**pardon the dust we are playing..again
I intimately know almost every single word of this testimony. It hit home. I’ve walked in similar shoes. Sibi, your words give hope today and I am humbled by them. We are the orphans that God has found and are forever changed by His love outside of religion & rules. These words are living words that will change your life…if you let Him. Meet my new sweet friend Sibi from Pearls and Grace and I know you will be a forever follower…
I am so thankful for a God who restores.
One who redeems.
One who renames.
One who makes all things new.
As I sit here today writing this special post.
I see a wedding band on my left hand and my precious husband is home tonight.
I hear tiny footsteps running through the house.
I hear laughter from five very small children.
And I listened to a phone call from our extremely excited 21 year old who just landed herself a brand new job.
And my heart is pounding with thanksgiving.
God restores.
Oh yes He does.
It hasn’t been easy. Or perfect. Or dreamy.
I have walked through my share of heartaches.
But He has restored.
He gave me the family I always wanted. He took what the enemy meant for harm to destroy me and
turned it around for good.
The enemy worked overtime to make sure that I never knew parental love.
Because if I had ever experienced parental love. True parental love. Unconditional love.
I may have walked in the knowledge of the truth and how much God loved me.
And my life and my testimony may have been completely different.
But that’s not my story.
I have a tremendous heart for the broken. For the hurting. For the rejected, abandoned and abused.
Because that was me.
The enemy made sure that I never knew that love. That acceptance. That complete and total security.
My father left when I was two.
He never came back. Ever.
He missed every birthday. Every Christmas. Every Easter.
Every dance recital. Every single thing.
He missed it all.
Not one card. Not one phone call.
Ever.
There were no pictures from the day I was born. There isn’t a single gift from Him.
My baby book is basically blank except for my first words.
Simply written….”Dada”
I cried for weeks when I read that.
There are no keepsakes. No pictures. No memories. No precious family heirlooms.
Nothing.
There are days when I wish he had never been in the picture at all.
Because as a Mother of six precious children, I cannot wrap my brain around how he could
have known me. Met me. Spent some time with me. Two years worth…..
And then left. Forever.
It was a tremendous wound of rejection and abandonment that has spanned most of my life.
To make matters worse.
I would be raised by a Mother who hated me.
She crushed me.
She was bi-polar and an alcoholic and despised Motherhood among other things.
To add salt to open wounds.
She remarried about the time I was 12 years old.
He loved her.
He hated me.
But he adopted me and my name changed.
I thought everything was going to be okay.
I was being renamed. We were going to be a family.
Finally. I am going to belong. To be loved. To be adored. To be cherished.
But he was angry and mean and abusive in many ways.
And none of the other ever happened.
It never happened.
The fairytale. The happily ever after. My birth father walking me down the aisle.
And that is where I was stuck.
For years.
In between never being Mama’s greatest joy and Daddy’s girl.
I was trapped exactly where the enemy wanted me.
But God.
In His unmerited favor and mercy and grace.
He wooed me unto Himself.
This girl who was not wanted. Who was not loved.
He saved me for Himself.
Years later. I would encounter Him. In a very real and meaningful and tangible way.
That had absolutely nothing to do with a church building or religion.
That had absolutely nothing to do with a specific denomination.
And everything to do with a Daddy pursuing His baby girl.
He was calling me unto Himself. For such a time as this.
He sought me out. He pursued me. He loved on me. He accepted me.
And He renamed me.
The love of God is irresistible you know.
And I relish in it every. single. day.
For Him to love me……
In all of my shortcomings. In all of my flaws. In all of my past mistakes.
He loves me.
I love the scripture that reads…
When your Mother and Father forsake you, the Lord will take you up.
He must have known. That there would be children who would be forsaken by their own parents.
And he reserved them, to call them out. To set them apart. So that after they received the revelation knowledge of how much they are loved by Him they could then go and pour out that love upon others.
And I am amazed that the very thing that the enemy meant for harm is the very passion that drives me
and motivates me each and every day to demonstrate the love of the father to the brokenhearted.
The forgotten.
The rejected and the abandoned.
It is my passion and comes from a deep place of healed brokenness.
Maybe that is you today. Maybe you are keeping God at arms length to keep yourself from getting hurt.
Or maybe you are still disappointed with Him.
Or every angry with Him.
Maybe life has been unfair to you.
Maybe it’s too painful to trust anyone again. Even God.
But from someone who has walked through many years of unfair things. Painful things. And unjust things.
I want to encourage you today to allow the Father in. Allow Him in to those deep places.
It isn’t easy. But it’s worth it.
In that deep place of vulnerability the Father will reveal Himself to you in the most beautiful ways.
He desires to have a relationship with you. One that has nothing to do with rules or religion and everything to do with a supernatural love that is not from this world.
I pray that today, even in the midst of painful things and unfair things that you, sweet reader, would allow the Father to come into your life in a new way, a fresh way and make all things new.
You are blessed and highly favored. No matter what your circumstances are. No matter what you have done or what you have walked through. You are forgiven and you are loved by the one true Father and it’s not too late to be Daddy’s little girl…….
If you have a post that you would love to share just enter the exact URL and click OK. Please leave a link back here the House of Belonging so we may find each other. Also, because I know you do:) please go visit others and leave some heartfelt words that will encourage and lift up others hearts. We never really know what one is going through and how God may use your words today.
If you have a story to tell and feel so led to do so here on Word Women Wednesdays please just shoot me an email @ tiffkilgore@live.com…… because I would love to talk with you.
Please go visit Sibi @ Pearls and Grace to hear more of her story of redemption. Aren’t you grateful that He restores…yes?
Happy Wednesday sweet friends…hugs to each and every one of you and know you are prayed for…always.
All my love,
+ - 17 comments
Heart n Soul - Oh wow….love your open, vulnerable and raw post. So inspirational!…..loving your delightful pics too. God Bless.
Jen - Last night I was thinking about how much I struggle with trust. I know that He is asking me to let Him in on this, for I know that He wants me to be able to trust Him emphatically, and a few other people, too.
Thank you for sharing your story.
a pocket full of posies - as always, Sibi is such a joy to read…she shares her heart, and in so doing, opens hearts to the Father’s unconditional love! Beautiful! just beautiful! Thank you for sharing today!
Many Blessings!
Jill
Lizziefitz - Love ,love Sibi!!!! You are a beautiful gift to more people than you could ever imagine. You are sending out 6 very loved children into the world. The ripple effect of God’s love is endless.Thank you for sharing your heart and story. Hugs.
Stephanie - This post touched my heart so much. I lead a survivors of sexual abuse group, and last night we talked about “fantasy bonding” – how we often create a fantasy in our minds about what we would want a relationship to look like – because accepting the reality is just too much – espically for a child being abused. I visited your website – can I just say that it is one of the most beautiful and soothing sites I have ever come across? Love it! Thank you so much for sharing. Isn’t it fun to be fairy princessess loved by Jesus!!!!!
Casey - This post is absolutely beautiful, and so touching. My situation is not identical to yours, but similar. I am dead serious when I say that I learned how to have a good marriage and be a loving, supportive parent by simply doing the exact opposite of what I saw as a child from my parents. Your writing is incredibly encouraging – thank you
Courtney - This is so powerful. Thank you for sharing and for introducing us to Sibi!
Claire - I ,too, have experienced the God who redeems, not exactly in the same way as you, but my story is just as powerful. One of the Scriptures God brought to my attention 15 years ago in the midst of a wave of emotional healing was Joel 2:25: I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten.” Just this morning, I was reflecting on Lam. 2:21-24. This I recall to mind…the Lord is faithful in all He has promised!
Deidra - “But God.” Just that. It changes everything, doesn’t it? HE changes everything!
Sibi Riffer - @ Deidra~
But God. I remind myself of these two powerful words every.single.day.
So much power in those six letters!!!
Thank you for taking the time to comment!!
@ Claire~ It’s one of my favorites and I had it printed on the back of the envelope of my personal stationery. I love Joel 2:25.
“The swarming locust. The crawling locust. The consuming locust. And the chewing locust.” Have mercy. I have experienced them all. In so many different ways. For years. And so many of us have…I am so thankful that He restores……
Thank you for sharing your heart with me today. Bless you!!
Sibi Riffer - @Courtney~ Thank you so much!
@Casey~ Yes! I hear you sweet friend. I am trying my best to do the same. There are no perfect parents but I am praying that with His help my little ones will have a blessed life! Thank you for taking the time to share!!! Bless you!
@Stephanie~ Thank you so much….May God continue to be glorified…..and YES! It is fun to be His princess….It took me years to realize that!! Bless you for all that you are doing for those precious survivors!!!!
Sibi Riffer - @Lizzie~ Thank you!!! Love to you sweet friend and Mother of five!! We are raising world changers aren’t we?!!! Bless you!!
@ Posies~ Tears……you made my heart sing today. Thank you for your life giving, soul lifting beautiful words of encouragement. You blessed me……
@ Jen~ You are so welcome! Thank you for reading and for opening your heart….I know that He is about to pour into your life in a brand new way today. Thank you for taking the time to share your heart……
@ Heart and Soul~ Thank you so much!! God is so good isn’t He? Bless you!!
Susie - I have never left a message on a blog before. To do so now is a testament to how powerful your message is. I recognize your story, your passion, your drive, all borne of brokenheartedness. God is on the throne. Bless you for responding to His call. You are an amazing woman.
Eileen - Very beautiful post filled with so much encouragement. I think one of the most powerful parts…”But God” I love that. He is so much bigger than all the brokenness, pain and heartache that we sometimes face. Thank you for your words. Enjoyed them.
Carissa - Beautiful. And yet I am feeling pangs as I read it. My story is not the same as yours, but I do know the God that woos His daughters (and sons) through a broken, hurtful earth-father relationship. He is such a good Daddy.
Sweet Tea - So grateful for this testimony. God is so good!!
Mrs.B - Beautiful story of God’s love, Sibi.
