Living life in monotone. That pretty much sums it up my life in four little words. The choices I’ve made so young in life have impacted where I find myself at in midlife. I don’t think I’m that much different than anybody else..not really.
What makes you come alive? Have you spent your whole life doing a job that you don’t like? Maybe just being a human being and not knowing what you are really supposed to do with this “time” you’ve been given. Whatever the case…it leaves you feeling empty..and not just empty but angry even? and you just thought that is what you were. We’ve given up that this is the way it is meant to be.
Until that moment in time that only God knows aligns….and everything as you knew it..even yourself blurs and you are left bereft.. forced even…not sure where you are or even who you are. Washed ashore on a abandoned island….left to build..to survive. But this time it is different. It is you and you alone that get to choose what you will put in and what you will not.
::I am left wondering today if all of the choices I’ve made were for this very purpose::
to lead me to who I was meant to be.
I am going to whisper it in your ear…ready? I’m a creator.
I have NO idea what that even means … yet. Since I was 16 I’ve been a wife and a mom. Pouring out my life.. into theirs.
Now - I’m excavating ME on an island and have begun to choose what I will put into my life and what I won’t.
and I am finding my heart beats a little faster..and the hand of grace holds mine as I apply pressure to the shovel and sink it deep into the soul soil.
and I laugh..a Sarah kinda laugh. Really? maybe He is doing something in my days that even if He told me I wouldn’t believe Him…maybe we are never to old for God to do something new with us.
grace & peace~tgbg