It is at this pivotal point that I’ve found myself in this week
I’ve realized that God is stirring the waters of my heart
through new eyes I’m beginning to see these hard places, trials and emergencies
are for my learning. To try out in ” real life ” what I’m learning on the inside.
He is taking my fingers
and gently undoing them from around the deceit and oppression that I have been
trusting in and placing those same fingers in His hand…showing me the
deep waters of trouble that have kept me from living life as He intended.
Ah Ha…this is why ” It is not me that is seeking wholeness it is Him that has
initiated the wholeness with the stirring of the waters. “
Is this how the Great Physician heals hearts? by stirring up the waters so we can look
at the hunger that gnaws incessantly…inviting me to come.
He does allow us to choose doesn’t He. He never forces.
I know to do so will be hard. I will have to sacrifice things I think I can’t live without.
the hunger presses me forward though. to take that step down
into the deep troubled water…
and He waits for me there.
For an angel went down at certain times into the pool,
and stirred up the water.
Whoever stepped in first after the stirring of the water
was made whole of whatever disease he had. ( John 5:4 )
Are you holding anything back from God..thinking you could not live without it?
Are you willing to take that step into the deep water…deeper faith?
Have the waters of your heart been troubled? Are you longing for wholeness?
Happy Holiday Weekend:)
Welcome to Word Woman Wednesday! I love having you all here. You presence is a gift to me…really:) A day where we share the hearts of women. Leaving words of encouragement and wrap our arms around the one opening herself up to you.
I think we all are trying to find our place in the world don’t you? Some of you have already met Joybird and you know her heart. How she writes with raw vulnerability from deep places. For YOU who are reading her for the first time you are in for a treat. Upon my first visit I felt an immediate kindred spirit. She has visited some of the places I have. Wading through a ” whole lotta hard “ can make for tough going. This is where I am finding the value in blog friends. It is a gift. We can pray-encourage-listen-inspire and grieve each other through a whole lotta hard. And then rejoice when we make it to the other side.
I love this sweet soul …
The holy LORD God of Israel has told all of you,
“I will keep you safe if you turn back to me and calm down.
I will make you strong if you quietly trust me.”
Then you stubbornly
Isaiah 30:15 CEV
I’m memorizing scripture with the Beth Moore’s Siestaville this year. This is the first time I’ve systematically committed the bible to heart since I was a little VBS’er. Interesting experience. I’ve never found scripture to be so vital or challenging. In a year when my feelings and interpretation of events say some pretty harsh things about God these verses have been freedom filled correction: guardrails in this steeply winding portion of my journey.
Isaiah 30:15 drew me because of the words safety, strength and comfort. I was attracted to the translations that talked about resting and quietness, those are messages I often like. But there was something about the straightforward directions in the Contemporary English Version that captured my attention: turn back, calm down, quietly trust. When I was searching for this last verse I felt as if my whole life was being shaken and possibly turned upside down. This was not a moment for gentle as much as it was for clear and direct.
But then there was that weird half sentence at the end. Then you stubbornly I don’t like things that are interrupted, unfinished. I like packages tied up with pretty bows and this string is irritatingly determined to dangle. But I went ahead and added this verse to my SSMT sidebar and index cards. Determined to ignore or rush over those three annoying words with no punctuation. But they would not be ignored. They just sat there day after day waiting for me to complete the sentence. When I could resist no longer I began to fill in the blanks.
The holy LORD God of Israel has told all of you, “I will keep you safe if you turn back to me and calm down. I will make you strong if you quietly trust me.” Then you stubbornly
• whined and moaned and grumbled.
• worried yourself sick.
• accused God of betraying you when you haven’t read the end of the story and He has.
• scrabbled to find a way out.
• collapsed into self-loathing.
• lashed out in anger.
Over and over my stubborn reactions poured out, not just from the present but from my past.
• became paralyzed by depression.
• manipulated people hoping they would like you enough to keep you safe.
• pretended wounds were gone that were only hidden away while you were silently bleeding to death.
• borrowed lavishly hoping that stuff would equal stability.
• used sex to bandage a broken heart.
• refused to believe God could mend your heart.
• determined God was only being poetic when He said He loved you. He didn’t mean it.
On and on the list went. Please don’t get me wrong, I revel in His forgiveness. I don’t feel condemnation or shame as I write this, only clarity. When I discard His comforting directions, when I try to go around Him to save myself, I always end up mired in sin and in a worse mess than before. It all became so apparent when I took the time to reflect on those three pesky words.
And then another list begins to build like a triumphant anthem. I am not the only stubborn one. For then God stubbornly
• daydreamed about me.Jeremiah 29:11
• pursued me.Luke 15:4
• wooed me.Jeremiah 31:3
• rescued me.2 Samuel 22:20
• took care of me.1 Peter 5:7
• protected me.Psalm 91:2
• tattooed my name on His flesh.Isaiah 49:16
• forgave me.Psalm 32:5
• welcomed me home.Luke 15:20
• healed me.Psalm 30:2
• calls me beautiful.Ecclesiastes 3:11
• restored all I lost.Job 42:10
• empowered me.Acts 2:17
• established me.Isaiah 61:3
• died for me.1 Peter 3:18
• loved me.1 John 4:10
And really, isn’t this the stubborn list that counts?
to make the toes feel like summer...OPI’s new summer color…teeny weeny pink bikini.
here I talked about making homemade gluten free bread remember? Well – after pricing the ingredients I wasn’t so sure. Rudi’s gluten free bread now has Grace’s stamp of approval.
today I visited our library and they had 2010 magazines for free. I took the last three Better Homes and Gardens. Who wouldn’t right? Might as well see what they have to read since I have asummer reading list that I am building on. I haven’t heard anything about either book but I liked the titles…I love reading inspirational writings.
Do you have a Payless Shoesource by you? I don’t ever shop there but when I saw a commercial last night with adorable sandals that would look cute with sundresses..yes I did say dress..I had to go. They come in mustard yellow, white, hot pink and turquoise. They only had black in my size:( I will be a Payless Shoestore stalker until I have every color!
Can you smell them? My oldest daughter brought them home from the farmers market on Saturday.
Raw Cold Pressed Coconut oil…our new facial cleanser and moisturizer! Besides smelling like coconut freshly picked it is changing our skin around here. Did I mention you can use it for chapstick? You can..and don’t worry if it get in your mouth. its edible.
this pillow…right. I made it. Life is Swell. Don’t know if life is swell yet but our weekend sure was:)