what do you do with the worry of *getting older*

While on the treadmill the other day..huffing & puffing..asking myself why I am doing this..since turning 40 I’ve had to work at it with regular exercise & watching what I eat.  My skin is looser from having 5 babies, wrinkles are surfacing, aches & pains where there weren’t any just 10 years ago, night sweats replace ‘late nights’ and looking at myself naked…let’s face it.  It just ain’t the same!  We all do it.  Stand in front of the mirror and do a once over and more often than not bemoan the way we look.  Am I right?

I think we all struggle with this in some way whether we are skinny or over weight?  It is a heart issue.

As we age we might worry a wee bit more about whether or not we’re desirable.  And what in the world does that mean today anyway?

Guess it depends by who’s standard we hold ourselves up to?   Does my husband still find my lines, extra 10 lbs, sagging skin and boobs still desirable , or if we were to begin dating again.. at my age.. do men really look at a woman’s heart containing her values, morals, goals, dreams & passions or do they look

::

at only what the naked eye can see?  and what does that mean to me?  to us as women?

The divorce rate and adultery rates tell me that it is more than just what one looks like right?

for me, as a woman of faith, the bible tells me ( my paraphrase )

don’t just pay attention to what you look like on the outside
make  yourself attractive by the good things you do..beauty fades but the inner woman – she
grows more and more beautiful.  The heart overflows through the eyes…the ugly & pretty

the TV..magazines..Internet.. pummels us with negative marketing that sex appeal is what is desirable.  It seeks to make us buy into what we are supposed to think { who are we to allow media to think for us? } we are to look/be like…instead of *who* we need to be becoming.  It works doesn’t it?

your not skinny enough instead of focusing on fitness for your body type
your boobs aren’t the right shape, neither is your butt
your hair is not the right color or length
you don’t wear the right clothes..you don’t smell right and you don’t chew the
right gum to make your teeth white enough..you get the idea:)

It is an internal tug of war for sure.  Each one of us have to fight not to settle for something that fades.

I’m just curious …
have you settled and saying…this is as good as it gets..oh well, why not?
or
are you fighting to hold onto something that is slipping away..changing.  Maybe you’ve gone to extremes and would
like to feel more balanced in your approach to aging.
or
how do you handle these thoughts when they enter your mind?
 

more to come …

 

~xo – tgbg

28.   made two phone calls

 

 

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Stuff and Nonsense - excellent encouragement

on an issue every woman faces

at some point in our lives

as for me

i have only two more months

before 40 befalls me

and i have watched

my body change through the years of

bearing and breastfeeding 4 children

gaining and losing weight

silver threads weaving themselves into my tresses

and the general pull of

gravity

but i am thankful for a wonderful husband

who loves me not in spite of my wrinkles and bumps

but because of who i am with them

inside and out

i try to be grateful for that measure of blessing

every day.

alison

hershey's moma - What do I do with the worry? Smile more. I know. Our society is so hard on us if we allow them to be. Right?

kerrie - I try to see myself as He sees me. I receive His words that whisper into my heart and tell me I am beautiful, loved, wanted, desired, worthy, and that I matter to Him.

and…I try to remember that it is the inward beauty that matters most. I have become more quiet now that I am older(I will be 45 on Nov.11th). I am trying to be more modest.(I was raised in the 70's by an immodest mom who still to this day puts too much attention on outward appearance and style) I am trying to live my age. Lowliness and kindness are in my heart. Slowing down helps. Not looking through the fashion magazines helps too. BTW you are beautiful inside and out.

Suzanne - Girl, you are gorgeous and

not just the outer you; you

have an inner beauty that

just shines through your words.

I am guessing that I am older

than you, and this is the wisdom

that I have to share. Don't try

to compare yourself to those

who are younger. Don't try to

turn back the clock {you can't}.

Just try to be the BEST 40-something

that you can be. That is my

philosophy. No comparing, just

focusing on what is lovely, kind

and good. I have younger friends

and I have older friends. The common

thread is a SPIRIT that is open to

trying new things and to appreciating

all that is beautiful in our world.

Strangely enough, wrinkles, gray

hair, loose skin, etc. etc. rarely come

up in our conversations. Maybe I

just pick the right friends : ) Not

that I don't have all the same thoughts

that you express here. I do. But

it's what we choose to do with them,

right? We can't wallow. We have to

focus our lens outward and be thankful

for all of the wonderful things that

come with age: wisdom, confidence,

ease in our own skin, gratitude….

xx Suzanne

Robyn Q - Look at you! Always tackling the real & genuine battles. This I love about you.

I for sure struggle desiring outward beauty, but I am learning as a beauty hunter, I can see beauty fuller, deeper, and in more ways than ever before. So I am learning to take hold of the present and celebrate. Of the earth I find the aged, carved, ripped, torn, & strong among the MOST BEAUTIFUL.

Anna - glad you were able to get the links fixed- no apologies. Wanted you to know so you could fix it! hope youre having a great weekend! (I see you have a Grace too! Ive only had mine for a little over a year.)

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