Monthly Archives: March 2011

Dear Monday…how to get out of a funk

Our dreams become real by building

God has given me a path to follow…He has spoken through His Word to my heart but lately… I’m in a funk. Really?

I’ll let you in on something. I am inclined to think my “funk” is lack of doing what He has already shown me.


I think the ” funk ” is me not picking up and building!

I am still up on the hill looking over the dream. Now is the time to prayerfully dissect all He has spoken to me and do it. I pray to share all of these ways as I do them … with you.
God has been showing me my life through a wide angle lens.  I put the camera to my eye…squint…and turn the lens.  I see more detail now.

the dream becomes something I want…

You see – I’ve only lived with half a heart. I’ve lived 16 years in a relationship that has literally made me sick and almost crazy. There have been many rocks overturned in attempts to mend things. You can’t fix what doesn’t want to be fixed so what is one to do?

I’ve been sitting and looking at this question for at least 10 years.

Here…today…pen meets the paper. Where it starts. The journaling .

If I can allow change in circumstances that aren’t what one would dream…that when one’s WHOLEHEART is changed it will change everything else.

I haven’t lived what I’ve loved. For many reasons but one reason that immediately comes to mind is that I didn’t KNOW what I loved and I didn’t love myself so I didn’t set boundaries for anyone else to treat me well.

God keeps bringing me back to my dreams. Dreams I had as a child. Things that give me pleasure .. bring me contentment.

One REAL SIMPLE thing I did this weekend from reading Lissa’s post was to intentionally buy fresh flowers for my home. I’ve always enjoyed flowers but could never bring myself to spend the money on something that dies. Silly right? for me I’m learning that is wrong. This simple money that was spent gave me immense joy just looking at them…with gratitude at our Creator for making something so exquisite it brought praise to my lips.

I hope you will humbly allow me to share what is to come.  First and foremost this is for me. Secondly- for others.  I need to get all of this out. Sort through. Let go of what isn’t beneficial to me and to the children. I don’t have the big picture…at all. But it is time. I am ready to stick around this story awhile. Explore it with the zoom lens…close up. Taking the tangible things He is teaching me and put them into my life. See what it would look like for a woman to live wholehearted and how that would infuse change in life as she knows it.

Have you ever been in a place..a funk… that could be traced back to not doing what God has told you to do?

beginning the re-write

XO,


 

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I‘m still working on a big project that I am just so excited about. I am in the middle of a flair which has caused me to slow down even more so soon…soon.

This Wenesday we will have Lissa from Humble Pie speaking words of life to us, a Linkup and something little I’ve been working on that I will be offering as a giveaway. So – please come and enjoy some wrapped in love words from Lissa and join in our Word women by linking up a post that would encourage our journey together AND get ready for a fun giveaway…would you?:)

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You all inspire me in so many ways. Getting out of a life long rut is so much easier to grasp when you have others who are genuine hearts who share, encourage..to  just journey with you. thankyou…I often am so overwhelmed by your words that I wish I could visit each one of you everyday and hug you and we could visit over coffee for hours on end.

Linking up with Graceful for Hear it on Sunday.  Use it on Monday

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it is in the exchanging

moving toward simplicity of surroundings …content without a lot of possessions to distract me.  That is what I am being pulled towards.  What about you?

cleaning out my life…opening my heart to change.

exchanging feeling progressively more alive for progressively more dead.  Because if I tell the truth that is where I’m heading.  Death of Life…of living. I have, as far back as I can  remember, been miserable with what I am doing.  Always having this dream but no time or not making any time for things that I have passion for.  It is called life.  It happens.  You get married have children and wake up decades later only to find that life has happened but life has not been lived.

Sometimes, we cannot change our circumstances but we CAN add things into our live that bring us joy.  That is within our power.

I can no longer sit back and watch my life fade into eternity and not give the dreams He placed within me the opportunity to develop.

I can sense all the heart opening..I can see it all blurry out in front of me.  Anticipation dancing all around.  I just don’t know what it will look like. Faith is believing without seeing right?  so I whisper … Father help my unbelief..I pray for Giant Faith.

I have read ” only put into your life those things you cannot possibly live without ”  I have been thinking lots about these words…lately.

What makes you burn to live? if you could do one thing … anything… what would it be?  If you can’t do that now -what is one thing you could add into your life that would make that dream one step closer to being reality?  That one real piece of joy that you could put on everyday?

Maybe it would be taking a class, volunteering at a homeless shelter or your child’s school, striking up a conversation with that person that has been on your heart for a year, baking cookies and taking them to people, learning to paint or photography, a writing class;) swimming, starting your own business, going to counseling for yourself this time, making a new friend, start gardening, singing, a dance class maybe?

Philippians 4:13

For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.

it is in the exchanging.

sharing these words with Emily @ Imperfect Prose


Happy Weekend:)

XO,

 

 

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naked on the battlfield

 

They who are God’s without reserve, are in every state content; for they will only what He wills, and desire to do for Him whatever He desires them to do; they strip themselves of everything, and in this nakedness find all things restored a hundredfold.

 

The land isn’t sown yet..Jeremiah 2:2

His are birthed into a battlefield..an unknown land.  An infant.  He’s given us all we need to live all neatly tucked in.  The infant grows in this battle field and the front lines grow heavy and she retreats.  The years pass in a blur of waging war.  Sitting in foxholes made by her own hands.  Watching those she loves fall by arrows aimed … seeing fetal curled life stopped for lack of hope… tongue cleaving to the the roofs of mouths for lack of water... harrowing cries of prisoners fingers blood dried wound tight around bars of cold steel.  Wounds laid down with lies.

Eyes open wide in fear as mouths open wide in screams where there is no sound coming … bloodied corpse’s lay with loved hearts laying over gut wrenched as they can no more hear the heartbeat…walking life only their eyes are dark and lifeless with little ones begging for them to look. to listen and there is no one home.

we are birthed into a battlefield.  the shadow land.  and we’ve been given a seed and this seed. .. Its rolled around and around in my hearts hand and I am asking.  I sit… blood dried wounds oozing and it wells from down gut deep and pain comes in torrents out of my mouth to the heavens and rends them wide open. I see not with my naked eye but with my soul eye…what is one to do..Father I see..can you see?  the people they are dying.  women are falling heavy on the ground and their babies.

I have this seed Father.  You gave it to me on my birth day.  I still have it  I’ve been watering it with my tears but I don’t understand.  I’m undone in the doing.  I have nothing left .  What is the next step?  What do I do with this seed in this land of giants that are to big for just one? There are to many dying and I can’t save them all.

Daughter..the land isn’t sown yet.  You have my seed.  You cannot save them all   It is not up to you.  This seed I have given you I give to all.  I will show you how to plant it.  Here is a first step.

I want to learn..to sit at the feet of those who have gone before.  to be tutored..mentored.  It’s time.  I am going back..I am called to be a warrior woman.  I had never been to Lysa’s blog before until I read Brooke’s post. I clicked over to read what this She Speaks was…and my breath caught.  I want to go.  A step.  A step I could not take on my own.

I’ve been given a seed for the hearts of women..I‘ve fought against it for years…mostly out of lack of understanding and my own waging war.  In every woman’s heart … I see mine.  For every woman held captive by lies that wounded them in childhood I see my lies..my wounds.  For every woman bound in fear I see my fear.  For all the living and doing…out of those lies and their consequences thinking it is to hard and to many mistakes…there is hope.  There is a way out.  Follow me.  I want to go..I can’t go alone.. I need help..I need more training in how to cultivate seeds.

We are birthed into a battlefield.  I want to fight like Great Heart.  I tenaciously ask for Big faith…not little faith.  We are just the messenger.  All of my heart wants to learn how to speak and write the message so those that read it can run.

I stand on  the battlefield in nakedness asking of the only One who can restore what needs restoring.  I hear their silent screams do you?  Let’s be carriers of hope to hearts that are hopeless making heart healing accessible to all…freely…with not strings.

I can envision women standing together..hearts broken by their own woundedness…wounded warriors carrying the medicine … the seed… that will set captives free.

We are breathing in a real battlefield..will you stand naked baring all before the One with whom we have to do? Will you allow Him to send you? Will you be vulnerable in your woundedness…will you be a wounded healer?  Are you called to be a Warrior Word Woman?

Are you His without reserve?

If so – I challenge you to click this link and pray about this conference. She Speaks Scholarship Contest 2011

She Speaks Conference 2011

I pray we might become called women, not driven, with well thought through and prayed through goals in our lives.

XO,

 

 

 

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Word Women Wednesday & Linkup

She made my top five favorite blogs that I love…even though this is not my niche but because I always come away feeling inspired.  She is giving… (click here for her March giveaway) and her heart for her art is transparent and contagious.  She has the cutest printables and simply adorable tutorials.

My heart was stirred to tears over her Twirl post so when I asked Emily if she would like to participate in our Word Women Wednesday, this is the post she suggested and I agreed…go get some coffee or hot tea and peruse down her blog posts.  She’s a beautiful heart that I am honored to share with you….Emily from Jones Design Co.

It was so fun to post new photos of Audrey’s nursery last Friday and you all said some very kind things about it. Thank you!

But the best part for me was that many of you were somehow impacted by the scripture in her room.  For some, it is your favorite verse. For others, it meant something special to you at that particular moment. I love how God’s word can do that … it is living and can speak different things to different people right when you need it most.

So today, I want to share with you why I chose that verse to be Audrey’s.  It is sort of a round-about story and this may go all over the place, but I’ll give it a shot.  Here it goes …

When I was pregnant with our No.1, I read Wild At Heart, by John Eldredge.  I think deep down I knew I was going to have a boy and so I wanted to learn a little more about how they are made and prepare myself for raising a son {as a side: you should read it whether you have boys or not … it’s a great book about manhood}.

When I was pregnant with No.2, I read Captivating, by John’s wife, Stasi.  Perhaps I read it because I thought I was having a girl {which, clearly, I was not}, or maybe it was just because I loved Wild At Heart so much, but truthfully, it didn’t have the same impact. Good, but not great.

Skip forward a few years {in between No.3 & No.4}.  I was at our Ladies’ bible study during worship time and had the sweetest picture dance across my closed eyes.  I saw a little girl, with the sun shining down on her, spinning.

She wore a light dress and with her arms outstretched and her face looking to the sky, she just twirled.

And what I heard in my heart was, “Emily, you’re my girl. I am so pleased with who you are and now I want you to twirl”.

It seemed so strange – twirl? What does that mean?

But because of the book I had read a few years before, I knew.

Stasi Eldredge wrote about little girls who stand on the coffee table and spin while their daddies watch them, adoringly. That desire to be adored by our dads is ingrained in us from such an early stage.  We want to be beautiful, cherished, captivating.  We twirl without a care, simply because we feel lovely and we want the world {or our daddy!} to see us.

So that Thursday morning, in the middle of bible study, I knew what the Lord was trying to say. He wanted me to know that just as that little girl spins freely in front of her daddy, I, too, can twirl without inhibitions before my Heavenly Father.

I am His girl.

He is delighted in me.

Not because I am great at twirling, but because I am twirling.  I am just being His daughter, His girl and He is pleased.

When I was pregnant with Audrey, I was, again, at bible study when the word DELIGHT came to my mind.  I looked up the word in the concordance of my bible {that back section where it tells what word is found in what scripture verse} and came to Zephaniah 3:17:

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I had read the verse before, but I read it this time with fresh eyes.

He will take great delight in you … He will rejoice over you with singing.

Well, no wonder He wants me to twirl, I thought. It’s because He is the one doing the singing!

Do you see it? Do you see that He loves you SO much that He sings over you?

In a society where we are never good enough, never pretty enough or thin enough or stylish or creative or talented enough, the Lord says,

STOP. I am with you. I am MIGHTY. Strong enough to save you from whatever it is that is after you. Let me quiet you with my love. Will you listen to my sweet voice as I sing my songs of delight over you? You are just as I want you to be. Now be free.

And twirl.

This is such a deep truth that I want for myself and one that I want for my daughter. I want her to know that above all else, she is perfectly and wonderfully made. She doesn’t need to strive for her God’s love. She doesn’t need to hide from her God’s love. She just needs to accept it.

And twirl.

And so, that is why I chose that verse for my baby girl. And I pray it for you as well.  It is hard being a woman – we feel so many pressures to be what we are not and far too many of us struggle with insecurity.  Oh how we long to be free! How wonderful would it feel to put on our best twirling skirt and dance – and feel beautiful doing it!  I know it is hard and sounds so lofty, but it is what I believe we are to do as daughters of the Most High God. Surely, if He can sing over us, we can step out and dance.

Perhaps even twirl.

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You?…Twirl? come on lets join Emily…close your eyes and picture the SON shining light all around you as you dance..free.. right now.  Go to the bathroom if your at work.  Make time as soon as possible to twirl and dance.  Just you and Him.  Nobody can see. If you have a hard time playing this could be uncomfortable for you but just try it ( it is for me too).  The earth is shaking from all of us dancing and twirling…ssshh…can you hear it?  His delight!

Now your turn to linkup anything you would like to share. Just linkup your exact URL to your post and bam!  that’s it.  ( linkup opens at 8:00 pm … it didn’t go up until this morning..my fault..ugh:)  If you could link back here in some way that would be just great.  We love to visit with each other.  Throughout the day..a little here and a little there just pop in.  Maybe 2 at a time? Thanks so much to all of you who support our word women wednesdays.  Thank you to all who have guest posted as well. Your bravery and honesty we will never know how God will use our obedience this side of heaven.

XO,

 

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are you ready for some hard knee time?

Can the American family be saved? I asked that question.  I believe the first answer to that question is prayer.  I don’t just think a quick hey God…is what is needful.  I believe it is the offering of intentional pouring out our hearts..wrapped in gratitude until….until.  I am convicted & challenged and I believe God is calling this mom to do some hard knee time on behalf of her sons.  Will you join us at the altar for 21 days and share what our God is going to do in the lives of our sons?

April 1, 2011 – April 29, 2011

Each Friday I will provide bloggers with an opportunity to link-up posts about how God is moving through the 21 Days of Prayer for Sons experience. But anyone, bloggers and non-bloggers alike can participate and share how God is working in their family by leaving comments throughout the challenge….Brooke McGlothlin

In the place of your fathers will be your sons;

You shall make them princes in all the earth.

Psalm 45:16

Won’t you kneel here and add your blog name to the Sign Up?

********Word Women Wednesday********

Tomorrow guest post & linkup.  Writing prompt is Zephaniah 3:17. Remember, it can be anything that this verse inspires you.  Crafts, story, poem, pictures whatever.  Just have fun with it.  Visit and encourage each other.  As always – if you have any ideas or questions please don’t hesitate for one moment to email ok?:)

Linking up my words with their words today @ Finding Heaven. Go meet my friend…Jen and all the other women who have impacted my life in such a huge way.

Finding Heaven

xo,


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