Monthly Archives: June 2011

Day 18 of 72 : taking time



“Sometimes I think that we waste our words, we waste our moments
and we don’t take the time to say the things that are in our hearts when we have the chance.”

 

from the bottom of my heart

a depth I cannot even speak words to..

thank you..I thank God for each one of you that He has handpicked for

us to walk together.

I can’t even tell you how He brings you to my mind..that I have friends all

over.  That when I have a need you are there.  It is a dear gift and one I am mindful of

everyday.

Always know I am an email away and I surely would never mind to pray for you

or just talk.

Praying He lay His hand of blessing on your head
and know He is ever before and behind and on either side of you.

With the warmth and water and not as many time restraints it is funny how

we find ourselves with even less time.  I know I am.  I am enjoying the last summer

and I SO miss getting by each of your

places...I feel guilty because I want everyone of you to know I care.

**Nikki is busy working on the blog so I am sorry for all of the changes.  I really want to

find “me” and leave it for awhile.  We are off tonight to beauty hunt for pictures for the header..

wish us luck:)

 

walking with you~

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Day 17 of 72 : three letter word

Everyone who believes in Him is freed from all guilt and declared right with God.

Acts 13:39

the little three letter word.  all. what if I trusted that three little word and then lived the rest of my life in that truth?

Do you think my life would be different?

You see – 18 or so years ago I made a choice that forever changed my life and the lives of my children.

A choice that was so opposite who I was up until that moment.  She had died.  My whole world came crashing down and I didn’t

have one to hold onto.  I didn’t know Jesus enough to hold onto to Him at that time

and I have been carrying that guilt around with me all of these years. Until today.

Father – I just bend my knee to You today and thank you that you have already taken the guilt away.  I have keep myself tangled in it.

I have allowed myself to be treated certain ways, lived in ways and punished myself for that choice all of these years.  And while some

can try to make me feel guilty or manipulate me with it – the truth is I am set free.  I’ve confessed and repented not from its consequesnces but from the choice itself.

From this day forward I can live in perfect peace and when those feelings come I can just throw them away because they are not from You.

 

Fill my empty places today with Your beauty. Thank you that my mind can rest in perfect peace when I choose to trust in You.  I am choosing to be still and trust that you are the voice in the middle of this storm and you have a way and in Your timing I will know which way to walk because You will tell me.  And I love this verse..” because Your promises are backed by all the honor of Your name.”…Psalm 138: 2

Have you walked around carrying guilt that He has already removed?

choosing to trust~

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Day 16 of 72 : returning to my first love

sometimes healing is inside.  where the human eye cannot see.  much time can go by..years in fact where we lose hope and begin to be wooed by the lies designed to keep bound and far from the freedom we are offered.  That you were made this way and nothing will ever change and where is this power that You speak about?  If I’m made to live this life in freedom and power where is it because I want it..I spoke some weeks ago.  You have lovingly allowed me to carry all of this around until I couldn’t do it in my strength or anyone else’s… any longer.

After several years away from You after being so close and I wanted to come home and you spoke from your Word to me in Revelation 2:4 that I left my first love. because I didn’t know where to start…and it was with these words that my path began to turn around.  I didn’t know it at the time…I didn’t feel it I just began to put You back into my life.  And with much ups and downs..here I am almost 3 years later and time is not relevant to Him.  Am I making progress or am I just stuck here treading I ask?  The lie is that I really do not having any power..it is His power I am learning to reach for..filling my empty places with His bright blue sky kinda power.

I am not a victim and I refuse to be stuck.  I am making progress.  How do I know?  I have looked back and am seeing inside healing.  The way I am living life everyday is different.  Not to say I don’t have deep valley’s of despair on this journey but He has given my new eyes to see differently..to see myself differently which means I respond differetly.   I think the lapse in time is inside healing time because I could not..can not do what is ahead if my insides weren’t able to walk the next leg of the journey. Taking a deeup breath… I am jumping because I trust the One who is catching me.  There I said it.  No turning back.  And I am awe..it is to marvelous how I am standing still and seeing with my new eyes..how He is moving things.  I bow my heart and my knee to the One who sees all…and who sees me and loves me completely.

He won’t let me or you forget our way home

 

he writes my story into His song..my life for the glory of God~ ( Christa Wells )

 

 

 

how has He been writing your story?
have you been healed inside and lived it on the outside?

 

p.s. One big thing He is healing is the way I view myself that translates into the way I dress.  I have retired my logo t shirts from AE, Abercrombie and such.  Nikki tells me I cannot shop in little girl stores anymore.  And I happily agree.  I am ready to dress like a woman and I couldn’t be more excited.  Do I feel uncomfortable…absolutely!  am I going to do it anyway?  Absolutely:)

 

 

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Days 12-15 of 72 : a lapse in jumping

1, 2, 3 JUMP…but I know the water is cold.  Hesitation.  She looks for her friend that is usually there to jump with her.  The eyes of blue..that I look into to see pieces of me..ask and I say, ” You can do it!”  She inhales as she pulls the goggles down over the eyes of blue…that I look into to see pieces of me..

the breathe exhales slow and her feet are on releve and I count again 1, 2, 3 and she JUMPS

and I don’t

I’m wondering if during this lapse in time God could use to bring forth an even greater harvest?

Just as surely as the Kingdom of God prospers when we are steadfast in Him, so do our own hearts

and minds.  God will never send us into the valley and ask us to bow

to His authority there without sooner or later bringing a harvest from the ground

watered by our sweat and tears.” Beth Moore..Breaking Free

The lapse has a purpose.  I am learning to unlearn.  The biggest lesson right now for me is to trust…confide in…feel safe…be confident and secure in the One who is counting 1, 2 … He waits patiently for me and I am hearing Him say more clearly than ever, ” You can do it!”
I  have some baggage to be healed.  Tomorrow is about some healing!

Sorry for the pause in posting:) We’ve been swimming, doing a little shopping, hanging out with family on Father’s Day.

We saw Mr. Popper’s Penguins, did some walking, BBQing, ate some sushi and so forth…but regular posting will resume:)

Are you one who likes to gradually get used to the water?
Or are you a jumper?
Have you found the lapses have yielded greater blessing
than if it had all been given at once?

Exhaling~

 

 

Hoping to link to Jen @ Finding Heaven tonight.  Last week I got busy and forgot..ugh!  Please come visit the girls.

I love them all!

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Day 11 of 72 : growing pains & a lemonade stand

 

boy… 72 days of blogging…11 days in.

and I believe I am experiencing growing pains…i am…growing in faith.  really?  all of this.  years of this. just growing my faith?

because years ahead He knew what was coming…maybe?

The girls are busy bee’s with pen and paper scribbling down ways to make money for their clubhouse.  Today’s scribble became a reality.

Nervously..expectantly she watches as a car comes toward them.

I .. a week and one half into settled … now have been stirred.  I too – expectantly believe.

Squeels of glee their eyes shining… say to mommies watching on… we made another 1.00!

and as my soul and flesh wrestle..once again awakened to reality

I am faced again with the biggest choice … the biggest leap of faith I have ever been asked to make

the choice of bread with strife or poverty with peace


and this sweet little guy says..take my picture and I can’t help but be drawn in by his zest for life

where does that childlike faith go?

Life moves on in the midst of lemonade stands.  Child like faith believes.

For this is what the LORD, the God of Israel, says:  There will always be plenty of flour and oil left in your containers until the time

when the LORD sends rain and the crops grow again!”  I Kings 17:14

Do I believe He is big enough and the real question is do I trust Him

to supply the flour and oil?  He says the crops will grow again…

there is a way… I say

 

do you find times in your life when the growing pains
are pains of faith?  where your faith is being stretched?
did you ever build a lemonade stand as a child?
XO~

 

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