Monthly Archives: June 2011

Day 24 of 72 : Do you dare..a challenge

 

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my heart waters have been stirred with His hand … and the smell is sweet beneath my nose and I lift it up to sip..slowly..savoring it on the buds of my tongue before swallowing.  The heat rushes down until it hits my belly.  And this is where these words sit..ready to be digested into tiny microscopic pieces to be used for my good and His glory…

if there should arise ONE UTTERLY BELIEVING MAN/WOMAN, the history of the world might be changed

i ask you quietly and oh so humbly …barely audible to the ear

as i dare ask myself

will you be that woman Tiffini

do you dare..in the secret place with Him today…

do you dare to trust…wholly?

do you dare?

XO~


 

I was perusing the other day and happened upon the lovely blog of Into Vintage…go check out her Etsy store…sweet as pie!  The colors I find myself drawn into lately..bright-cheerful-full of live!



 

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Day 23 of 72 : the call

Almost like Samuel..at nine or so years of age.   I heard Him…I talked with Him.  for real.

Since then, He’s never left me alone. All these years.  Am I just now answering His call? It has been burning

in my bones for almost 15 years…this desire.  I’ve tried many things to extinguish it.

wander back in time…
is there a call you never answered..or did and then stopped
talking somewhere along the way?

photo credit Jakob Valling

XO~

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Day 22 of 72 : wallpaper of lies..a list

God sees our willingness to be free and our faith to believe
He could accomplish what we are powerless to do
Beth Moore…Breaking Free

I’m processing here so please bear with me.  I posted here about “feeling loosed” .  A couple of days later God showed me through my days study in Beth Moore’s Breaking Free that I really am loosed!  Here is one way she explains it.

it more than asking for forgiveness of sins; I am determined to be free.
Because I am ready to fully cooperate with God, my eyes are opened to mind-binding lies and
I sought the divine strength necessary to tear them down.

Beth has you write down all of the lies that come to mind. The lies tumbled one after the other onto paper.   I am becoming a free woman for the first time in my life! How Beth explains it made total sense to me.  I asked for forgiveness etc. but nothing really ever changed.  Here is what she said

“We can be forgiven however, and still not be free.  And if we’re not free, we will soon cycle back into sin.  Happens all the time.”

Guess what? I’ve cycled 43 years…in almost the very same spot!   But by His grace and mercy my eyes have been opened. I would have never thought blogging through this summer…things like this would happen.  I’m fragile and I know this is the tip of the iceburg.

He’s let me glimpse that child of long ago..full of confusion, pain and grief from lies of open oozing wounds..she’s unknowingly been controlling me my wholele life…this little girl Tiffini.  Looking at her used to bring me pain..followed by frustration and then anger.

but now..and then..GOD..

There was a wound once in a gentle heart,
Whence all life’s sweetness seemed to ebb and die;
And love’s confiding changed to bitter smart,
While slow, sad years went by.

Yet as they passed, unseen an angel stole
And laid the balm of healing on the pain,
Till love grew purer in the heart made whole,
And peace came back again…author unknown


My thinking in blogging through 72 Days of Summer was I would begin to see a pattern..God speaking..maybe I’m missing something?  I don’t want to ever forget these lies.  Now that I am more aware of them I am able to see them more easily and I am able to shut them down. I believe these lies were planted as a very young child..possibly even infancy.  And then came reoccurring life events to shove them down deep and as child I didn’t even know it. Here is my wallpaper list of lies that has been glued to the walls of  my mind ever since.  I left some out for privacy and believe it or not they are still coming.

:: My Wallpaper List of Lies ::

  • I’m not responsible for other people’s actions ( HUGE )
  • it’s all my fault
  • that something is really wrong with me and others can see it
  • I’m not worth being loved
  • staying in relatienship for years to punish myself
  • don’t deserve happiness
  • love is earned.  I have to “do” to be loved
  • feeling like a little  girl inside…not a woman who can make choices
  • I’m not able to make my own decisions..especially good ones
  • men ( especially those in authority ) scare me…bad.  This is a hard one!
  • I am stupid
  • not a good mom
  • you will never make it on your own
  • I need someone to take care of me
  • no one will believe me
  • I’m not enough

Seeing them in black & white I’m able to see how my life has played out with these patterns of thinking….can’t you?

Have you been stuck in something for a long time
and wonder if maybe a lie is behind it?  If so – you are not alone.
Linking up with Jen for SDG @ Finding Heaven
Beautiful picture credits to David Eustace…thanks Mr. Eustace for finding beauty through a lens

XO~

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Day 20/21 of 72 : “S”napshots of a weekend photo shoot

sno cones..sushi..shopping..swimming..and sunglasses with smiles… sums up our weekend. 

Grace’s inner Steve Urkel graced us with “her” appearance while her sister Nikki tried squeezing in ” spur of the moment” photo shoot.

Nikki – the child I had when I was but a childnever ceases to amaze me with her gift of seeing through a lens.  ( Obviously – she did not get from me;)

She confessed to me last week that she :cringes: when she sees photos that I post … and my editing of them:)

I’m a good sport though…I know I have a long way to go and lots to learn

This fall/winter I would LOVE to take a class or two on photography.  I could easily become addicted!  Do you love photography?

I keep telling her she should really get into her photography again…what do you think?:)  Here are just a few… 

 

 

 Remember our tadpoles here?  Where the simple summer began…here they are now up close and personal. 

The blog design is coming along…sorry for the changes over the last two weeks.  Another week and we shall be done:) 

Happy Monday~
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Day 19 of 72 : bustin’ loose

October of 2003 was when this stone was written. 8 years it took me.  This time and place.  The time God knew would come all along. I wonder – even before we make that step of faith – He knows setting the wheels in motion.  “It is loosed” are the words that I’ve been saying today.  Weird I know!



I want to believe all of who God says He is. I want to take You at your very word.  You tell me that you Word is alive and powerful.   I’ve been reading story after story of what You have done for Your people. You are the same God that I’m reading about!

These three things He has been teaching me on the inside.  8 years ago…even 5 I wouldn’t have known this.  I do now.

To know I’m loved..His beloved

That I am courageous..and can do it even though I’m scared

I’m trusting Him and His word and I’m bustin’ loose…

I don’t know what these days and weeks and months ahead will unfold for us but I chuckle because I’ve been reading about Elijah and Elisha!

do you quietly wonder if Christians in our country would begin
to believe God..to trust Him with all that they are and have what
would happen?…I do

Here is what my Grace Adventure counselor and I came up with the course was done.

I want to remember this through the rest of summer and beyond…

Tiffini is a playful - authentic - worthywoman….who is ENOUGH!
forgot to add..before you say the above words…it should read, ” by the grace of God I am”
The haappiest of weekends coming your way..xoxo each one of you~

 

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