re-booting this family…an invitation


re-booting this family

when i make my heart available to him..leaving it wide open he is able to work his way in and draw me tenderly into his arms it then begs the question —- what does that LOOK like…how is that carried out in the flesh…inside my circumstances..this is where i have spent the last three years…learning relationship rather than doing religion.
Jesus is not a product
that will make life perfect,
He’s a living being that 
wants a relationship and 
relationships are hard.
-Don Miller

am i willing to change and grow when i push up against pain?

RE-BOOTING is more than organizing my clutter…it is digging deep into the clutter of my heart and taking his hand as i do.  i’ve always been drawn to look back at my story..much like a nagging wife …this deep urge to know more of him and be known by him has compelled me much of my life.

i can’t explain it.  i don’t understand it but one thing i am doing is opening myself up to it.  why?

re-boot this family

because i am beginning to believe that to know more of my abba and for me to be known by Him there will be pain but it is in that pain that he meets me and does his healing work. so that in turn i can be ready when he calls to take another’s hand and join them in their journey.  their story.

RE-BOOTING today is an invitation.  to step out of religion and into relationships.  

to step out of the routine rigidity of ritualistic checklists of the modern day American church and into the biggest story being written.  American life.  it is letting down my judgemental thoughts that my sin is different than anyone else’s and accepting the invitation to walk among the crowds.  it is in a way…an invitation to freedom.

there is a battlefield out there.  it is the unknown.  frightening i know.  there will be pain and mess and ugly for sure.  but i feel so compelled to be there.  i don’t know how he will be able to use me in that yet.  i don’t.  all i know is i can be available and pray and then listen and watch.

re-boot this family

he answers in ways we don’t expect doesn’t he?

how can we close our eyes and ears to the cry of the orphan and widow?
they don’t all look like the poster child for compassion.  they come in all shapes and sizes and their stories are all different
but they all have a common denominator — they have a hole in their heart to know and be known.

and who will tell them that if we aren’t willing to lay our hearts out there with courageous vulnerability – risk being hurt.  

real life isnot everyone’s story ends happy.  not everyone is healed.  not every marriage is saved.  people die, get sick, lose jobs, cheat, lie and refuse to hear and stay in the same vicious cycle of dysfunction their whole lives.  some stay in the hope God will rescue and change and i have seen them die… sick in their own mess of abuse that if they would have had someone help them walk out..given them tools and they themselves been willing to open up to the pain of learning how to walk differently their lives would have been very different.

re-boot this family

this is where i walk.  15 years of the same cycle opened my eyes to a choice.  i could either walk the same way i’d always walked and that generationally i was pre-programmed to walk OR
i could choose to learn to walk differently.

while psych books would tell me i have learned helplessness
God tells me that Ephesians

i watched chasing mavericks yesterday and frosty ( the mentor surfer dude ) said this to jay ( the student surfer dude)

jay had panicked under the water while diving and seeing a 15 ft shark..when they got back on the boat frosty asked him what happened down there and jay said he panicked.

frosty said fear and panic are two separate emotions.

fear is healthy
panic is deadly

it is how you “surf’”when everything goes wrong

that reminded me of life.  hurt, betrayal, pain…is all going to be there as a normal part of life but it is how we handle those emotions when faced with them that makes all the difference in our stories.

it is what we do with the fear when it comes when everything is going wrong…

Re-boot this family

i am beginning to.  just the tip of the iceberg
RE-BOOTING this week has been all about the internal.
mapping out my heart a bit.

really listening and looking for an invitation

 and yes…a little bit of cleaning out the basement is happening too:)…happy saturday

***all photos are taken by Nikki:)







Glenda Childers - Keep up the good work, take lots of breaks … I praying for you as you respond to the invitation.


susan - It sounds like you are having success with your reboot thus far! Your words are so helpful to me. Thank you. I would love to hear your views on the Christian church in our country right now. My family is struggling with this a bit. We recently left a church we had been members of for about 7 years. We are feeling bored and empty. We struggle with discovering if this is our fault, or the fault of the church and its leaders – probably both. As you reboot, I would love to hear about what spiritual things fill you and your family. Blessings and prayers to you on your journey. Susan

tara - I’m having a re-boot of sorts, too.
He is pushing in on me with my word for the year…ACTION. He’s always gentle, but still, he’s pushing. I’m gladly walking with him on the journey….freedom tastes too good not to.
praying for you.

Alicia @ La Famille - it’s only 8:14am and your’s is the second blog i’ve read today about our behavior in the hard times and Go’d UNexpected answers. i have been angry at God lately…wondering if He can do anything, why He wouldn’t just ANSWER me when i feel so helpless and afraid right now. i don’t feel bad about the way i’ve felt because i do know that He does desire that relationship and yes, relationships are HARD!

thank you for your words today. i think this RE BOOT is a great idea. so glad i found you. i’m excited to see how God works in your life this year…

terri - happy saturday, doll! i just had this conversation w/one of my very best friends this morning….about finding happiness and just being content and staying in a situation or choosing to move away and forward…..such difficult choices, but i truly believe god sends us the things that we need at the specific time we need them. sometimes the choices we make are the hardest, but i believe with strength and prayer and love we can forge through anything :)
here’s to your re-boot and finding love and peace in ALL that you do!
enjoy your weekend! xoxo

sheri - awesome post sweet friend – and super cute little juice glasses ;)

Mary - miss Tiff…you know I love you and i am honored to be a part of this beautiful, messy, hard, yet necessary journey that you(and we all) are on.
your heart bleeds your love for Jesus and your deep desire to truly KNOW him.
i think of you often, don’t pray for you as much as i should, but i am learning and growing right along side of you, too.
we’ve never met, but we’re sisters at heart and He is the tie that binds. love that!!!
i pray to meet you someday…but until then, soul sisters we will remain.
YOU are a blessing! such a wonderful blessing.
i will pray for you today and i am committing to be better about that when God brings any of my dear friends to mind.

Suzanne - Happy Saturday.
You are doing the
hard work and that
is really something.
Walk in the crowds
with your head held
high, sweet friend!

xo Suzanne

marie - I love your blog, the look, your words, everything. I too believe fear is healthy if it pushes us to where we need to go. Being scared is useless, I don’t like that emotion, but a healthy dose of fear can ignite just the flame we need to take action.

I haven’t seen that movie but I plan to. My husband is big on surfing and loved it.

chrissie grace - You speak my language.
Thank you for the constant inspiration!!

DeNise - God is using you. Right here, on this blog. You have touched me today. Thank you.

susan@avintagefarmwife - I loved what you said about having a choice to keep walking the way you were “generationally programmed” to walk or to choose a different path. May I use this wisdom at our meeting of push on Monday? Thanks, friend. Keep doing the hard stuff and sharing it with the rest of us. We are benefiting as well.

Heidi L. - your authentic voice is simple refreshing.
so very happy i found my way here via ‘Life Made Lovely’ today and had time to stick around a while to get to know you and a bit of your story.

i KNOW that your desire to draw near to the life-giver will be rewarded. {james 4:8, hebrews 11:6} stay open, keep seeking and knocking. {matt: 7:}

the opening of your post echos one of my own from not so long ago as well:

be blessed & carry on dear sister.

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