
again God is taking my hand and we are taking one step at a time.  and it doesn’t look like what i thought it would look like
or
what someone else’s story may look like either.  it is our story.  His and mine.  and i am ok with that.

He is leading me to my place of belonging.  i can feel it deep in my bones.  i always knew He would.  His love never quits on me
He is showing me He is trustworthy.  He is my safe haven.  He has a place for me on up ahead.  not that i don’t belong in the here and now

but my whole being sobs with the thought to finally…one daybe free.  being free means many things to many people.  i know what it will mean to me.
to be where i belong.  there has been an awakening in my soul this
last year and a half with creating.  i am uncovering a gift….and i can’t wait to take the next step.

so while my creative space doesn’t look like this…yet
it is being birthed in my heart as we speak and will…one day reflect my true identity in Christ
an exquisitely beautiful messy heart…a wounded warrior who can feel for others with compassion because i too..
have been there.

and the winner of our ridiculously amazefest GIVEaway is my friend Sasha! can you believe it girl???
email me will ya?….wink and we will discuss

if you are in the midst of your journey and you can’t see the next step…know know know that nothing is impossible with God
and while i know it is so hard to trust Him when things have gone wrong 57 times…it is that 58th time that will blow your mind
cause one thing i have learned…well kinda…:) is that so often other people and places have to be in place for the right time for everything
to go down.  God is never late….i love you all with a deep love.  thank you for loving on me.

xotiff

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Alicia @ La Famille - Your last paragraph????? I just tattooed it to my face.

No really, I needed to hear that right this very moment.

We are in the midst of a journey and we really need some answers soon. We’ve had options #45, #46, #47…and still waiting to see what we’ll do. Right this minute we’re waiting to see if #48 will be the one that works…our answer to our pleas. Thank you for reminding me that His timing is perfect. It’s so hard, but so worth the wait, I know.

xo

becky - Saw it tonight. Love that He is our Safe Haven. His timing is perfection. It just is.

tara - friend…I needed this today.
You know…God gave me the word ACTION for 2013, and it is showing up every.single.day. in my heart. He is pushing me (gently and kindly) to walk in the freedom that he has given me. I’ve been looking at the freedom…talking about it…but not walking in it.

I’ve been locked up in a prison from something I went through as a child….and God wants me to walk out. He has loosened the chains and he wants me to take them off.

This is the hardest part because it’s something I have to take hold of….I have to choose to obey him and take hold of the freedom!!!!

I’m praying for you…it has been an amazing 18 months with you and the Lord….He has awakened your soul…he has poured his truth into you…he has saturated your heart with his love for you….praying this morning that you will walk in it.

Sarita - Sometimes all you can say is amen and amen!

DeNise - Thanks so much for sharing this. You don’t know how much I needed this at this time in my life. Thank you.

Jackie - I admire your courage, Tiffany. It is so hard to step out into the unknown and to make changes to things that have become our default even when we know that they are unhealthy. Yet it is in this vulnerability and trusting that God can prove himself faithful. And He does. It is exciting to step His dream in you being birthed. I’m happy that I can follow along on the journey.

Lemonade Makin' Mama - Oh my gosh… I just opened this email and it was like you wrote it for ME… it was just what I needed to hear at this exact moment and then I see that I also won this crazy fun giveaway too? It overwhelmed me. Thank you my friend, for not only writing from you heart, which blessed me, but for also offering such a fun giveaway… I am so beyond excited to have won. I can hardly contain it. LOVE!!!

terri - tif~thanks so much for opening up to all of your readers and sharing your true heartfelt self! i love your honesty and openess and love that you are just a super sweet inspiration to all of us out here in blog land. big hugs, ~terri

susan@avintagefarmwife - This was beautiful. Just beautiful.

Deborah Carlson - We belong to Him…as simple as that, as beautiful as that.
We are His very own treasure…its too big to wrap our mind around it, so we just let Him wrap Himeslf around our hearts. I love what He’s doing in you and through you.
I haven’t seen that movie..but I’ve seen bits of it advertised…must go!
Love & hugs to you sweet lady xo

All my heart,
Deborah xoxo

Suzanne - Those words
“when i married at 16″
surely speak to
what a journey you
have been on, sweet
friend. Talk about
the impact of timing.

Your faith that you
are on God’s timetable
is so admirable and
inspiring…..!

Congrats to Sasha.

xo Suzanne

Flower Patch Farmgirl - I am deeply in love with your curtains. Also, I just hung my CW swag this weekend. It is deliciously wonderful in every way. You rock so hard!!

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