fear of people

the phone rings…heart races..gloom & doom feelings..panic and I can’t answer it
the doorbell rings and dread.  Sick feelings.  I can’t talk right now.  I don’t answer it.

This is my life @ times.  Fear of people.  A phobia.  I don’t know.  I am a

loner..maybe.  I like my alone time.  I need it.   I also love people.  So why am I scared of them?   I often look at those extroverts and silently mourn that I am not more like that.  I don’t want to be someone other than ME but I DO want to be more open to people and not so fearful. 

Here is a short post from Donald Miller called Leaders Lead People Through Fear that I read last night that really encouraged me to stop and take time to look at where my life is at right now and perhaps ALL of the circumstances going on right this very minute are all new characters in the new story line of my life.  

For now – I am looking at the doorbells and phone calls and strangers around me in my daily life as practice..little lessons wrapped in flesh sent to gently let me learn that I will not die when engaging in talking to people.

::they can’t hurt me..really
::that I don’t have to be a prisoner of these fear feelings for the rest of my life.
::I can do it even though I’m afraid.

I will get back to you and let you know how it is going:) 

do people scare you?  if so, what do you do that helps you?
Maybe it will encourage you as well.  Happy Weekending:)

Mrs.B - You aren't alone. I think lots of people have these fears on some level.

Janet - Hi -

I never answer the doorbell when I'm alone, except if I expect something from UPS – I have arranged it so that the phone virtually never rings, because I have always disliked talking on the phone – but also have the feeling that you sometimes have, that the phone ringing brings feelings of "gloom and doom". We have received bad news about relatives and people I care about via the phone last year, so I know that this has a LOT to do with my phone phobia.

I also tend to isolate a lot, which I have to keep an eye on, because I can live the life of a hermit if I go too far. I'm married, so I do live with someone, but I am involuntarily unemployed, so I am alone all day (everyone in my neighborhood works outside the home.)

I plan on volunteering for a soup kitchen for the homeless this fall, because I was a social worker in my other life (I know, it's very ironic…) and I would like to get back to being a "participant in the world", as I call it. My isolation has brought some gifts with it, but enough, already!

I hope you find healing of your fears very soon.

Eileen - Tiffini, I know you read my post awhile back about a season in my life when I lived with this sort of fear. When I was in recovery, I learned the benefits of stepping out of my comfort zone and confronting the uncomfortable. Usually, our fears are so much worse in our heads and they never play out as badly as we envision them going. And even if they are painful…we survive! Praying God will give you courage, strength and direction!

Paula - We think that we are "in touch" with the internet. We ARE NOT!!!

I am just like that!! Hiding at home, we are more alike than we thought!! I force myself to go to the grocery store but having a child still at home helps. Thank goodness for our kids that still help us stay connected to the outside world!!



jeana - I'm with you on this! I always try to justify telling myself I'm just not a phone person. I know the truth is that I cringe when it rings. I'm the same with the door, or when we're invited somewhere! I really need to work on this, not quite sure how, but know with God it can be done. Thank you.

Robyn Q - If I knocked on your door I sure hope you would open even with rollers in your hair! :) In all seriousness, I think emotional healing can bring us to a place where we dread interaction with people. I have found, like physical therapy to a broken body, safe & healthy interaction with people is the very soil in which the new life forms in. It's not always easy but the more vulnerable we are the stronger we become. Have you read Bo's Cafe? A must read. Donald Miller is great too. I love how he supports the need for community. Blessings neighbor!

Tara Lowry - I'm one of those extroverts that you were talking about…BUT, even us extroverts crave alone time. :)

there are other fears that creep into my heart/mind…so, I'd say you're not alone at all…everyone has some kind of fear that entangles them at one point or another.

tami - There are the two me's. The public me who(mostly while at my job) who is poised and professional and then there is the private me, who is a recluse and who hides and doesn't want to answer the door. I would rather speak in front of a crowd than go to a party. I am much better with a script than a conversation. I am trying to be better. It seems to get worse as I am older?? Faith and fear cannot exist together is my mantra. :-)

Glenda Childers - Tiffini,

Have you read the book "Introvert Advantage." I bet you would love it.

All the introverts in my family like it.



maria b. - No, people do not scare me, but I would like sometime for them not to speak to me so often. I am an extrovert, so I tend to attract them. In fact, I have to stop answering the phone and stop going out in order to get some quiet time.

Just take it slow and allow them to come in a bit a time.


Amy Sullivan - I would have never, never guessed this about you? Why? You seem so people centered…just the way you interact in this space. One of my closest friends had this fear. I didn't know it for years. Didn't know the struggle it was for her to do even the little things at times like order a pizza.

Am I ever afraid of people? No, but I do need space, and when I'm not in a good place, I can't fake it so I would rather just be alone and not have to face my world. So then I hibernate, and sometimes that can be for a long time.

Thanks for sharing yoru heart, always.

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