if homes reflect the heart of the person living there …
room after rooms of clutter
no real sense of order and balance
not much having a “real” place
and the home doesn’t belong to me
in 44 years i have never owned my own home. ever
not a big deal really but it is to me
growing up we never really had a home= a safe haven..a place to just BE. and life was always full of drama and chaos
so i thought that was normal. that i was like my family. so it was only natural when i married at 16 that i did a lot of the same things.
fast forward. i am being awakened. slowly as if in a long dream.
while my house is a mirror of my heart
and my story is not a picture perfect creative space like so much we see on pinterest
i have been given the gift of opening my heart to the only ONE who longs to make me whole
who can take glass broken into a million tiny pieces and put it back together. piece by piece
in my little reprieve the last year in a half i know there is “stuff” that i need to allow God to take and touch
and they are some raw places..
there is so much more to re-boot but we have started. with baby steps. and that is so often all each of us can do. one step
so this morning after seeing safe haven with the girls last night and while her story is somewhat different than mine
there again i was caught looking in a mirror. staying in something where the very life is sucked out of you
you can make excuses. defend. play the part to a t.
you stay even though you silently scream to be out but it is a scary thing to leave something that is known for the unknown
again God is taking my hand and we are taking one step at a time. and it doesn’t look like what i thought it would look like
what someone else’s story may look like either. it is our story. His and mine. and i am ok with that.
He is leading me to my place of belonging. i can feel it deep in my bones. i always knew He would. His love never quits on me
He is showing me He is trustworthy. He is my safe haven. He has a place for me on up ahead. not that i don’t belong in the here and now
but my whole being sobs with the thought to finally…one day…be free. being free means many things to many people. i know what it will mean to me.
to be where i belong. there has been an awakening in my soul this
last year and a half with creating. i am uncovering a gift….and i can’t wait to take the next step.
so while my creative space doesn’t look like this…yet
it is being birthed in my heart as we speak and will…one day reflect my true identity in Christ
an exquisitely beautiful messy heart…a wounded warrior who can feel for others with compassion because i too..
have been there.
and the winner of our ridiculously amazefest GIVEaway is my friend Sasha! can you believe it girl???
email me will ya?….wink and we will discuss
if you are in the midst of your journey and you can’t see the next step…know know know that nothing is impossible with God
and while i know it is so hard to trust Him when things have gone wrong 57 times…it is that 58th time that will blow your mind
cause one thing i have learned…well kinda…:) is that so often other people and places have to be in place for the right time for everything
to go down. God is never late….i love you all with a deep love. thank you for loving on me.
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